Death 01
Should I call this paranoia?
Lately, my wife's behavior has been suspicious.
Whenever I have a business trip out of town, she always gets ready to go out.
She puts on heavy perfume and wears lingerie I've never seen before.
"Who are you going to meet?"
"My high school friend, Sera. You met her once before, remember?"
"Oh, the one who runs a boutique?"
"Boutique? How old-fashioned… She's a designer. She even has a shop in Cheongdam-dong."
"Right, a designer. But didn't you see her just last week?"
"Yes. She's a close friend, so I see her often."
My wife doesn't even look at me as she sits in front of the mirror, absorbed in her makeup. Blue pearl eyeshadow, long curled mascara, and rather bold lipstick.
Seeing her put in so much effort, ominous thoughts start to creep in.
"…Aren't you going to be late for your train?"
"Oh, look at me spacing out."
I check the time and hurriedly slip on my shoes.
"You're coming back tomorrow evening, right?"
Her voice comes from the bedroom vanity.
She doesn't even see me off.
"Yeah. The conference schedule is a bit…"
"Let me know before you come back, so I can prepare dinner."
"Okay."
I stood outside the door, listening to the sound of the door lock clicking shut. I left the house on my own two feet, so why does it feel like I've been kicked out?
No way. I can't imagine my wife cheating. It must just be my imagination.
I got in the elevator heading to the parking lot.
My reflection appeared in the mirror, probably put there for people to check themselves when bored.
An expensive-looking suit, designer shoes, a luxury watch.
And a key holder engraved with a foreign car emblem.
I'm a fairly successful man. I'm a senior researcher in the R&D department of a major corporation, and I have a daughter.
My salary is substantial, and I own quite a bit of real estate. The land my grandfather left me was released from greenbelt status, and I hit the jackpot. With that money, I bought an apartment in Gangnam and two commercial buildings, all in my name.
Financially, I've never lacked anything, but honestly, I worried a lot when my child was born. What if she inherited my plain looks? Thankfully, my daughter is the spitting image of my beautiful wife. If she'd inherited my short stature and ugly face, I would have wanted to die.
And she's a daughter, not even a son.
That's right. I've never been confident about my looks.
I've always been unusually short.
My face is nothing to brag about. To put it bluntly, I'm ugly.
But I've always had a brilliant mind.
Someone once jokingly asked me which was higher, my height or my IQ. My height wins, but only just.
Anyway, thanks to my brains, I graduated from the most prestigious university in Korea, got my PhD abroad, and joined a major corporation as a researcher.
I got married a bit late, probably because I spent all my time studying at my desk and had no time for dating.
To be honest, it's not that I didn't date—I couldn't.
Who in this day and age would love a man who's not even 160cm tall? Sure, there are exceptions, but I wasn't one of them.
I'm not a materialist, but I'm a realist.
If it weren't for my inherited wealth and my title as a corporate researcher, I know I wouldn't have met such a beautiful wife.
But my biggest complex wasn't my height.
It was my manhood, which is about the size of a pinky finger.
Before it gets hard? No, that's the maximum size.
You can barely see it when it's not erect.
I even considered enlargement surgery, but the urologist shook his head and said,
Sir, no matter what, you can't create something from nothing.
It was a brutally honest answer, and all the more cruel for it.
On our wedding night, the look on my wife's face when she cautiously asked if I'd put it all in still haunts me.
Oh, God. Why did you give me such a brilliant mind and such a lacking body?
I parked my car at the train station and headed to the platform.
Just then, a KakaoTalk message came from my wife.
—Are you on your way? I'm heading out to meet Sera now. Good luck with your presentation today♥
Oh, a heart? I replied with all my love.
—Yeah, I'm just about to get on the KTX. Love you too.
How could I have doubted such a lovely wife…?
She's too good for me. I should always be grateful.
***
"You always send a KakaoTalk message while we're doing it, don't you?"
"Hah… Wonjun, you know I like this kind of thing, right? Ugh, it hurts."
"It hurts? Isn't it good?"
"It's… good. It hurts, but it's good."
"What are you saying… Well, I am pretty big. How do I compare to your husband?"
"Ha… Don't even mention it. If I'd known he was that small, I would've done anything to call off the wedding. I tried to act all proper and didn't even check our sexual compatibility while dating, and now… Ugh, go easy… I'm totally stuck with him."
"Proper? Hah. Yoonha, you? That's the funniest thing I've heard all year."
"What?"
"You call yourself proper when you call me over every other day? Don't I know you can't even sleep at night without a man?"
"Wonjun, are you really going to embarrass me like this?"
"Embarrassed? Would someone embarrassed be this wet? The sheets are soaked. What are you going to do about it?"
"Oh, whatever! Just shut up and keep going."
After their passionate time, the two lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling.
The man leaned against a cushion and lit a cigarette. On the nightstand, instead of an ashtray, there was an empty can.
"Sex-pier really is the truth."
"Sex-pier? What's that out of nowhere?"
"Hey! 'Sex' and 'smoke'—put together, it's 'sex-pier'."
"Oh my god! Wonjun, you're good at sex but your jokes are so old-man style. And stop smoking in the bedroom. My husband even goes all the way down to the parking lot to smoke."
"Hey! Am I on the same level as your husband? Just spray some Febreze. If he gets suspicious, just say you brought the smoke in from somewhere else."
"If you want to smoke that much, just get a motel."
"The kid's at kindergarten, your husband's on a business trip. Why waste money? Besides, I like your bed. The mattress is amazing."
"Ugh, I shouldn't even talk to you. I only let you get away with it because you're good in bed."
"Not because I'm bigger?"
"Is that even a question? That guy's dick isn't even a dick. He's just a money-making machine. I wish he'd just drop dead somewhere."
Wonjun stubbed out his cigarette in the empty can. The remaining drink sizzled as the ember touched it, sending up a wisp of smoke.
"…Do you really mean that?"
"Mean what?"
"That you wish your husband would just die."
Wonjun's gaze was more serious than she expected.
"Come on, I was just joking… Why are you being scary?"
"I'm not joking. Want me to look into it?"
"Look into what?"
"A hitman."
"Is there really such a person?"
"There are a lot of Chinese-Koreans these days. Give them fifty million won and they'll take care of someone for you. I know a few guys who can connect you. Want me to set it up?"
It was just a thoughtless comment, but when the suggestion became concrete, Yoonha's eyes wavered.
She'd married him for his wealth and his job as a corporate researcher. She'd caved to her parents' pressure and her friends' opinions and did it on a whim. She'd already had her fill of love.
She'd convinced herself it was time to accept reality.
His short height was fine. She could just wear flats. No matter what anyone said, a man's ability was what mattered.
So what if he was short?
His face was a mess, but she'd long since outgrown caring about looks. You can't live off a face, and as long as a man has a good personality, what's the problem?
But no matter how much she put up with, she couldn't stand his lackluster performance in bed.
Her husband didn't know, but Yoonha had been, as they say, a wild girl in her youth. After studying abroad, her body had changed, and her husband's tiny penis could never satisfy her.
What's the point of being rich and smart? Even being short and ugly would have been fine.
But living a lifetime without sexual satisfaction was something she just couldn't endure.
She'd had enough lovers in her single days to make two soccer teams, and from the start of her marriage, she'd secretly taken on lovers to fill her hunger. She'd never intended to be monogamous, so she felt no guilt.
It had been six years now.
She was a little surprised by her lover Wonjun's suggestion, but it wasn't as if she'd never wished her husband would just die somewhere. If he died, all his wealth would go to her. With money, starting over would be no problem.
Yoonha looked at him again and asked,
"…Are you sure there won't be any trouble? Isn't hiring a hitman a serious crime?"
"Ha—look at you. Acting like you're not interested, but you're tempted, aren't you? Let's think about it after another round. I'm ready to go again after that break."
"Oh, Wonjun, you're insatiable, aren't you? Acting up in broad daylight."
"Heh. You're one to talk. You've been wanting it since earlier."
The two became entangled again.