Even though Seymore was gone now , I could not stay in the dorm for a second .
I called Liam but he did not pick it up . So I asked the agency for a car and took it to home.
He was too busy to pick up my call , I guessed. The next day went in a blur of dance practice and taking acting classes .
I never saw him . It was almost as if he had disappeared from my life again like he had few years back after he had debuted .
I told myself that I was used to him being absent . Infact , I was not okay .
Everytime I tried to close my eyes , I would see myself standing in a toilet with a pregnancy kit in my hand and Seymore sneering at me ," Do you need me to pull off your pants or what ?"
I would shudder and hold myself tightly so I would not break .
I could not just break down now . I had to be strong for my friends .
When I finally attended the ' Meet and Greet' with fans , the make-up artist told me ," Girl , you look horrible."
I felt horrible. I could not eat anything for the past two days . I was surprised that I was still standing on my feet and coming to work like this .
The meeting was obviously a disaster . Every one of my fans wore black dress - a silent protest to my dating scandal .
I bowed and apologized to each of them.
One a man in his sixties came wearing a blue shirt and brown trousers .
I really did not have much fans from older generation. I was pleased to see some colors in the ' Meet and greet' that day .
" Kids these days are awful ," he consoled me in a soft voice ," Are you doing okay ?"
" Thanks to your blessings and wishes," I smiled at him , his blue eyes and half-smile felt strangely familiar," I apologise for causing such disturbance."
" You will clear it up , won't you ?," he laughed ," I really want a picture with you , I want to brag to my son later , what do you say ?"
Ofcourse , I agreed . That was why I was there , wasn't I ?
When the meeting finally ended , I was too dizzy to even walk to the car .
I had brought one of the guards with me that day . He helped me to the seat .
" The dorm is near , would you like to go there to rest ?," he asked .
I shook my head ," No , to my house ."
I did not want to admit it but a part of me was scared that when I would enter the dorm , I would find Seymore waiting for me again.
Seymore had been with me more than ten years . His presence stained every inch of my life , even at his absence. I did not know how to wipe him off my life yet .
At times ,I blamed Winter again . I knew how selfish it was to point her as the sole cause of my misery but she was selfish too . She did not think about us when she left .
I was so bitter about how she could leave with a guy who she had known just for a year . What about us who she had known for half a decade ?
I was too tired to even cry my eyes out today .
When I walked into my room , my vision was too blurry to properly function like a normal human being , but I knew that I could not really fall asleep unless my brain finally could shut down by itself .
So I took a bath , scrubbed my skin clean , brushed my hair and did my skin care all by myself. I could have asked the maids to help me out but I wanted to tire myself out in anyway possible.
By the time , I claimed on my bed , I could barely see anything.
And despite giving so much effort, I dreamt in the night again.
I was sitting on a chair in Rosemary Five -Star Restaurant. I was wearing a pink dress , the one my mother bought for me at my nineteenth birthday.
A man in his forty was sitting across the table , " I have a son in kindergarten, I hope you can get along with him."
I smiled and noded , only to see his face melting off his skull and then it grew back a new face , it asked me ," What is your weight ?"
" Forty eight ."
The man infront of me changed his face again ," I don't know ....I need two boys in next three years , have you checked with a gynecologist yet ?"
Before I could answer , he changed again ," What is your horoscope ?"
And again .
There were so many faces and they kept asking too many questions.
" What is your bra size ?"
" Can you cook well ?"
" You can not dress like this in our family."
" Can I smell your hair ?"
" So you know how to play well on the bed ?"
There were hundreds of faces , they were talking altogether to make any sense of their words .
Finally they all shut up and molded in a guy in his late thirties . He was tall with blonde hair , wearing blue suits and glasses.
" I am not buying her unless you are worth of my time , Mr. Anderson , can I take her back to my hotel ?"
My father stood at the corner of the room , smiling lovingly at my direction," No Mr. Brad , I am afraid that it would decrease her value on the market."
I gasped for breath as I opened my eyes , only to find silence around me.
The floor was cold under my feet . I could still see those faces laughing at me from the darkness .
I was too terrified to make a sound .
After what felt like an eternity, my eyes adjusted to the darkness around me .
I was still in the house , sitting alone in the dining room .
It seemed like it was midnight. All the servants had moved back to their quarters .
I shivered. I did not remember walking into the dining room wearing such an old dress. I had even forgotten where I had put this particular piece of clothes since my memory of it was not exactly favourable.
I got up and realised that I had my heels on and also had a hand bag . Almost like I was going somewhere and dozed off on the table .
Where was I going ? I could not remember any appointments I might have so late at night .
I hurried up the stairs and realised that the lights were still on in the first floor .
Did Liam just get back ? Or was it that he could not sleep or something?
My husband had the habit of working till dawn whenever his group had a show coming on . Sometimes I would find him with eyebags sipping coffee in the morning and I would know that this man did not know the existence of a bed last night .
I found his presence strangely comforting . The ghostly faces from my dream were still threatening me from the darkness in my imagination and last two days had been awfully long and terrible.
A part of me yearned to be nestled in his arms and act like nothing else mattered . When everything around me made me feel insecure and naked , I wanted to hide behind him .
Ofcourse , I knew that he was such a liar and a traitor in our marriage. But I craved his presence tonight .
Maybe I could get a glimpse of him before going to my bed . That small sight of him could reassure me that he was there , in the house with me.
Even if Seymore had followed me to my house , he could not touch me with my husband present.
I knocked on his door with no response. A little disappointed, I still consoled myself by coming to the logic that he might have fallen asleep with the lights turned on.
I was turning to leave when I heard a large BANG ! inside .
" Liam ,?" Worried I shouted his name ,with no response back , I pushed on his door .
Thankfully it was not locked .
I entered his room , running around until I froze near the bathroom.
The faucet was on ,so was the shower . Liam was wearing a white t-shirt and blue trousers . He was lying on the floor ,still like he had forgotten to breath .
I screamed thinking I had just found my husband after his death.