As days passed, I strolled through the park every day wondering why I didn't see Dohyun at all. Not that it matters—he was a jerk last time. So why do I even care? Maybe because he said he wanted to learn how to smile, and I actually tried to help him. But just when I thought we were getting somewhere, he gave up on me. Or maybe on himself. Maybe, just maybe, he's suffering. That's why he can't smile.
Home wasn't any better. Dad started coming home late, reeking of stress, baggy eyes, and some bruises, the kind of man who laughed off trouble, who'd pat me on the back and say, "We'll figure it out, kid." Now he barely even looked at me. Especially after that phone call… and the incident at the park.
I tried talking to him yesterday, but he brushed past me like I was a stranger. Silent treatment—that's his new favorite weapon. And it hurts. It hurts soo bad.
Tonight, I couldn't take it anymore.
"Dad," I said as he walked in, "I need to talk. Right now."
He didn't even glance at me. "I'm tired, Jihwa. Not now."
"No. Now." My voice cracked, louder than I intended. "You've been ignoring me for days. Did I do something wrong?"
"Wrong? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He said while looking at something else.
"Well…" I said to dad. "What did I do wrong? Is it about the park incident?"
He finally stopped, eyes narrowing, jaw tight. "Wrong? You've been playing happy family with them—and you ask if you did something wrong?"
My stomach dropped. "What? You mean… her? Dad, I just well….I just saw her in the park—"
"And what? You decided to spend the day with them? Smiling, laughing? Like I don't exist?" His voice rose, sharp and raw.
"It wasn't like that!" I shouted back. "I wasn't betraying you! I just… I didn't want to be rude to her kids. They're innocent. Just like me!"
His expression hardened. "Don't you dare compare yourself to them."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Dad, you're being unfair. I wasn't choosing sides—I only have one dad, and it's you. Why can't you see that?"
For a moment, something flickered in his eyes. Hurt. Fear. But then it vanished under the same cold mask.
"I don't want to talk about this," he muttered and turned away.
"But I do!" My voice cracked again. "You're mad at me for something I didn't even do, and I can't handle you shutting me out. I'm still your kid, Dad. Don't push me away just because you're in pain."
He froze at the doorway, shoulders trembling. But he didn't turn around.
"Go to bed, Jihwa," he said quietly, and walked out.
The slam of his door echoed louder than any argument could.
I didn't give up. Even after he slammed his door that night, I couldn't let things stay like this.
The next evening, I waited in the living room, holding the TV remote I hadn't even turned on. When Dad finally came in, his hair was a mess, his eyes bloodshot. He looked like someone who hadn't slept in days.
"Dad," I said carefully, standing up. "Can we talk? Please? Just listen to me once."
He dropped his briefcase with a thud. "Jihwa, I told you—"
"No!" I stepped in front of him. "You're mad at me, and I don't even understand why. You're shutting me out, and I can't—"
His voice cracked into a shout: "Why can't you laugh with me like you laugh with them?"
I froze. "What…?"
"Why are you always so worried? So distant?" His fists clenched at his sides, shaking.
"When I see you smiling at her kids, when I see you happy with them—it's like I don't even exist to you anymore!"
I stared at him, stunned, the words tangling in my throat. "Dad, that's not true—"
"If you love them so much…" His voice wavered, breaking into something softer, rawer. "…then just stay with them. I don't mind."
My heart dropped to the floor. "Dad—no, that's not—"
"I said I don't mind!" His eyes brimmed with tears as his voice shattered. "All I ever do is bring pain in your life. I'm such a terrible father so just go find another family to smile with, then go! As long as you are happy then I am."
I couldn't speak. My lips parted, but no sound came out. The air felt heavy, like if I moved too quickly, everything would break.
He turned his head away, and the tears he'd been holding back finally spilled down his cheeks. I'd never seen him cry like this. Not once.
"Dad…" My voice was barely a whisper. I reached out, but he stepped back, shaking his head.
For a long moment, all I could do was stand there, helpless, as my father—the man who always told me to be strong—crumbled in front of me yet again.
But I couldn't just stand there, I just had to do something.
"Dad…" I said in a low voice and took a step closer.
"Don't," he muttered hoarsely, swiping at his face. "Don't look at me like this. I look pathetic."
"You're not—"
"Stop!" His voice cracked again. "I don't need your pity."
I froze, hands trembling at my sides. I wanted to hug him, tell him he wasn't pathetic, tell him he was the only dad I'd ever want… but the words stuck in my throat like thorns.
So I just stood there, helpless, as he turned away from me, shoulders shaking, trying to hide from my eyes. And for the first time in my life, I was afraid that my dad would break.
I ran from the house as fast as I could, barely seeing where I was going. The tears blurred everything. My heart aches, my lungs burn.
Why does Dad think I hate him just because I spent time with Minji and her kids? Why does Dohyun always act like I annoy him? Maybe "they" were right… Maybe being a beta really is pathetic. I want to be stronger. I want to be useful. I want to be… an alpha.
The ache in my chest grew too heavy to carry. My legs gave out, and I collapsed onto the rough floor. I didn't even care that it was late at night — if a car came, so what? I just curled up in the middle of the empty street, pressing my forehead against my scraped knees, and cried until my whole body shook. The gravel bit into my skin, sharp and cold, but I barely felt it over the pain inside me.
Then I felt something warm — an arm draped around my shoulders, steady and firm. I felt comfortable in their embrace. Before I could turn to see who it was they spoke.
"Hey, shining star," a low voice murmured near my ear. "Why are you all upset?"
I froze and looked up. "D-Dohyun?" My voice cracked. "What… what are you doing here?"
He crouched beside me, his face half-shadowed by the streetlight. "I was running an errand," he said quietly, almost like he didn't want anyone else to hear. "Then I saw you crying. And… I don't like it. I don't like it when you cry."
My heart twisted. "You don't?"
"No," he said bluntly. "It bothers me. So I figured I'd do something about it."
Without thinking, I reached up and touched his cheek, my palm trembling. "Thanks, Dohyun. You… you make me feel better, even when you don't try to."
His expression didn't change, but his dark eyes softened a little. "May I ask why you're crying?"
I looked away, ashamed. "Just… personal stuff. Complicated. You wouldn't get it."
"Huh but the way you smile, I thought you had the perfect smile." His voice was calm.
I shook my head, forcing a weak laugh. "It's always something, isn't it? People think I've got a perfect life, but… everyone has pain. Everyone hides it behind smiles."
He tilted his head, studying me with those dead-serious eyes. "I thought you smiled because you were happy. I didn't think you had anything to cry about."
"That's the thing," I whispered. "You never really know someone's story unless you ask."
A beat of silence passed, then he looked down at the pavement. "…I'm sorry."
I gave him a small, watery smile. "Do you… still want to learn how to smile? I think it'd suit you. You're too emotionless all the time. How would you get a girlfriend?"
He hesitated, his lips twitching almost like he wanted to try it right then but didn't know how. "…Y-yeah. I do…but a girlfriend? I don't know."
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and nodded. "Good. Then I'll keep teaching you."
"And I'll keep making sure you don't cry like this again," he said suddenly, his voice low but fierce.
My breath hitched. "That's… a promise?"
"Yeah." He looked right at me. "A promise."
"Together we'll get through this. Let's heal together?" I smiled at him but he looked upset.
"I'm sorry about my attitude, I was upset. Let's meet here everyday at this time?" He asked.
"Don't you think it's a bit too late?"
"Uhmm….I'm quite a busy person."
"Oh okay."
He stared at me for quite some time. Then he finally opened his mouth.
"Why is your half face always covered by your hair?"
I didn't feel like telling him. We aren't even that close. "I'll tell you another time."
"Okay."
Wow, he didn't even pressure me into questioning me. I liked that thing about him.