"Oh, by Merlin's beard, I'm giving him a full ten points for that!"
Lockhart was positively buzzing with excitement, more thrilled than when his books flew off the shelves. Dudley's spot-on answer, combined with Lockhart's self-proclaimed brilliance as "Professor Jerry," had him practically adopting Dudley as his number-one fan and confidant.
What could be better than knowing a far superior author admires your work?
Lockhart clapped Dudley on the shoulder, showering him with praise. "This class has been full of surprises, so I've got a little something special for you all." With a theatrical flourish, he bent down behind the desk and hauled up a large cage covered with a cloth. He set it on the table, lowering his voice dramatically.
"From this moment on, you'd better be on guard! My job is to teach you how to fend off the darkest creatures known to the wizarding world! In this classroom, you'll face the most terrifying things. But rest assured, as long as I'm here, no harm will come to you."
"I only ask that you stay calm."
As if on cue, the cage rattled violently, hinting at something truly fearsome trapped inside.
A few young witches and wizards instinctively shrank back, though most stared with wide-eyed curiosity.
"I must ask you not to scream," Lockhart whispered, his voice hushed and urgent. "It might provoke them!"
The classroom fell silent, everyone holding their breath.
With a dramatic flourish, Lockhart whipped off the cloth, revealing the contents. "Freshly caught Cornish Pixies!" he announced with exaggerated flair.
Gryffindor: ???
Slytherin: ???
Cornish Pixies—a type of pixie, small humanoid creatures about eight inches tall with iron-blue skin and sharp, mischievous faces. They were notorious pranksters, delighting in all sorts of tricks and chaos.
Dangerous? Not quite as bad as a Fwooper, perhaps. But harmless? Hardly. These little menaces had strength far beyond their size. A couple of them could easily hoist an underage wizard into the air, and when it came to wreaking havoc, they were second to none.
The young witches and wizards in the room, however, didn't seem fazed. To them, Cornish Pixies were on the same level as goblins or Fwoopers—nothing to worry about. A simple charm could handle them.
One Gryffindor even let out an unapologetic snicker.
"What? You think this is funny?" Lockhart snapped, clearly miffed at their reaction. These pixies had cost him a pretty Galleon, bought specifically to "surprise" the class.
But the surprise was more of a dud.
"Fine, then!" Lockhart huffed, seeing their lack of concern. He flung open the cage door. "Let's see how you handle them!"
Chaos erupted. The pixies shot out like tiny rockets, zooming around the room and tearing it apart. Glass shattered, books were ripped to shreds, and cabinets were flipped upside down.
Anything in large numbers can be trouble, and Cornish Pixies were no exception.
Within minutes, most of the students had ducked under their desks for cover.
"Come on, help me round them up! They're just pixies!" Lockhart called, trying to regain control. He rolled up his sleeves, striking a heroic pose, and waved his wand. "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
Nothing happened. The spell was a complete flop.
Hermione, one of the few still standing, slapped her forehead in exasperation. "I knew it. He's utterly useless."
As Lockhart's failed spell hung in the air, one pixie darted forward, snatched his wand, and zoomed off. A few others joined in, grabbing the wand and waving it wildly. Purple sparks shot out, setting off a miniature fireworks display in the classroom.
"Maybe that's a side effect," Neville muttered, swatting away a pixie that got too close.
Ron chimed in, "Look, now they've got a weapon!"
"What do we do? Leave? Or help this idiot?" someone asked.
Dudley answered with action. He clapped his hands together, and a faint glow emanated from the transmutation circle on the back of his hand. The classroom walls, ceiling, and floor seemed to come alive. Giant hands made of stone and wood sprouted from every surface, snatching the rampaging pixies with ease.
One moment, the pixies were wreaking havoc; the next, they were caught in a vice-like grip.
Wandless magic!
Before Lockhart could say a word, Dudley clapped his hands again. A new cage materialized on the desk, and the stone and wooden hands stuffed the pixies inside before melting back into the walls, ceiling, and floor.
One hundred and thirty-two pixies, not one more, not one less.
"Professor Lockhart, your wand," Dudley said, handing it back with a calm smile. "You planned this as a practical lesson, didn't you?"
"Hm?" Lockhart blinked, momentarily caught off guard, then quickly recovered. "Of course! Exactly right! Well done, Mr. Dursley, for seeing through my plan."
He turned to the students peeking out from under their desks, adopting a disappointed tone. "I'm rather let down by the rest of you. So many of you failed to grasp my deeper intentions. Thankfully, Mr. Dursley understood."
His expression, his tone, his sheer audacity—it was as if he'd meant for this to happen all along. Even the thickest castle walls couldn't rival his nerve.
"For that, Mr. Dursley earns another ten points!" Lockhart declared with a straight face, and a surprising number of students bought it, convinced he'd planned the chaos.
Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of class.
"Well then, Professor Lockhart, we'll be off," Dudley said, motioning to Hermione and the others. He picked up the cage and headed for the door.
As he walked away, the desk he'd used for the cage was noticeably shorter than the others. Without the Philosopher's Stone, equivalent exchange couldn't create something from nothing.
"Where are you taking them?" Lockhart asked reflexively, still reeling from Dudley's display of wandless magic.
No doubt about it—that was the mark of a truly exceptional wizard.
He might even be better than me, Lockhart thought, with an astonishing lack of self-awareness.
"They're my spoils now, Professor," Dudley replied over his shoulder, his voice slow but commanding. "What I do with my spoils is my business."
Under the gaze of his magical data eye, the pixies' heads were marked with bold, glowing words: Tameable.
It was time to put his Care of Magical Creatures skills to work.