📢 Author's Note / Bonus Chapter Target
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Without a shred of his former dignity, Yu Xiaogang lay on the ground, grabbed one of the white radishes, and began stuffing it into his mouth with childlike glee.
"Delicious, delicious!" he giggled.
Seeing its master enjoying the meal so much, Luo San Pao seemed to take it as a sign of encouragement and promptly created a fresh supply of white radishes for him. The two of them worked together with a grotesque and horrifying synergy.
"Ugh!"
The sight was too much for the onlookers. A wave of gagging and retching spread through the crowd of students.
"That's disgusting!"
"It's absolutely revolting!"
These students had seen strange things in their short lives, but nothing could have prepared them for this. It was a scene of such profound absurdity and filth that it would surely be burned into their memories forever. Not even the well-traveled Flender and Zhao Wuji had ever witnessed, let alone heard of, something so bizarre.
Zhao Wuji, still a nearly invisible silhouette of black, nudged the academy's dean with his elbow. "Boss Flender," he whispered, his voice strained. "That… Are you sure you're not going to stop Grandmaster?"
Flender snapped out of his horrified trance. He had to stop him. Even if it was already too late, every piece Yu Xiaogang didn't eat was a small victory.
"Xiaogang, stop eating! You can't eat this!" Flender shouted, rushing over to stop his friend from gorging himself further. He cautiously reached out to grab Yu Xiaogang's arm, making sure to avoid his hand, which was now caked in filth.
"I want to eat, I want to eat," Yu Xiaogang chuckled, his eyes vacant and unfocused. He looked at Flender with a broad, idiotic grin. "Do you want to eat too? Here you go! I'll treat you to some delicious white radishes."
Yu Xiaogang grabbed a fresh piece and tried to shove it directly into Flender's mouth.
Flender recoiled in terror, scrambling backward away from the offered treat.
"You actually won't eat it?!" Yu Xiaogang's cheerful expression turned into one of childish anger. "I'll make you eat it! Luo San Pao! Fart like thunder, shaking heaven and earth!"
He chanted the familiar words, and his first spirit ring instantly enveloped Luo San Pao. The creature's chubby body began to swell rapidly as it took aim at Flender.
BANG!
A clap of thunder exploded from behind Luo San Pao. But something was wrong. The attack wasn't aimed at Flender.
BOOM!
The full force of the fart exploded directly onto Yu Xiaogang's body. Luo San Pao's eyes had been afflicted with a peculiar curse: they went blind whenever it opened them. The more it tried to see, the wider it opened its eyes; the wider it opened them, the less it could see. In its confused, blind state, it had fired directly at its own master.
Amidst the booming sound, countless white radishes splattered all over Yu Xiaogang's face and chest. But he wasn't the only victim. Flender, who thought he was at a safe distance, quickly learned he was wrong. He was fast, but not faster than the blast radius of Luo San Pao's signature attack. His pristine clothes and body were instantly covered in the vile substance.
[Resentment from Flender +50!]
"SON OF A BITCH!" Flender roared, his voice trembling with pure rage.
It would have been better if he had kept his mouth shut. The moment he opened it to scream, two pieces of white radish, with uncanny accuracy, flew directly into his mouth.
Flender's eyes bulged in utter horror.
[Resentment from Flender +99!]
"Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!" he spat repeatedly, desperately trying to rid his mouth of the taste. "Erlong, I'm defiled! I am now issuing a new school rule! Effective immediately, Luo San Pao is permanently forbidden from appearing anywhere within Shrek Academy!"
After delivering his frantic decree, Flender activated his own Spirit and fled at top speed, presumably to go clean himself for the next several hours.
"Eh? Leaving already?" the cursed Grandmaster called after him. "Do you want to eat white radishes? I'll give you some to eat! They're so delicious!"
That one sentence was the final straw. Panic erupted. The remaining teachers and students scattered in every direction, desperate to get away from the deranged man and his offerings.
"Quickly, back to your dorms!" Ye Yin shouted to the fleeing crowd. "Lock your doors tightly!"
Even Tang San, loyal to a fault, swallowed hard and sprinted towards his dorm without a second thought. This was too terrifying to handle.
Ye Yin ran as fast as he could, not stopping until he was safely inside his own room. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily.
"Thankfully, I'm fine," he panted, relieved to have escaped the chaos.
Suddenly, he felt a poke on his lower back from behind.
Ye Yin froze, a shiver of pure dread running down his spine.
"Who?" he whispered.
A cheerful, vacant voice answered from right behind him. "Grandmaster."
Ye Yin's blood ran cold.
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