Chapter 14 - Local Man Attempted to Steal a Corpse, Claimed He Was Hungry
POK POK POK
The sound of the knife hitting the cutting board resonated through the cube's speakers. The live broadcast of the impromptu cooking show captured everyone's attention.
Rubella recognized the ability. She shook her head.
"That pink elf is at it again. What is she up to this time?"
Among the crowd, the Night Watcher team members also remembered Parita. They raised glasses and cheered.
"Hey! The pink girl is back!" Appendix cackled.
"Pink girl?" Some adventurers were still unfamiliar with the term. They got curious. "Who is that? Someone famous?"
"Very famous. Remember the self-proclaimed toilet goddess?"
"…"
Some adventurers remembered Parita right away, while those who weren't present during the debut were left confused.
Since the nickname might imply indecent topics, Appendix covered for Parita. "Don't take this the wrong way. She's a great woman and perfect housewife material, not that kind!"
Rubella added. "She's also a good merchant. She sold me some good perfume and a cleaning magic tool."
"Oh!"
The crowd got more interested in the livestream. Lupus was also surprised by the testimony.
"What about the basket under the thing?" Lupus pointed at the mysterious glowing basket under the broadcasting screens.
Rubella smirked and tempted the crowd. "If you put a gold coin in there, you send a message to the elf girl. She will also respond to you."
"…I don't need to spend my precious gold coins to talk to a woman." Lupus frowned.
"Your money, your choice." Rubella snickered and fetched her coin pouch. Like a nouveau riche, she dropped a gold coin and spoke to the floating screen.
"Miss Kestrel, what are you doing?"
A few seconds later, Parita paused and replied. Even so, the camera lingered on the cutting board, focusing on the thinly sliced pork.
'Oh, sorry for the lack of introduction. Thank you for the super chat, Rubella. What am I doing? I'm cooking my breakfast.'
"I know you're cooking, but do elves eat meat?" Rubella smiled wryly.
'I've been hearing that a lot lately. Anyway, I'm a meat-eater. Please stop asking me why I'm eating meat. My stomach, my mouth, and my food.'
All the elves in the guildhall gave Parita a weird look, disturbed and disgusted. On the other hand, beast folks, humans, dwarves, and highlanders smirked.
"You sounded annoyed." Rubella didn't know why Parita was on the defensive. She thought she had offended her.
'Probably because I haven't eaten anything. It's late, so…'
"Understandable. May I ask what kind of meat that is? It seems… huge."
'Oh, it's a game I found on the way home. This mofo charged at me and tried to eat me, so I launched the bozo to the moon. The rest is history.'
"…"
Rubella couldn't understand Parita's unique vocabulary, metaphors, and speech patterns. However, her instinct told her that Parita didn't mean to provoke anybody.
"So you killed it? Did you see if it has any human features? For example, a monster with human limbs or a human face?"
'Oh, that creepy monster has a nasty human face, indeed. For a second when I encountered it, I thought it came straight from Kentaro Muira's manga. I was almost reminded of that PTSD story.'
Rubella still didn't know what Parita was referring to, but she figured out the main idea. Parita had killed one of the Hungers. She looked at the monster head, which Sparrow's party had brought.
It had a human face.
She turned to Sparrow's party next. They seemed suspicious.
Meanwhile, Sparrow facepalmed. She wished she could close Parita's big mouth.
Rubella caught the subtle tell. She probed the elven knight without revealing their secret.
"Miss Sparrow, how will you distribute the credit and the rewards?"
"…Just give us the rewards. We'll handle the distribution later. As for the guild credit, put it in our party's name." Sparrow's voice cracked.
Rubella gave Sparrow a meaningful look. She nodded in understanding.
"I see. Let's finish the procedure quickly so that we can observe what our pink elf is doing."
"…Thanks."
Rubella and the guild's crew worked together, moving the carriage to the crematory located behind the guild to dispose of the monster's blood and body. Lupus took over the document process and handed Sparrow the bounty reward.
Lupus carried a chest box containing a thousand gold coins and put it on the ground. He opened the lid and asked Sparrow.
"You wanna count?"
Sparrow gulped and shook her head. "No. We trust you."
"Aight. Keep it safe. Don't lose it."
"…Thanks."
Sparrow closed the chest and carried it on her shoulder. Parrot, Goldfinch, and two other members smiled in glee and opened a path for their leader.
However, when Sparrow was about to walk past the broadcast screens and the donation basket, she paused and dropped the chest box on the floor. She opened it and fetched a gold coin, throwing it in the donation basket.
Sparrow then asked Parita.
"Is that meat what I think it is?"
Parita flinched for a moment and coughed. Her voice shook a little.
'It is what it is.'
"ARE YOU FOR REAL?! DON'T EAT THE HUNGER, YOU FOOL!"
As soon as Sparrow's voice dropped, the onlooker crowd was shocked. Sars, Appendix, and Lupus rushed over and yelled at the screens.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IS THAT MEAT FROM THE MONSTER?!"
"DON'T EAT IT, YOU DUMB ELF!"
"PURIFY YOUR HANDS! DON'T TOUCH IT!"
Their screams were so loud that everybody was taken aback. Still, they agreed with the three adults.
Within this world, the Hunger's blood was widely known to be poisonous. Anyone who made contact with it would become "bloodscorched" and change into one of them within three to four days. Each day, the patient's blood vessels and skin became increasingly red, eventually matching the color of blood. On the final day, they turned dark purple or black.
However, Parita's skin remained light. No signs of infection had appeared yet.
Sparrow asked further.
"Did you touch the blood?"
'Nope. I have my own way of draining the blood without touching it.'
Everybody was relieved. Still, the monster meat was not food. Everybody grew concerned.
"You shouldn't be eating that." Sparrow warned her.
'It's fine. As long as it is cooked, it's not that dangerous. In fact, it is very nutritious!'
"DON'T EAT IT!"
'ME EAT IT! ME STARVING!'
Sparrow grew restless. She turned to her party members and ordered the girls. "We're going home! We'll drag that little brat out here for checkups!"
The girls' team didn't forget to carry the gold box. They rushed out of the building and dashed south, hurrying home.
The crowd watched the all-woman party leave. They returned to the cooking show, their expressions a mixture of fear and concern.
Minutes later, the water was boiled. Parita added rib bones to the pot, and then she added some chopped vegetables. Having stirred the boiling soup for a few minutes, she then put the sliced pork in.
The men in the guild had almost no experience in cooking. They watched the scene with curiosity and growling stomachs. Some of them salivated or gulped, as it had been hours since breakfast.
"Waitress! I need some horse soup over here!"
Finally, one of the adventurers started ordering food, unable to resist the stimulation.
"A roasted lamb leg for me!"
"Two carrot salads at my table too!"
"Hot potatoes! I want hot potatoes!"
Food orders spiked even though it was not the right time for lunch. Moreover, some of the adventurers already had breakfast.
While everybody was drooling, Parita commented with a frustrated tone.
'I wish I had salt, sauces, or MSG.'
Nobody understood what MSG or sauces were, but they understood salt. In this world, salt, sugar, spices, and other condiments were so valuable that a small amount could cost hundreds of gold coins. They were exclusively in the hands of the nobles.
Those who were experienced in cooking smiled bitterly at Parita's comment.
"A bone soup is enough for seasoning."
"Bet she came from a fancy family."
The soup soon had a distinctive color. Parita added more sliced meat to the pot, and it cooked instantly. However, the cooked pork wasn't white or light brown like the usual ones. They turned gold.
"Wait… gold meat?"
Everybody frowned. Some adventurers fetched their gold coins and compared them with the pork on the screen.
Parita scooped the cooked piece of pork from the pot and taste-tested it. As soon as it reached her tongue, the rich sensation of wild boar spread throughout her mouth.
'MMM!!'
Parita blushed. Even though it was not seasoned, the pork was sweet and soft. She wiggled her arms in excitement before she poured more sliced pork pieces into the boiling pot. In secret, she put the raw shoulder meat into her inventory because she couldn't eat it all.
One after another, the sliced pork pieces turned golden. The soup in the pot turned yellowish and emitted white smoke.
Every spectator's expression was complicated. They wished they could smell and observe the cooking in person. Moreover, they wondered what it would taste like, even though it was monster meat.
The temptation inspired Appendix. Even though he was a seasoned adventurer, he couldn't resist the experiment. He rushed to the back building behind the guild building. He discovered the carriage holding the monster's head, which was awaiting cremation. Appendix approached an officer, who was in charge of handling the corpse.
The officer was in a plague doctor outfit. His thick leather gloves and clothes were enchanted with holy magic, which repelled all foul curses and disease pathogens around him. The doctor dispelled the airtight barrier and casually moved the giant boar head.
Appendix stopped the officer.
"Sir Neutrophils. Can I have a moment?"
Neutrophils, the cremation officer, a retired paladin, stared at Appendix. "What are you doing here? This place is off-limits. Go back before you get bloodscorched."
"Sir! I know it sounds strange, but can you perhaps experiment with the carcass? Could you cut a small piece of meat and boil it?"
"…And what are you going to do with it? Eat it?"
"…Yes."
"Get lost before I personally bloodscorch you!!"
In anger, Neutrophils unleashed his holy magic, engulfing the entire cremation center with brilliant gold light. When the light touched Appendix, his skin sizzled as impurity, and all his hair burned.
Appendix screamed in pain and scrambled out of the cremation center. He abandoned the idea of eating the meat and ran away from the cremation center.
Neutrophils snorted and waved his hand, crushing the monster's head into smaller pieces and throwing the giant cremation chamber without touching anything. However, he left a piece of the monster alone
The officer raised his finger. Water from a bucket nearby floated and gathered into a round mass and bubbled, boiling. He threw the piece of cheek meat into the boiling water.
In seconds, the meat turned gold.
Beneath the plague doctor mask, the retired paladin frowned deeply. He threw the cooked meat into the cremation chamber.
"Damn morons. Sure, you can eat it, but who's gonna cook it correctly? They're gonna swallow the blood by accident and get bloodscorched! An idiot is gonna turn into a monster and get the entire town infected!"
Neutrophils picked up the water bucket, flung it at the wall in a rage, and muttered under their breath for several minutes. His deep voice echoed throughout the building, followed by occasional flashes of holy light. He swore that he would murder anybody who brought this topic up again.