It had been such a long time since I had cried so loudly like this .
I knelt before him , wrapping my arms around his face . He was too young to be dead . He was too handsome to be dead.
God was so unfair that he was taking away all the people I had ever loved .
But then he coughed and groaned in between my arms , mumbling something about how annoyingly loud I was .
" Don't make me a widow at this age , you jerk ," I sobbed in relief.
His skin was burning in fever , he was dizzy . One moment he tried to sit up , but the next he was haunching over the toilet , throwing up everything he had eaten .
He was sick . He was terribly sick . Maybe he was dying .
I needed to contact an emergency number . I needed to save him.
I got up but he yanked on my hand ," Don't leave ."
" Just let me bring back my purse and my phone , we will go to the hospital as soon as possible," I promised him.
" I can not go to the hospital, mother will find out ," he said in a weak voice .
" Does it fucking matter if you die ?," I hissed at him.
" Yes , people have to honor the last wishes of dying people ," he joked balantly about his death.
I was in no mood to let him mess around with him . But I understood the pain of having a difficult relationship with the parents .
" If it gets worse , we are going to the fucking ER ," I warned him," I don't care of we are on the headlines of an article next morning ,okay ?"
" Okay ," he gave me a small smile .
His skin was pale , his eyes were sunken . He looked like he was back from the dead or was going to die today .
Panic fluttered against my ribcage . I was so stupid to not call an ambulance . What if I became the reason that he had to lie in a coffin ?
" Julia , help me up ," his small request distracted me from my worry . For now , I had to do whatever possible.
He was heavy , God , I had never regretted not enlisting in a weight lifting team until this moment.
We barely got him to lie on the bed when my legs gave out and I toppled over him.
" Sorry ," I squeaked . I should have gotten out of the heels long ago. There were of no help.
" This is not so bad ," the dying man smirked .
I rolled my eyes and got up to look for a towel .
There were papers stacked all around his room , I had not noticed them last time I was there .
Most of them had red stamps from Sunshine corporation, maybe Liam was working on something for the company whenever he could .
The thought made me feel miserable. He was already so busy with the shootings , dance practices ,talk show and solo album coming out in three months.
Now my evil mother-in-law had him do assignment from the company. No wonder , he looked like a dead man .
Liam burped again as I pushed a towel to his face .
" Don't worry , if you need to throw up , you can wherever you like ," I rubbed his back ," I can clean it up ."
He shook his head , as he tried to take a step , I came to stand before him to carry his weight.
He threw up over my dress . The warm sticky liquid soaked on my back , and the sour smell hit my nose - I started to panick again .
His skin was burning hot against mine . I was so mad at him for not calling an ambulance yet .
He was too sick for me to handle .
I supported his weight as best as I could as he dragged himself to the bathroom again .
He turned on the water in the tub .
Then he turned at me ," Julia ,I have some medicine in my drawer , can you bring it out for me ?"
I noded and ran to take the medicine.
By the time I was back , he was sitting in the tup with the water turned on .
I handed the pills over to him .
" What are they for ?," I asked .
" Um ...for the fever ?," he said , his eyes were closed . I knew that he was lying .
I got up slowly. This was getting worse and worse . I should have listened to my instinct and called for help .
" Where are you going ?"
His voice froze me at the door of the bathroom.
" Julia ," he opened his eyes , they were dark like the night sky tonight , almost all of their colour was stained black ," Please , I can not have mother finding out about it . Just for this once , please listen. I know what I am doing , okay ?"
Fuck , fuck .
" Fine ," I took in a shaky breath , utterly defeated ," I promised you one hour , no? "
" Yes ."
" Just let me change my dress ."
He sighed in relief ," You can take anything from my closet ."
I could have run upstairs to change but I was scared to leave him alone .
But what if by the time I was back , he stopped breathing and become dead ?
I could not waste a single second , I threw open his wardrobe and changed into the first thing I found .
It was a grey full sleeve tshirt that came to my thighs . I was not complaining over it . I had wore worse things on stage .
I ran into the bathroom and saw he had his head rested on the brink of the tub . He was looking at me with a strange look .
" Were you going out somewhere tonight ?," he asked .
I placed my hand on the pearl necklace on my throat and unclasped it," No , I was just trying to wear some old stuffs ."
" Oh ," he mumbled ," It had been ages since I saw you wear that pink dress , I thought that -"
He dozed off .
I knelt beside the tub and brushed his dark hair off his forehead. He was still burning hot. He shivered .
" Are you cold ?," I asked .
" No ," he answered , with his eyes cold ," Not physically ."
I did not understand him at all .
" Julia , please stay ," he begged .
" Do you need me for something ?"
" Can you hold me for a second ?," he asked like a child , opening his arms .
I wrapped my arms around his head ," You will be fine , you will be okay ."
I was more consoling myself. He wrapped his fingers around my waist and sighed ," It feels better with you here . I am sorry you must be so cold now ."
He was still apologising even in this state. My heart twisted. Something in me was pulling my body towards him.
So I got into the tub with him .
His body heat burnt my skin and the water was contrastingly cold in comparison . It was as if someone has put me in between a snow storm and hot oven.
I looked up as I nestled myself against him ," Are you still cold ?" I asked .
He was staring down at me ," No , I feel sleepy though."
He closed his eyes and shivered again. I placed my palm on his cheek ," It is okay , I am here , you can rest now ."
His breathing slowed down under my touch . As I watched he fell into the arms of sleep .
I started humming . Cause I wanted him to hear my voice in his dream , so that he would know that he was not alone tonight .
I was here with him.