"Bob, I'm here to help," I say as I look around searching for a crowbar or something that might help me open the cage. It was such a large storeroom filled with containers I thought there would be tools lying all over the place, but that wasn't the case.
"Hey, are you going to open the cage or what?" The elf woman scoffed.
"You're elves, right?" I asked and the woman looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world. "don't you have magic? Maybe you could..."
"I knew humans were stupid, but this is too much. If we could use magic we wouldn't be in this situation. Mortimer trapped us in a cage that seals our mana and hasn't come to feed us in two weeks." At that moment I remembered that among the returnee's seized items there was an odd looking key.
"If only I had a sword." I mutter in frustration.
"There's one in your inventory right now." The system informed at the same time a sword appeared in my hand as if by magic. I was left in shock not by how it just appeared, but rather the sword itself. My shock seemed to be shared by the elves who seemed to recognize the blade as they all flinched back, all but Loraina who stayed still without taking her eyes out of me.
"So you killed him." She said in a whisper.
"I took it from that guy." I mutter as I inspect the pristine looking sword on my hand. I ask the elves to stand back and I focus on using the slash skill on a corner. Two cuts in parallel horizontal lines and the bars were down, but the prisoners only exited their cage after Loraina did so.
"You're not as incompetent as you look." She admitted.
Not long after a ship came to rescue the prisoners. Later I found out that the ship was taken over by the Mortimer, the returnee. That was his fantasy name, the one he used on the other world. If you ask me, choosing such an ordinary name for an adventure in another world is a waste of an opportunity and feels anti climatic. I'm not much into fantasy, but even I knew better than just telling otherworlders I was named Bob and the first nickname I chose came to mind, Arthurian Longdragon.
Back in the office things unfolded naturally and people started doing their job. From customs taking account of the items possessed by the kidnapped elves to the secretive protection division that provided accommodations to the now refugees. Paperwork came and went from office to office, from department to department in such a beautiful symphony of bureaucracy and I was proud to be a part of it.
"Finished." I stretched after finishing my report.
"Good job, agent Bob." Said Hale the moment I turned in my report, but he looked bitter for some reason. I would have thought he was mad at me by the face he made while he shook my hand, but the grip was casual. I'm probably making things up in my mind. I tried to shake off the useless thoughts and just went straight back to the office to fill in some paperwork before Thompson had the chance to steal everything from me. This man does not take breaks and I can feel my resentment grow into something more dangerous, like frustration. Nothing a good coffee can't fix.
"Was she really as beautiful as they described her?" Nora asked like a curious cat.
"Probably." I reply. Good thing she followed me to the break room for some gossip. Thompson's quiet can be unnerving sometimes.
"Was she naked?"
"Not really, maybe partially."
"Then why did you give her your suit jacket?" It seems she read my report over my shoulder.
"She looked cold." I shrug.
"You're the worst person to talk to, you know that?"
"Thompson..."
"He doesn't count. He's like furniture." I let out a chuckle at Nora's comment.
"I'm just being faithful to the truth."
"Didn't you at least peek a little?"
"No." The conversation ended when someone from finances came by the break room to drop our pay stubs. I signed where I was supposed to sign and then had to take a seat when I looked at the amount.
"Something wrong? You look pale." Nora probed.
"It seems they made a mistake. This month's pay is more than my previous yearly salary."
"Uh-oh." Nora took some distance when I was summoned to the director's office. It meant my day was about to go horribly wrong, I just didn't know to what extent until I walked into the office and saw the elf woman.
"Agent Bob, You already met your highness Loraina Althurien Tua'nan."
'No, no way... please not.'
"She's the queen of Lithurien." My worst fears became a reality. I came over thinking they made an accounting mistake, but this didn't mean more paperwork, it meant political implications.
"Thank you for saving my people." She slightly bowed her head, but her face didn't look grateful.
"I just did my job."
"Her highness has requested your company until we can send her home." The director said with a smile I had never seen on her face before. A gesture I learned meant more danger than being beckoned at with two fingers.
"Understood." I said like the good agent I am, then the moment Loraina walked out the office I let out a groan.
"I'm sorry, but there's no way out of it. She's royalty and she personally requested you."
"I wasn't aware that nobility and titles are valid here."
"They do. In fact, other worlds are treated similar to other nations. The other elves that came with her are considered travelers just like the people we sent out to other worlds, but she has diplomatic status. Her kidnapping is a high offense and may result in a war between worlds. We cannot afford that to happen. She was gracious enough to forgive us for what the criminal did and will consider the rest of her stay as a cultural exchange, but that means we must give in to whatever she demands." My head is spinning right now.
"May I ask, was she targeted because she was a royal?" If she's just the random victim of a crime then I can handle it, but if this is related to her being a queen then it's way more than I can handle.
"You can rest assured, that is not the case and it will likely be a safe mission. We believe the returnee just wanted to profit and elves just happen to be highly sought after in the black market. They are among the few true non senescent races that are also considered beautiful for our standards and their biology is also compatible with ours." That means it's probably organ trafficking, absolutely disgusting but it's also not the worst case. If my job has taught me anything is that there's evil everywhere.
"What should I do? I don't know how to treat royalty."
"She's aware of it. I explained her that you're the equivalent to a knight of her world, which means you are bound to the honor code. I want this to be clear, you will remain on the clock until the queen is safely back home. Understood?" I nodded and turned to leave. Of course I didn't understand what she meant and had to ask the system about it.
"She means to keep it in your pants." The system manager explained then I looked at my watch. It was time to clock out, but I'm not going to since I'm considered on duty until I get queen Loraina home safely.
She remained silent on the way to my apartment without taking her eyes out of the city. I could have taken her to a five star hotel on the bureau's dime, but from the way she's treated me I figured it's not worth going out of my way to please her.
"Is this your castle?" She gaped at the sight of the apartment building.
"It's not mine, I'm a government official and just rent here."
"So you're poor." One awkward elevator after and she was entering my apartment. I thought she would make demeaning comments and was ready to rebuke, but instead she looked shocked.
"It's not much, but make yourself comfortable." I say to Loraina whose big eyes studied my place with interest. The couch, the TV and even the electric lights lured her attention long enough for me to ask for takeout.
"What do you want to eat?" I showed her the menu on my phone.
"I don't understand this language." She shook her head and I ordered one of everything on my own dime after checking my inflated bank statement. I flipped on the TV to entertain the elf queen in my living room while considering what to do with so much much money. Half an hour later the door rank and I opened foolishly thinking it was the takeout.
"She kicked me out again." Peter walked in dragging a blanket.