Chapter 27
Kairen barged into the restroom, his palms slamming against the sink as though the porcelain could steady the storm rattling through him. His chest heaved in ragged gasps, breath hitching, the uniform clinging damply to his skin as heat coursed through him. He raised his head, only to catch his reflection in the mirror his own eyes, wide and frantic, staring back from a janitor's body. He looked like the very mockery Sebastian wanted him to be.
The laughter still echoed in his head. Not just today's brittle chuckles, but the cruel chorus of high school, Sebastian's taunts bleeding into the voices of faceless classmates. It was the same sound, the same sting, circling like a noose until his vision blurred.
Behind him, the door creaked open.
"Kairen"
Julian's voice was low, cautious.
But Kairen didn't answer. He staggered back from the sink, trembling, his breath breaking into short, shallow bursts. The tiled walls warped in his sight, the room spinning, the phantom jeers louder, heavier. He was slipping back into that place, that helplessness.
"Kairen," Julian tried again, firmer this time.
Kairen clutched at the air, stumbling, knees threatening to give out. In the next instant, Julian was there, arms catching him before he hit the cold floor. For a moment Julian only held him hesitantly, unsure, but then his grip steadied solid, anchoring.
"Breathe," Julian whispered, voice closer now, softer. "You're safe. Just breathe."
But Kairen couldn't. He wanted to explode, to scream, to claw out the humiliation clawing inside him but the tears betrayed him first. Hot and unrelenting, they spilled down his cheeks as his body trembled harder, until resisting became impossible. With a sharp, shuddering exhale, he collapsed into Julian's embrace, burying his face against the steadiness he hadn't known he needed.
Julian held him firm, one hand braced against his back, the other hovering as though afraid of breaking him. "Listen to me," Julian murmured, his tone low but sure, "this is exactly what he wants. To see you like this. Don't give him that. Don't give them the satisfaction."
The words cut through the noise, small threads of reason woven into the chaos. Kairen still shook, still burned with the shame, but his breathing began to slow, drawn unconsciously into the rhythm of Julian's steady chest.
The restroom was silent now, save for the fragile sound of Kairen's uneven breaths and Julian's quiet reassurances. And for that moment, hidden away from the cruel eyes of the office, Kairen wasn't entirely alone.
Julian finally managed to still the tremor in Kairen's body, his palm steady against the boy's back until the ragged breaths softened. He leaned back slightly, just enough to see Kairen's face, damp with sweat and streaked with tears.
"You need to put yourself together," Julian said quietly, almost coaxing. "You look a mess."
It wasn't a scolding. It was gentle, like he was reminding him of the strength still buried somewhere inside. But Kairen's eyes red, glassy, lost made Julian hesitate. His hand lingered on his arm, his grip unwilling to loosen. And before he could stop himself, Julian bent his head and pressed a soft, fleeting kiss against Kairen's forehead.
The gesture was cautious, almost afraid of itself. As if he expected Kairen to snap back, shove him away, or curse at him. But nothing came. Kairen only stood there, shoulders tight, swallowing hard, too drained to resist and perhaps too desperate to deny the comfort.
Slowly, Kairen pulled back, lifting trembling fingers to wipe at his swollen eyes. He sniffed once, trying to reassemble some form of dignity, even if it crumbled at the edges.
Julian gave his shoulder one last squeeze swift, grounding before stepping back. He turned toward the door, walking as if reluctant to leave.
Kairen's voice broke the quiet, soft but urgent. "Julian."
He froze in the doorway, half outside, half in.
"…Thank you."
Julian blinked, then nodded once, a faint smile curving his mouth. It wasn't the smile of someone who thought everything was fine
it was the kind that said I know it isn't, but it's all I can give you right now.
Then he stepped out, the door easing shut behind him.
Kairen was alone again, the silence pressing in heavy, broken only by the sound of his unsteady breathing.
Kairen exhaled, long and shaky, the kind of breath that carried the weight of something caged inside him for too long. He turned toward the mirror above the sink, bracing his palms on the porcelain rim as if it could hold him steady.
His reflection stared back, unfamiliar in its jaggedness, red eyes, damp lashes, hair mussed from the frantic way he had tugged at it. This morning he had looked sharp, neat, the kind of person who could walk into Maison de la Croix and not look out of place. Now… now he looked like the punchline.
The laugh tore out of him before he could stop it. A raw, almost manic chuckle bounced off the restroom walls.
"I would have laughed at you as well," he said to his reflection, teeth flashing through his bitter grin.
But the sound faltered. His shoulders dipped, and his mouth pulled into something fragile.
"…but I'm you," he whispered, softer, as though admitting it to himself made it worse.
He reached for his phone on the counter, wiped his palms against his trousers, and thumbed through his calendar. Tomorrow was clear. No office, no Victor, no Sebastian. His chest tightened at the thought, but he forced himself to push through the spiral. He opened a slot, typed quickly, and scheduled a visit with Dr. Haynes. Therapy.
yes, that was what he needed now. He needed to untangle this mess before it swallowed him whole.
He placed the phone back down beside the sink, its black screen staring up at him like a silent witness. For a fleeting second, the restroom was still.
Then it buzzed violently, screen lighting up, shattering the quiet.
Kairen's heart gave a nervous jolt as he glanced at the caller ID.
He glanced at the phone, his chest tightening for a moment before he exhaled. It was Amara. Relief tugged at his lips. If there was one person who could drag him back from whatever hell he was drowning in, it was her. Tea that was what he needed. Something sharp enough to slice through the mess of this day.
He swiped to answer, leaning his back loosely against the restroom mirror.
"Bitch, what's up? Why you ringing my phone? You don't pay my electronic bills."
On the other end, Amara had the phone wedged between her ear and shoulder as she packed up her boutique for the day, rustling sounds in the background.
"Guess the unfortunate and miserable thing that came to my store today?"
Kairen straightened just a little, interest sparking in his tired eyes. This was her tone for gossip, real gossip. "I don't know… a celebrity? Wait, was it Princess Diana? No-King Charles' family?"
Amara clicked her tongue loud enough for him to hear. "Even if it was zombies, I would've preferred it."
That single line made Kairen freeze. His chest sank with recognition. Only one category of people would make her talk like that. Their enemies.
"Spill." His voice was firm now, braced.
"Larry," Amara said flatly.
The name alone twisted his stomach into knots. If Kairen had been having a bad day before, this was enough to make him want to purge. His face fell, a hiss escaping between his teeth.
"What does he want this time?"
Amara launched into the story, sparing no detail, her words sharp as freshly pressed glass. She told him how she met Larry outside the boutique, how she dragged him with no mercy, and how she reminded him in broad daylight that Kairen was done with him. Each word was fire. Each insult, clean and cutting.
Kairen found himself clapping into the phone, laughing in spite of his exhaustion. "Yes, queen! Ate and left no crumbs!" He hyped her every line, his voice brightening with every jab she recalled.
By the time she wrapped it up, Amara's confidence hummed through the call like a spotlight. "Trust me, that motherfucker is never coming back again."
"That's good," Kairen said, finally catching his breath. "Because I would've done worse."
There was a small pause before Amara's voice softened, teasing but deliberate. "Oh, honey, the gist hasn't ended. There's more to what I saw. But I can't say it on call. I'll fill you in when you come over for dinner."
Kairen closed his eyes, relief and dread tangling together. Dinner meant more tea, more truth but at least it meant Amara would be there. And right now, that was enough....