Elara's POV
I have barely slept. The thoughts of yesterday didn't let me get enough as it rings in my head like drumsticks beating hard against the skin of a drum.
I open my eyes, but instead of candlelight at me, it's the daylight shining through the windows.
"Elara." Velora's voice follows after. "You've woken up."
The strong scent of herbs comes strongly at me, just like the first night I found myself in this room. Just two nights ago.
"The scent of herbs," I mutter.
"Yes," she says. "It helps to clear your mind and relieves you. It's good, especially for a human like you."
A human in the midst of werewolves.
I sit up, staring at the door as though Cassian or Lyra can barge in at any time they deem fit. Sure they can do whatever they want.
I feel my chest tighten at this thought.
"You didn't have lunch," Velora says, her face smiling at me. "And I'm so sorry about that."
I shake my head. "I don't intend to eat. I'm not hungry."
"I'm sure you are."
"I'm not."
My stomach growls.
"You see." She winks. "Your stomach couldn't stand to watch you lie."
I hear a knock on the door. The door opens, and a girl of about my age, perhaps eighteen years old as I am, steps inside. She has a tray in her hands. There is a jug on it, two mugs, and another small plate containing… Is it sugar or some kind of sweetener?
I have no idea, but from where she stands, the smell of coffee hits me.
"Morning tea," Velora says. "And feel free to enjoy."
She places the tray on the table beside the bed, and gestures for the girl, or a maid, to leave. She doesn't ask if I care for it before filling one of the mugs and passing it to me.
"This will strengthen you, make you feel alive again."
"I don't want to."
Her brows furrow, a slight frown already taking a place on her face. "Why?"
She looks into the mug, takes a sip from it, and gives me a kind of frustrated look.
"This isn't bad. Everyone takes this, even your late parents–"
She stops herself. Then covers up with a smile.
"Just have it."
"Concerning my late parents… you knew them, didn't you?"
She sighs, turning her eyes from me. She places the mug on the tray. And just like that, silence takes over the room. She won't speak, and all I do is wait, staring at the back of her head.
She sighs a second time. No words leave her lips.
"You don't care to tell me about them… do you?"
She doesn't answer.
Her silence only makes me travel down memory lane. The scene of my parents' death takes the broader part of my mind. It always does come to haunt me, always comes to steal the little ease I always struggle to feel.
But this time is different.
It doesn't come because I feel a bit at ease. It comes to add more weight to the uneasiness already pricking me like needles, and pressing down heavy on me. I can't carry it, but I can't drop it either. It is stuck with me.
I hate this feeling.
"I saw them…" My voice is starting to turn into a sob. "I saw their dead eyes staring at me… in their pool of blood…"
My eyes aren't tired of letting out tears, but it feels the strain it causes. It's peppery but they can't help but release it at every call of my emotions. My emotions wouldn't stop calling for them.
The tears come warm on my cheeks, washing the dirt, but adding extra weight.
"Elara…" Velora raises my hands from touching my thighs.
This is when I feel a slight sting, but I don't know the cause.
"What… what are you doing?"
I look at my thighs. Blood. It has stained the gown I'd put on, and I notice the fracture on my skin. My fingers have been digging into my skin and I didn't notice?
"Don't do anything!" She orders.
She grabs a towel from the table to place on my thighs, and takes another to clean my fingers. But after she cleans just my right hand. She stops, shaking with a ragged breath.
She's swallowing her saliva down her throat, and takes a step from me.
"You did this to yourself…" she says.
She scans the room like she's expecting to find someone standing in a spot who might have done this. But there's no one. It's just her and I. My left hand is still stained, then who else?
"You hurt yourself… intentionally." Her voice is low. "You weren't forced, but you did this to yourself… Oh Elara…"
"I didn't…"
"I need to dress it before there's an infection."
"I–"
She storms out of the room before I can make a sentence.
Soon, over a minute later, she returns with a box that has a cross sign drawn on each side of it. She opens it and brings out a cotton wool and a bluish substance.
All these… What for?
When she is done cleaning up the wound, she finally breathes a sigh of relief.
"The moment I saw you." Her fingers go through my hair like a comb. "I knew it was you."
"It was me?"
She nods. "And it was a huge grief that Alpha Cassian wanted you as his cure." She seems to lose focus trying to express herself like a long poem is set before her to read. "Oh! How I would have been mourning by now if Cassian hadn't decided to stop."
"Velora?"
"Oh…"
She sits on the bed, leaning my body against her shoulder. She goes on to pat my back. I am lost in this action of hers.
"About my parents…"
"Not now."
"Why?"
"Well, I knew your parents. It's time you ate something."
I leave her arms to lie in the bed, facing upward, and for a start, she stares intently at me, trying to read through me.
"I'm not hungry," I say.
She remains mute. It becomes my turn to try to read through her. It has always been my turn, but I can't get a grasp about her.
The supposed tea we are supposed to drink is left untouched, probably cold by now. She must have lost interest in it. Silence follows between us, and this silence is strong, neither of us saying anything to each other.
It is just our thoughts.
"He insists I'm his mate." I break the silence. "And… And I don't know what that should be about."
"What do you feel about that?" She wears that eager look on her face again.
"What am I supposed to feel?"
She leans her chin on her knuckles, muttering words I can't hear.
"Velora?"
"Well…"
Is she trying to avoid speaking? Even for something that doesn't involve my late parents? Or does it involve them?
All these gestures and her hesitation… How am I supposed to trust her?
"You have loads of information to tell me, don't you?" I press on. "You said bit by bit… You have lots of explaining to do."
She nods, but takes more than a minute before attempting to speak. "Yes, but firstly, don't believe Alpha Cassian. Don't believe he calls you his mate."
"Okay? Explain?"
"You're human, and he's a werewolf."
"I know that already."
"Yeah, you do know that."
I frown. "You don't want to tell me?"
"Of course, I'm already doing so."
But I can't be convinced she wants to, her lips should have been moving by now, and so many things should have been revealed already.
"Is that all there is to know?" I ask after more than a minute has passed.
"Actually… For now…"
The door creaks open, and it draws out attention to it.
"Lyra…" Velora calls out. "What…"
She strolls inside like it's a normal thing to do. Yes, it's just like I thought earlier.
"You've been outside, peeking on us."
Lyra won't speak.
She has her eyes on me, worse than she did last night. I feel intimidated, but I don't want to show it. When I'm starting to think her gaze is tough, she lets tears roll out of her eyes.
She hasn't recovered from yesterday.
Or it isn't just about yesterday. What if her whole life has been tied to Cassian? What if she has planned an unforeseen future with him, but in just a moment, in a split second, finds it broken?
Am I to blame her or Cassian?
I can't count myself to be involved in this.
"El… Elara." Her voice stutters.
I don't know how to respond to all these.