Death 03
Following the order of King Yama, the attendant placed the bundle on the scale.
In that brief moment, a flood of emotions washed over me.
Looking back, I don't think I lived a particularly virtuous life.
I was always self-centered, and my family came first. I never reached out a warm hand to those shivering in the cold or living in poverty, and I certainly never sacrificed myself to serve anyone else.
But it's not like I did anything especially bad or committed any crimes. I was just an ordinary person, neither good nor evil, just moderately tainted by the world.
So, what will the result be?
"Oh! This is…"
"What is it? Is something wrong?"
Unable to contain my curiosity, I rose from my chair.
Strangely, the needle of the scale pointed exactly to the center.
The bundles of good deeds and evil deeds were in perfect balance.
"How peculiar. Your good and evil deeds are exactly equal."
"What happens in this case? Do I go half to heaven, half to hell?"
Like ordering half-and-half fried chicken, I thought.
At my silly joke, King Yama frowned slightly and muttered as if trying to communicate with someone. Was he wearing a Bluetooth earpiece or something?
"…Yes. I'll handle it that way. Hmm. The higher-ups have made a decision."
"The higher-ups? There's someone above King Yeomra?"
"Of course. I'm just a lower god in charge of the afterlife."
Well, I guess there are things higher than a king.
Like an emperor… Could it be the Jade Emperor?
"Anyway, King Yama, what's the verdict?"
"You will now be reincarnated."
"Reincarnated…? You mean, born again?"
"That's right. You'll let go of your memories in the River of Oblivion and live a new life. In your next life, you'll accumulate karma and be judged again."
"What? Judged again?"
"Yes."
"So you're telling me to live this wretched life all over again? I refuse."
"What?"
King Yama's eyes widened at my audacious response.
Maybe it was the first time someone refused after being sent back.
"After my unjust death, I wandered the world as a ghost and saw many terrible things. I thought everything was finally over, but now you're telling me to live again? I don't want to. I don't want to stay in the living world anymore. Just pass judgment here and now. Even if you send me to hell, I'll go without complaint. My life was hell anyway."
"Hey! That's not how it works. This isn't a place where you choose; it's a place where you're judged."
"Oh, come on! Just let me go!"
I shouted like a child. Both the attendant and King Yama looked dumbfounded at my outburst.
Well, what's the worst that could happen? Die again?
But I'm already dead.
Since I'd already started yelling, I threw away my pride and started venting.
"To be honest, except for being born with a decent brain, I wasn't happy at all. I spent over 20 years stuck at a desk, studying like crazy, and in the end, I was stabbed to death by my wife's lover. Oh, and do you know why I died? Because my dick was small! Damn! Sorry, I got carried away."
"..."
"Turns out, my wife was a truly unfaithful woman. Watching the police investigation, I saw her affairs weren't just a love triangle; they were more like an octopus's legs. If she was dissatisfied with my performance in bed, she could've just asked for a divorce, but I guess she wanted to keep the money I was bringing in."
"..."
"Would anything really change if I was born again? You called it fate, right? I don't know if you've ever lived, but from my experience, fate is just bullshit."
I wandered the world as a ghost because I had lingering resentment.
As a vengeful spirit, I followed my child's mother everywhere in my soul form.
She denied all charges during the prosecution's investigation.
She admitted to cheating, but insisted she never told her lover to kill me.
But the investigation of the CCTV revealed everything that happened that day.
After I was stabbed and collapsed, my child's mother didn't call 119 or the police. Instead, she tried to secretly bury my body with her lover, making it look like I disappeared on a business trip.
In the end, she was arrested for instigating murder and abandoning a corpse.
Later, when I saw my swollen body being pulled from a reservoir near Gyeonggi-do, I burst into tears. I just hoped my parents wouldn't have to see me in such a miserable state…
I felt bad for the daughter I left behind, but even that attachment faded. My parents, after learning of my wife's affair, did a DNA test and found out she wasn't even my biological child.
"…Even the daughter I cherished so much wasn't mine. I'm an idiot. She didn't resemble me at all, but I never suspected a thing."
"..."
My lament went on, and King Yama and the attendant listened without a word. Was it pity?
"…I have no more regrets. Life only left me with terrible pain. And now you tell me to live again? How irresponsible is that? I can't. No, I won't. If gods have a conscience, you wouldn't do this to me."
[Hoho. What an impudent fellow. Yama, send him up.]
Suddenly, a booming voice echoed from nowhere.
What? Who was that?
"This is bad. The god is angry!"
"G-god?"
"The god watches over all judgments. He is everywhere and nowhere. You just blasphemed by questioning his conscience."
"N-no, I didn't mean to…"
So talking about conscience was blasphemy.
Damn it, couldn't you have warned me first?
"Th-then what happens to me now?"
"I don't know. Now we just follow his will. It's out of my hands."
Don't say such irresponsible things!
At that moment, the background went dark, and a spotlight shone from somewhere. In an instant, it felt like I'd been transported onto a theater stage.
"This is the Hall of Fate."
"W-what? Where am I?"
"It means the space of god."
"What's the Hall of Fate?"
"God."
"Who are you?"
It felt like the answer came just before I finished asking the question.
Is this possible? Getting an answer before I even ask?
Well, I guess it's possible if it's god.
"There's no need to speak. Just think, and it's enough."
"..."
"Listening to you, it seems you have many grievances. So, you say I have no conscience?"
"..."
"Listen carefully. I rolled the same dice for all humans. As a result, some were born with more talent and good looks, while others had to bear less ability and more misfortune. But this too is fate. Why can't you accept it?"
"..."
"Unfair? Didn't you also have a better brain than others? While others couldn't do it even after studying for 10 hours, you managed in just 3. That was the talent given to you."
"..."
"What? You'd rather have height or… a bigger dick? Hahaha. What a pitiful human. You can't be satisfied with what you have and only obsess over what you lack."
"..."
"Fine, then. Since you're so aggrieved, in your next life, I'll grant you a special privilege. Without changing anything else, I'll let you distribute your intelligence, height, and size however you want. The total is 300."
"How much is that in total?"
The question slipped out before I realized.
As always, god answered before I finished asking.
God spoke to me again.
"How you divide the 300 is entirely up to you. But you must also take full responsibility for the consequences. Understood?"
And so, my second life began.
***
I opened my eyes.
An unfamiliar ceiling. Judging by the size, it looked like a studio apartment.
Mirror, where's a mirror?
The small room only had a cheap wardrobe and a desk with a computer.
In the bathroom, I found a mirror above the sink.
"…Shit! It wasn't a dream?"
A curse slipped out before I could stop myself.
When I first woke up, I thought I'd just had a long dream.
I'd fallen into a deep sleep on the train to a conference…
But it was all real.
I had died once, and been born again. With a face I'd never seen before.
The guide who escorted me back to the living world said this:
"Normally, reincarnation means erasing all memories and starting anew. But in your case, by special favor of god, you've entered another person's body with all your past memories intact."
"You mean my soul has changed bodies? What about the person I replaced?"
"No need to worry. You'll be chosen from among those whose time has come anyway."
"Oh! That's a relief. By the way, god gave me a total of 300 to divide as I wish…"
"So, how do you plan to split it?"
───────────────────────────
Three Hundred 01
300.
This number must be divided among height, IQ, and, lastly, penis size. It's an ambiguous number not particularly big or small, but since it was calculated it based on my own total, I can't complain.
Where should I start? Right, let's decide on height first.
In my previous life, my height was 158 cm.
Back in elementary school, I was considered tall, but after my first year of middle school, I stopped growing and plummeted to the bottom. That's why I was especially greedy about height.
"I'll set my height to 185 cm."
It's 158 reversed.
"Alright. Height, 185 cm."
"And… IQ."
In my previous life, my IQ was 147.
A so-called genius brain, just shy of the top 0.02% in a normal distribution with a standard deviation of 15. But if I invest that much in IQ out of a total of 300, the balance won't work. Besides, I've already experienced a life with a smart brain.
"Let's… make it a hundred…"
"Be clear. Once you decide, you can't change it."
"Wait a moment. This is an important decision, so give me some time to think."
Honestly, I've always thought a person should have at least a three-digit IQ. Frankly, anything below 100 doesn't even feel human.
But if my height is 185 and I raise my IQ above 100, my penis will take a huge hit. But I have no intention of lowering my height. I'd rather lower my IQ.
"…I'll set it to 97."
"Understood. Intelligence quotient, ninety-seven."
The guide jotting down the numbers in his notebook somehow looks like he's mocking me.
"Then the rest is…"
"Yes. Please put the rest into my penis size."
"Eighteen for your penis. A good number."
"Sounds like an insult."
"Misunderstanding. Anyway, I'll try to find the most suitable candidate. If there's no perfect match, I may have to make some adjustments."
And then I opened my eyes to my current self.
Not 42-year-old Lee Jung-woo, but a completely different person's body.
"Hm, pretty good-looking?"
Maybe early twenties? My flawless, fair skin gives off a refined vibe. My gentle eyes might trigger maternal instincts, but my broad, Pacific-like shoulders and well-built upper body exude masculinity.
Not quite celebrity level, but attractive enough to make people turn for a second look.
Honestly, I only thought about the total of 300, so I didn't expect anything for my face or body. It feels like I got lucky.
"Nice. Very nice!"
Now that I look, the toilet seat seems lower than usual. Oh, right, it's because I'm 185 cm tall. So this is what the world looks like from above.
My looks are a perfect score out of a hundred.
Last thing to check: the size of my penis size.'
Just then, I felt the urge to pee, so I lifted the toilet lid and unzipped. The feel in my hand was quite hefty.
"Whoa!"
Even without an erection, it's too big to hold with one hand.
Unbelievable! I really was reborn just as I wanted.
"Jesus Christ! God, you're freaking awesome!"
As I praised God's power, I suddenly felt a zap of electricity on my wrist.
"Ow! What the…?"
Startled, I checked the spot. There was a device on my wrist, like a smartwatch.
"Who put a taser here…?"
Could it be that saying 'freaking' was blasphemy?
Even for a god, this is pretty petty… I tried to remove the device.
At that moment, a low voice echoed in my head.
[Starting synchronization now.]
"Huh?"
Suddenly, the device's display lit up, and a bar graph filled up. 50%, 80%, 95%… When it hit 100%, the voice spoke again in my head.
[Sync complete. Welcome, Master.]
Master? Me?
"What is this?"
[You can just think your questions. In short, I'm a program provided for the player's convenience.]
'Player? Does that mean me?'
[Correct. A player is someone blessed by God. Actually, it's quite rare to be blessed in this way, but anyway, as a player, you now have the right to use me.]
Suddenly, my mind was in turmoil.
So this wasn't just a simple reincarnation?
'By the way, you said it's rare? So there have been others?'
[Of course. Many people on Earth have been chosen as players. Among those you might know: Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Da Vinci, Newton, Kant, and most recently, Steve Jobs.]
'No way! So even in ancient times, there were devices like smartwatches?'
[The appearance changes to fit the era. For Alexander the Great, it was a sword; for Da Vinci, a pencil; for Kant, a pocket watch.]
'So this smartwatch look started with Steve Jobs?'
[No, back then it was a turtleneck sweater.]
'No wonder… he always wore one. Anyway, what exactly am I supposed to "play"?'
[Each player has their own goal. Some aim to build great empires, some to complete great philosophies, others to advance civilization. As a player, you must also set your own goal.]
A goal… Come to think of it, I didn't really have a life goal in my previous life.
Just wanted to live happily, I guess?
But I want to live differently this second time.
Didn't I redistribute my 300 stat points because I didn't want a life like before?
"I want to sleep with as many women as I want! That's my goal for this life!"
[…Are you serious?]
'Why? Do I have to pursue some grand goal like those great people? This is why I reincarnated.'
When I met God, I sincerely wished in my heart.
Please let me be born with a big dick in my next life.
And finally, my wish came true.
Now it's time to use it.
[Understood. Then I'll set missions to match that goal. Oh, come to think of it, there was one previous player with a similar goal.]
'Who?'
[Sir Giacomo Casanova of Venice.]
'Casanova? That womanizer Casanova? He was a player too?'
[Yes. There are more players than you'd think. Of course, their identities are only revealed after death…]
I learned something amazing.
Many of the great people I thought achieved their feats on their own were actually players blessed by God.
"By the way, what are these missions?"
[Missions are tasks to be completed. Also called quests.]
'Tasks? Like work assignments?'
[No, they're a bit different. There's no penalty for not completing missions. But if you do, you get appropriate rewards.]
The explanation continued.
[Rewards are mainly skills and items.]
'Skills? Items? This is starting to sound like a game system.'
[To be precise, the pioneering developer of RPGs was actually a player, and he borrowed this system.]
'Whoa! Awesome. Tell me more about skills.'
[Sure. For example, the "Info Window" skill lets you see a person's personal information on your smartwatch screen.]
'Personal information? Like a background check?'
[No. It includes not just age and name, but also their affection level, sexual desire, and even detailed seduction tips.]
'Wow! That's basically a superpower! Like mind reading… Is that really possible?'
The watch's explanation was astonishing.
If you complete randomly generated missions, you can get special skills or points to exchange for items.
Especially, items can be used in the real world—like x-ray glasses, fatigue recovery potions (sleep one hour, feel like you slept eight), or stamina boosters that put Viagra to shame.
'Amazing! So where do I buy items?'
[Press the crown on the side of the watch, and the display will switch to the market screen. It's like an online shopping mall, and you can use your accumulated points to buy items there.]
'Who delivers the items? Do they just drop from the sky?'
I recalled the guide pulling things out of thin air.
[No. There's a portal connected to the heavenly realm installed in this house. By default, it's the top drawer of your computer desk. You can change the setting anytime.]
I hurried over and opened the desk drawer. Since I hadn't bought anything yet, it was empty. It looked like an ordinary drawer, but after seeing supernatural powers from the afterlife, I had no choice but to believe it.
I spent a while browsing the market, looking at the list of items. Just reading the descriptions was amazing.
For example, the "Goblin Cap" for 5,000 points makes you invisible like a ghost the moment you put it on. Having been a ghost myself, I knew how convenient that would be.
And the "Coin of Truth" for 6,500 points: ask a question, toss it in the air, and if the answer is true, it always lands heads; if false, always tails.
If used well, these could be incredibly useful.
'So basically, if I complete missions, I get skills or points to buy these items? And the items get delivered to that drawer?'
[You've understood perfectly.]
Ohhh…
God, you not only blessed me, but even gave me this helper. I am eternally grateful. God, you're the best!