Tamayō snapped her head toward the golden statue beside her.
"Are… are you certain of this claim, LRS-sama?!" she asked, her voice breaking.
"Of course!" the statue declared with absolute confidence. "Can you not see? I am his statue; it is only natural that I would know everything he thinks. Tamayō, my dear, Lord Ruben loves you—he merely awaits the day when his conviction will be solidified."
"I knew it!" Tamayō exclaimed, bouncing joyfully on her throne. "There is simply no way the Supreme Lord could resist the natural charm of my existence. He is a man, after all!"
"Isn't that wonderful for you, Tamayō-sama?" the pipe she smoked congratulated warmly. "Perhaps he may even propose soon!"
"Kiseru-chan…" Tamayō hugged the pipe tightly in her hands. "What would I ever do without you all and your advice? Ah, but what about Alicia? Could it be that she secretly fancies me as well?"
"What are you saying, Your Highness?" Left Wall-kun chuckled. "It is nearly impossible for anyone to truly hate your endearing yet regal presence."
"What do you think, Right Wall-san? Am I not regal and pretty?" Tamayō's eyes darted to the right side of her throne room. "Every step I take, every turn of my body exudes grace. Yet I do not wish to praise myself, and so I ask instead for external opinion…"
"Of course, Tamayō-sama! Left Wall-kun could not have spoken truer words!" Right Wall-san declared with enthusiasm. "Your fox ears are the most charming things in existence; your children cannot resist reaching for them at every chance.
"Your kimono is of the finest quality, crafted by your own hands, imbued with the highest magic. And your face—ah, the very face of a goddess! Those dark eyes, that sculpted elegance of a face, and your full lips, which Trigger and his companions forever dream of yet can never attain.
"Your style and figure are unmatched, the very peak of beauty itself. Just look at the exquisite children you have birthed; such perfection could only come from you, Tamayō-sama. Therefore, I reach this conclusion: Alicia has undoubtedly fallen in love with you!"
"For a moment there, I nearly branded you a creep and a shameless flatterer," Left Wall-kun admitted. "But every word you spoke was accurate! I, too, agree—Alicia must be in love with Her Highness. That would explain her negative attitude, since Her Highness is already fated for the Supreme Lord."
Tamayō pressed a finger to her chin in thought. "You are making sense, Left Wall-kun. I recall once refusing Alicia when she sought to pet me… and now that I think carefully, she nearly cried!"
"You see?" LRS-sama confirmed solemnly. "You have no true enemies, Tamayō dear. Only admirers… and maybe a host of suspicious individuals who simply wish to embrace the masterpiece that is your body."
"So, the purple one actually loves me, her mother, but her expectations are simply too surreal for me to handle?" Tamayō asked LRS-sama.
"What nonsense is that?" he scoffed. "Onee-sama is just like Lord Ruben! She does not know how to express her affection and devotion to you. I mean, what other height can you possibly reach? You are already the peak itself! She only wants more of your attention."
"Good heavens..." Tamayō covered her mouth in shock. "I... I never realized I was neglecting her so much..."
"I used to see it too..."
"Kiseru-chan?" Tamayō turned her gaze toward her pipe.
"Onee-sama would pretend to sweep for hours, but in truth she was simply drooling and stalking you!"
GASP!
The entire hall erupted once again in restless whispers and murmurs.
"I did not want to say anything, myself," LRS-sama quietly confessed, "but I also witnessed her doing so on many occasions. She is obsessed."
Tamayō's face flushed a little red. "Goodness gracious... And there she was scolding us about 'incest' or something of the sort, while secretly harboring illicit endeavors for her own mother. What am I to do with her?"
"Please forgive her..." the pipe begged.
"Kiseru-chan?" Tamayō drew calmly from her pipe, then began staring at it.
"She is only socially awkward, not truly dangerous... I think… I hope. Actually, I would recommend you sleep with one eye open, just in case."
"Ehhh? She would never go that far," Tamayō waved her hand dismissively. "Even if I am irresistible, there are boundaries when it comes to laying hands on me without my permission."
"Remember, you have been assaulted on many occasions by your children."
"Polished Floor Oji-san?!" Tamayō's eyes dropped to the ground beneath her. "Wh-what are you insinuating?"
"Hehe. Your Eminence, has Onee-sama ever once joined her siblings in harassing you against your will?"
"Ah... now that Polished Floor Oji-san mentions it..." Tamayō narrowed her eyes in sudden revelation. "There have never been a time like that…"
"Onee-sama is starved, I tell you! She only longs to join the younger ones so she too may get her paws on you!"
"H-How sad!" Left Wall-kun cried out. "She is just like us, then—able only to gaze upon her Highness from a distance, never permitted to touch her delicate skin..."
"Not me, though," Kiseru-chan sneered.
Tamayō snapped her head sharply to her left, intense concern painting her features. "Do not say such sorrowful things, Left Wall! If I did not have all of you, I would have... I would have... perished from sheer loneliness and unbearable boredom!"
The entire hall lit up with joy and happiness.
"...Your Highness..."
"Tamayō-sama..."
"Tamayō dear..."
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I do not, for even a single minute, believe that you are inanimate objects without souls! I love you all as deeply as I love the purple one herself!"
Then, without restraint, she began running around the hall, embracing her companions one by one.
She hugged Left Wall-kun, Right Wall-san, Polished Floor Oji-san, the always quiet Entrance Wall-san, the Wall-Onee-san behind her throne, the Throne himself, LRS-sama, the pillars, and every other part of the hall.
"Ah, Tamayō-sama," Right Wall-san sobbed openly, "you need not do so much for the likes of us!"
"Silence yourself! I love you!" Tamayō cried as she clung desperately to Right Wall-san.
He nearly died from pure happiness, apparently.
***
"So... when are we going in?" Silver asked as he squatted beside the entrance to the throne room.
"You fool! Have you no heart?!" Gold quietly rebuked him. "Haha-ue will die of embarrassment!"
Incidentally, the kitsunes—all except Onee-sama—had been waiting for over an hour for their mother to finish her bout of insanity so they could finally go in and greet her.
"Anyway, just keep concealing your presence as Onee-sama taught us," Gold said, wiping a tear from her eye as she peered into the hall, watching their mother frantically embrace the inanimate objects as if they were cherished companions.
"I… t-truly believe we should not leave Haha-ue by herself so often," Green whispered, pressing her trembling hand against her mouth as tears welled up. "If this continues, she may one day completely b-break... and I won't be able to endure it."
"But… why…? Why does Haha-ue talk to the lifeless objects in the first place?" Blue asked in a hushed voice, burying her tear-streaked face against Silver's arm. "It doesn't make any sense! And it's heartbreaking to watch."
"Quiet, you buffoon!" Gold hissed sharply, pointing at her. "We are the cause of this! Haha-ue is just the victim here!"
"But the way she seriously does it..." Brown frowned with unease.