"Xie Qingcheng... What are you trying to do?"
Logically, as a doctor and an elder, the appropriate response would be for him to offer comfort to the other party.
But Xie Qingcheng didn't do that.
He bent down, allowing He Yu's larger hand to grip him tightly by the arm.
"He Yu, honestly, I don't have a lot of patience for you," Xie Qingcheng said. "When you recklessly take drugs and hurt yourself like this, it takes all my willpower just to talk to you properly. So, know what's good for you and stop looking at me with such distaste. Close your eyes and calm down. Stop thinking about such trivial nonsense."
He Yu had no way to respond.
Xie Qingcheng was pressing down on him with a lot of strength. The words he said weren't comforting at all, but it somehow felt like there was a great force that traveled through his hand and bore into He Yu's heart.
He Yu gradually stopped struggling, but his head was still considerably woozy. So he sat there, just like that, and quietly allowed Xie Qingcheng to continue covering his eyes.
After a while, He Yu blinked, his eyelashes brushing against Xie Qingcheng's palm.
Sensing that he'd calmed down somewhat, Xie Qingcheng was about to relax when something caught his eye—in addition to his wrist injury, He Yu also had a small bruise on his cheek.
Xie Qingcheng was utterly speechless. "What happened to your face? You hurt yourself on your face even though you have to appear in front of the camera?"
"I fell on a rocky incline when I was rehearsing."
"You think I'd believe that?"
"If you don't believe me, then forget it. Get out," He Yu said, eager for Xie Qingcheng to leave. The irritation was making his mind fall apart once again.
The young man's thin lips, still exposed under Xie Qingcheng's palm, opened and closed as he tried his hardest to maintain his lucidity.
"Get out already."
Seeing him like this, Xie Qingcheng grew furious. "Let me make something clear, He Yu. Even if you think that I don't understand and can't empathize with you, an illness ought to be treated. This is nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel uncomfortable anywhere, you can ask someone to help you alleviate the pain. If your heart feels heavy, then you should take your medicine on time. If your medicine is too bitter, you can say something or eat a piece of candy. Nobody would blame you for asking for a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. You don't need to tough it out like this, and you definitely shouldn't hurt yourself."
He Yu remained silent.
"You're only nineteen, He Yu. To put it bluntly, you're still three years from being able to legally marry—you're still just a child. You can cry when it hurts, you can ask for sweets. There's not a single doctor or nurse who would make fun of a patient for being afraid of pain and suffering. We even made it through the great catastrophe of Cheng Kang Psychiatric Hospital—you should be happy that you managed to escape with your life. What could've possibly made you so upset?"
He Yu silently leaned against the wall as his chest heaved slowly.
Xie Qingcheng quietly watched as He Yu's breathing slowly relaxed and grew gentler. He was still covering the upper half of He Yu's face, so he couldn't see the expression in those almond eyes, but he could feel that He Yu had stopped struggling so much.
Xie Qingcheng hesitated briefly, then raised his other hand and brushed it through the sweat-soaked hair scattered and stuck across the young man's forehead.
He Yu shrank back slightly.
From the center of Xie Qingcheng's palm, there came a distinct sensation.
Xie Qingcheng started in surprise—he could feel wetness on the palm of his hand.
He couldn't be certain—and didn't dare to make certain of it—because he'd rarely ever seen He Yu cry. At most, the rims of his eyes would redden. For a moment, he dared not remove his hand, going so far as to wonder, Is my sense of touch failing me?
But he didn't know that this spiel of his had caused the dazed and drunken He Yu to fall into the indiscernible abyss between dreams and reality.
He Yu thought of Xie Xue.
Xie Xue had once told him something similar before. Back when he was young, she had tilted her head and asked the boy who looked so polite yet never paid anyone any mind, "Didi, are you upset?"
He Yu made no response.
"I heard that my brother knows your dad. He's working for your dad, so we'll see each other a lot in the future."
The little girl grabbed his hand as she spoke. "Let me tell you something. If you're unhappy, you can ask my brother for chocolate—unless you have cavities and can't have sweets, of course. But otherwise, he won't make fun of you or refuse you. I ask him for chocolate like this all the time! See? I got one just this morning!"
As she spoke, she dug around a bit in the pocket of her floral-print dress before fishing out a piece of milk chocolate, just as promised. Her mouth split open into a grin as she stuffed the soft, sweet chocolate into He Yu's ice-cold palm.
"You can have it—even though you have a big house, you don't have my brother's chocolate."
He Yu was at a loss for words.
"My name's Xie Xue. You're He Yu, right? Once you eat this chocolate, you'll be my friend."
He was completely dumbfounded.
"You have to be happy in the future, okay? If you're upset, come play with me. I'm great at cheering people up. I can stay with you the whole day…"
Children truly were the easiest people to please. To them, a whole day was already enough. It was a vast stretch of time, nearly equal to what adults meant when they spoke of a lifetime. So, children would speak of a whole day so seriously, while adults would speak of a lifetime like it was nothing at all.
In his drunken stupor, it seemed to He Yu that it was still that afternoon from ten years ago.
He and Xie Xue still had an endlessly long day before them.
He Yu sighed. After a while, he suddenly tightened his grip. Holding Xie Qingcheng's well-defined wrist, he forcefully dragged the hand Xie Qingcheng was using to cover his eyes down, bit by bit.
The warm lamplight shone into the young man's dim and hazy eyes. In that moment, perhaps because they had yet to adjust to the transition from dark to light, He Yu's eyes seemed a bit unfocused.
Suddenly, he couldn't discern who the person in front of him was.
He stayed frozen in place for some time.
As for Xie Qingcheng, he could clearly see his own reflection in those almond eyes at such a close distance.
"Those words…" He Yu finally whispered. He stared at Xie Qingcheng, but his vision was still somewhat blurred and out of focus. "You've said them to me before."
Xie Qingcheng furrowed his brows, faintly sensing that something was wrong as the young man's warm, intoxicated breath invaded his every pore.
But he had no way of knowing that He Yu was recalling the first time he met Xie Xue, nor did he realize that He Yu's mind was already so muddled that he could no longer recognize him. Xie Qingcheng only found his words inexplicable and strange.
"Now, tell me: if I'm devastated, how long can you stay with me this time?"
Xie Qingcheng didn't respond.
"How long?" He Yu asked again, louder this time.
Xie Qingcheng returned to his senses. "What nonsense are you talking about—"
"I'm asking you a question."
Xie Qingcheng fell silent again.
"Answer me," He Yu insisted.
By this point, He Yu's tone had already become a bit hostile and overly forceful. It was the first time he'd ever had such a wolfish gleam in his eyes, like a male beast watching a female beast that was determined to leave him. He'd never revealed such a gaze to Xie Qingcheng before.
Xie Qingcheng instinctively felt a chill run down the back of his neck—that look was enough to make even a tough guy like him feel uneasy.
"You're drunk. He Yu, you should get up first."
The alcohol had really begun to kick in, causing He Yu's mind to grow increasingly chaotic. He grunted in response but didn't let go, staring into Xie Qingcheng's eyes as his gaze gradually hazed over. "You're lying. You think I'm a fool too."
Xie Qingcheng didn't know what to say
Under such a stare, Xie Qingcheng tensed up even more, the most primitive genetic code deep within his flesh beginning to sound the alarm after sensing danger.
It was impossible to get through to He Yu anymore.
The younger man was already halfway into a flare-up. He was like a remote island, entirely sealed off. He only said what he wanted to say and rejected anyone who tried to pry into his inner self.
At this moment, Xie Qingcheng also realized that they weren't at the He family residence, with its restraints and specialized tranquilizers. He had no tools to help him handle He Yu.
In truth, he shouldn't have been alone with He Yu at all when he was in this state.
He Yu had already taken his medicine, and given its potency, it would put him to sleep soon. Whatever it was that they needed to talk about, it would be better to save it for the next morning when he was a bit more lucid.
"Forget it," Xie Qingcheng said as he rose to his feet. "You should rest up tonight first—"
Unfortunately, this realization had ultimately dawned on him a little too late, as He Yu grabbed his hand so tightly he couldn't even budge.
He Yu had been staring at his eyes—the part of him that most resembled his sister—the entire time. They were the exact same peach-blossom eyes, only differing in terms of their character. Xie Xue's eyes were very warm, constantly emanating her curiosity and passion for life. On the other hand, Xie Qingcheng's were downright frigid—out of all the eye shapes in the world, this kind was the most emotive, but his aura made his gaze sharp and incisive.
Under ordinary circumstances, there was no way He Yu could ever mix them up. But right now, in his downcast mood and drunken stupor, under the dim lights of the hotel, what he drowsily and blurrily saw were the eyes of the person he wanted to bed.
He Yu looked and looked, until finally, he could no longer tell the two of them apart at all.
"Fine. You insist on leaving, is that it?"
"What are you doing?"
The young man ignored his question. "I'm asking you. You insist on leaving, is that right?"
Xie Qingcheng tore himself out of He Yu's grip. "Just what exactly are you trying to do?"
He Yu dropped his head and sneered. His normally upright and refined features could not hide his deviant and sinister nature that lurked just underneath once he lost control.
A shiver ran down Xie Qingcheng's spine as he took in the faint smile curling the corners of the younger man's lips.
He jerked to his feet, intent on leaving, but he had only taken a single step when He Yu seized his wrist again with a slap of skin on skin.
Before Xie Qingcheng could react, He Yu yanked him close with the powerful strength of a young man. With one hand gripping Xie Qingcheng's wrist and the other hand wrapped around his waist, He Yu rose and forcefully pressed him onto the long tea table nearby!
The back of Xie Qingcheng's head knocked audibly against the hard surface. He let out a muffled groan and the world spun before his eyes. "He Yu!"
He couldn't be blamed for failing to react to such a brutal and sudden attack. It was as if an evil dragon lying dormant in its lair put up with a noisy intruder until it lost its last shred of patience, spreading its enormous, terrifyingly rugged wings and ferociously swiping at the walls of the cave, fiercely shoving the offering that had encroached upon its territory onto a bed of rock. The intruder would stand no chance as its powerful claws brought a shower of debris down while tearing through that unfortunate soul's neck with its teeth.
In truth, given Xie Qingcheng's strength, he could have broken free at this point. Unfortunately, Xie Qingcheng was too straight-laced and he hesitated, thinking the violent bloodlust that was a symptom of He Yu's illness was about to manifest itself. His imagination didn't extend to any other possibilities, so he missed his final opportunity to escape.
As the two of them stumbled and collided with each other, their feet caught on the floor lamp's power strip. The lamp fell onto the thick carpet with a muffled thump, plunging the room into darkness. Meanwhile, when Xie Qingcheng and He Yu tripped, He Yu knocked over Xie Qingcheng and ended up pinning him down hard onto the middle of the table.
His breathing was rough and ragged, reeking of alcohol.
Only their silhouettes could be seen in the faint glow of the city's streetlights beyond the window. He Yu's gaze carefully traced over these outlines to land on that pair of unbearably familiar peach-blossom eyes.
Between the alcohol and the dim light, He Yu's mind and vision blurred. As he lowered his head to look down into those eyes that were only centimeters away, the rift in his heart began to expand violently outward.
All the dissatisfaction, pain, emptiness, and unrequited love that he had suppressed for so long broke through the surface and shattered those accumulated layers of sedimentary rock transforming into heartache, manifesting in the trembling of his eyelashes, becoming the unyielding force of the hand with which he grabbed Xie Qingcheng's wrist, accumulating into the hot teardrop that fell down in his sorrow.
He Yu didn't know where that tear fell.
But Xie Qingcheng stopped struggling as he felt something warm drip onto his chest.
"He Yu, you…"
Before Xie Qingcheng could finish his sentence, the young man hovering over him with his head lowered and his throat choked with sobs suddenly cupped the back of his head with his hands. Then, with his eyes closed, he leaned closer and caught Xie Qingcheng's slightly cool mouth with warm, wet lips.
Xie Qingcheng felt as though he had been struck by lightning. His eyes abruptly flew open as time ground to a stop, and his mind went blank.
He couldn't make sense of anything amid this chaos; it didn't even occur to him to push He Yu away. He Yu was kissing him, his every breath burning with fervor. The force behind this kiss was something intense and searing, urgent yet distraught. He had never felt anything like it.
And it wasn't as though Xie Qingcheng had never kissed anyone before. He and Li Ruoqiu had slept together, of course, but neither he nor Li Ruoqiu had any passion for the deed—it had always felt as though they were simply going through the motions.
But now he was pinned under a strapping young man who had caught him off guard and kissed him. As He Yu's lips pressed against his own, Xie Qingcheng was assailed by the feverish scent of adolescence. Unlike a mature adult, the young man lacked technique, but his kiss was terrifyingly hot. As their lips came together and intertwined, Xie Qingcheng began to struggle on instinct, but He Yu held him firmly in place.
"Mmph!"
The desire of young people was too raw to be restrained, as though they would suffer helplessly all the way until their death if you didn't help them find relief. However, if you didn't get away in time, the heat from their body would radiate unchecked until it melted you to your core.
Every nerve in Xie Qingcheng's head seemed to snap in an instant.
He felt as though he had simply gone crazy—was this real, or was it a nightmare? It wasn't until another one of He Yu's tears fell, dripping onto his cheek to roll down the side of his face into the hair at his temples, that Xie Qingcheng jolted awake from this shockingly immoral position and abruptly began to resist. But unfortunately, He Yu had taken him for Xie Xue; there was no way he would let Xie Qingcheng go so easily. He Yu forcefully wrapped a hand around his pulsating neck, pulling away slightly in the process, and then leaned down to draw him into yet another kiss.
Xie Qingcheng's strength was formidable, but his shock hindered both his mind and body. He hadn't even had the time to react when He Yu grabbed him around the waist and pulled him to the bed.
"He Yu… HE YU! Use your fucking eyes… Fuck…" Xie Qingcheng was far too masculine to stand being subjected to something like this. He was still wearing that bathrobe he had carelessly left his room in, and when He Yu grabbed the side of his waist, the heat that he felt from the younger man's palm through the thin layer of fabric was impossible to ignore.
Xie Qingcheng's scalp had practically gone numb. He began to resist He Yu's advances, but although he was a full-grown man standing no less than 180 centimeters, He Yu was both younger and taller than him. And while the brat had a pretty face with his red lips and white teeth, he was in excellent shape. His abs were clearly defined when he took off his shirt, and his strength was truly, frighteningly explosive.
Xie Qingcheng had cleared his head, but between that strength and the fact that He Yu had the upper hand, breaking free wouldn't be so easy. Not to mention, this was also He Yu's first fucking kiss!
What was it like for a nineteen-year-old virgin, who had never been with anyone before and suppressed his desires for so many years, to kiss someone for the first time?
It was practically the same as an animal getting its first taste of meat after a yearlong famine.
He Yu was drunk and sick, his awareness muddled, but he could still feel pleasure and arousal. He yanked violently on Xie Qingcheng's hair to keep him from escaping, and the rims of Xie Qingcheng's eyes turned red—perhaps out of pain, but more likely out of anger and frustration.
The boy who had gotten a taste of carnal desire refused to let him go. He Yu sensed that Xie Qingcheng's furious struggles were indeed difficult to deal with, so he eased his hand out of the man's hair to clamp down tightly on his nape instead.
Xie Qingcheng lifted his foot in a savage kick, but He Yu simply used the force of this motion to pin down the man who'd rather die than get onto the bed.
"You—!"
Xie Qingcheng felt as though the entire world was spinning as he fell heavily onto the soft, springy mattress. He Yu's searing weight pressed down on top of him a moment later.
Xie Qingcheng's chest tensed in overwhelming shock and his pupils contracted…
Beside him on the bed was a handful of unwashed, sweat-drenched high school uniforms that He Yu had worn for the drama. There were even some half-read textbooks next to the pillow. The bed, with its consummate schoolboy vibe, made Xie Qingcheng feel as though he was being defiled by a high schooler.
He Yu truly could no longer identify the person before him. Driven by his desire, he silently tightened his grip on Xie Qingcheng's neck and stared at him, waiting for his captive's strength to fade away as he lay beneath him.
About a dozen seconds later, Xie Qingcheng's face was red from lack of oxygen. There was a brief moment when He Yu's gaze seemed extremely terrifying, as if he wanted to gouge Xie Qingcheng's peach-blossom eyes right out of his head.
But once that moment passed, he suddenly became extremely helpless and despairing again. Startled, he slowly loosened his grip on Xie Qingcheng's neck…
Air rushed back into Xie Qingcheng's lungs as he took huge, gasping breaths and started coughing violently.
"…I'm sorry…" He Yu seemed to have sobered a bit, though his eyes remained confused. Even though he was speaking to him, he was really trying to tell "her," "I'm sorry… I didn't want…I didn't want to hurt you… I just…"
Unsure of what to say, he lowered his head and slowly closed his eyes. The tip of his elegant nose rubbed against the side of Xie Qingcheng's neck, and he dropped light kisses repeatedly on the bruises dotting the older man's throat.
Scalding lips murmured against his carotid, "I didn't want to hurt you…"
Xie Qingcheng shook with anger. The blood vessels in his head were on the verge of bursting.
After kissing his neck, He Yu stared at him again, before passionately forcing a kiss on Xie Qingcheng once more. He eagerly sucked on Xie Qingcheng's bottom lip and buried his fingers into the older man's messy black hair as he was made to endure the plundering kiss…
He Yu even went so far as to try prying open Xie Qingcheng's teeth to stick his tongue in!
Unable to bear the assault any longer, Xie Qingcheng viciously bit He Yu's lip. The smell of blood filled the air. Seizing his opportunity, Xie Qingcheng turned his face away to avoid the young man's scorching breath and began to yell at him.
"Are you fucking insane?! Let go…! You've drunk so much that your mind is confused! Get the hell up!"
Xie Qingcheng pushed at He Yu's chest with his hand, but the young man only clasped his own hand over it. He even went as far as to interlace their fingers.
Xie Qingcheng's scalp prickled as goosebumps broke over his entire body and he had to fight the impulse to violently throw He Yu off himself.
It was at this time that He Yu shed his third tear.
It fell just near his eyes.
He Yu's finger followed the teardrop, tracing the outline of Xie Qingcheng's peach-blossom eyes.
Before Xie Qingcheng could scold him again, he heard He Yu sigh softly. He Yu's gaze was unfocused as he looked at Xie Qingcheng's face and curved a finger to touch the man's cheek. "Xie…"
His voice softened and he paused, only allowing Xie Qingcheng to hear "Xie," but not the following "Xue."
Xie Qingcheng didn't know how to respond.
He Yu leaned over and trapped Xie Qingcheng beneath him with his broad shoulders. He turned his head and murmured softly into the side of Xie Qingcheng's neck, "I like you… I really like you…"