With his head bowed, the young man lifted up slightly, his breath tickling that tiny space just above Xie Qingcheng's lips. His loose fringe hung over his brow, a curtain over his confused yet scalding gaze.
He clasped Xie Qingcheng's hand tightly, but Xie Qingcheng was so stunned by He Yu's sudden confession that he was nearly catatonic.
He had only been furious and bewildered before, but this shock sent a bolt of paralyzing electricity throughout his body.
He was so confounded that he even forgot to resist…
Who liked whom?
He Yu liked him?
How could this be…
They were both men, and He Yu had never shown any inclination toward homosexuality; not to mention, Xie Qingcheng was thirteen years older than him…
As he lay on He Yu's hotel bed, his bathrobe in disarray and his body drenched in sweat, Xie Qingcheng slowly lifted his gaze to look into the eyes of the boy leaning over him in the darkness. But he had no idea that when this boy looked at him, he saw only that girl who resembled him.
"I love you so much… Listen to me: don't get together with him…"
It was only after this sentence that Xie Qingcheng finally snapped out of his astonishment. "…Fucking hell!" he cursed through gritted teeth.
He Yu had drunk too much and mistaken him for the wrong fucking person!
Xie Qingcheng tore his eyes away from He Yu's face as the puzzling mysteries from before came together like pearls on a string: He Yu joining the drama production, the sudden flare-up of his illness, what he said on Neverland Island about declaring his love to a girl, the drunken words he muttered over and over again…all the pieces fell into place.
Xie Qingcheng understood everything.
He Yu had expressed his feelings and then was rejected by that poor unfortunate girl…
Xie Qingcheng pressed his fingers to his brow. All the furious tussling in their wrestling match of dominance had coated Xie Qingcheng's forehead in sweat. He pushed his messy, drenched bangs out of his face in irritation as his chest heaved with each breath.
His neck still ached from where He Yu had grabbed it, but it didn't hurt as much as his head. The night's incident had been an unbelievably hideous, hellish mess, but he couldn't help but be glad for the sake of that faceless girl he had yet to meet.
At least this disaster hadn't befallen her.
Then, there was the matter of He Yu.
For starters, patients with psychological Ebola needed to stay calm; they could maintain rationality and self-control by keeping their mood fluctuations to a minimum. Romance could really disturb one's mood, so it was better to avoid it where possible. But He Yu seemed to have developed "Xie Qingcheng PTSD"—he was willing to listen to literally any advice so long as it didn't come from Xie Qingcheng.
So much for following the doctor's orders.
It was no surprise, then, that He Yu had fallen into his current state.
That said, it was fortunate that he had only unraveled this much, because he could still be saved.
Xie Qingcheng was still pinned beneath the young man's tall, broad, and feverishly hot body. But after sorting out his thoughts, he once again pressed his hand to He Yu's chest with a grim expression. "You… Get the fuck off me. Get off!!"
The intensity in He Yu's eyes had already faded. The medicine's tranquilizing properties were finally taking visible effect. He was still staring at Xie Qingcheng, but his grip slowly began to weaken and, as his breathing gradually steadied, signs of his madness ebbed away.
There was even an instant when a flash of sobriety flickered in his eyes before quickly dissipating once again.
Xie Qingcheng seized the opportunity to throw He Yu off his body. Tightening his hold on his bathrobe, he got up from the bed. His wrist was still throbbing in pain.
He Yu finally quieted down, though it might have been more accurate to say that the medication had finally subdued his savagery. He didn't struggle after being viciously pushed away, only opened his eyes in a vacant stare. After a long while, he whispered, "Did you know? I can't find the bridge anymore…"
"What?"
"I can't find it… I can't get out of here… I…I can't get out of here, no matter what I do…"
These quiet murmurs weren't spoken to Xie Qingcheng or anyone else. He Yu's expression was empty. He seemed lost, as he spoke like a madman raving in the darkness.
He Yu slowly closed his eyes, his lashes quivering.
Xie Qingcheng had no idea what bridge He Yu was talking about. The events of tonight had nearly driven him mad. He forced down his anger and discomfort, threw He Yu onto the bed with a strained expression, and tossed the blanket over him. Then, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth.
Xie Qingcheng was somewhat apathetic toward sex and disliked having unnecessary physical contact with others, much less getting kissed by someone of the same sex, so he was unbearably disgusted. With tap water gushing out of the faucet, he thoroughly rinsed out his mouth and splashed a handful of water onto his face. Leaning against the vanity, he finally managed to compose himself as he looked up into the mirror at his own face, which was still dripping wet.
The relationships between young people were simply a train wreck waiting to happen; the slightest bump in the tracks and everything would promptly fly off the rails. If not for the fact that this incident had happened to him personally, he could hardly be bothered to deal with this mess at all.
Seriously, what the hell? What the fucking hell?
All things considered, He Jiwei really ought to be paying him—it'd be inexcusable if he didn't. Later, he ought to seek He Jiwei out for compensation.
Xie Qingcheng's expression was grim as he pressed a hand to his aching temple, turned off the faucet, walked out to the sofa by the bed, and sat down in a daze.
The medicine had already knocked He Yu out by the time Xie Qingcheng stepped out of the bathroom. The docile-looking boy hugging a blanket on the bed was nearly indistinguishable from his usual model student self and completely different from the beast that had been clinging to him earlier.
Xie Qingcheng's mood soured as he looked at He Yu. He twisted open a bottle of the hotel's complimentary spring water and was about to take a sip to quell his anger, but a sudden flash of pain jolted through him the moment his mouth touched the bottle. Gasping, he lifted a hand to his lips, only to discover that they had been bitten bloody by He Yu. In all his thirty-two years, no one had ever dared to ravage his lips like this. Xie Qingcheng's expression darkened completely.
He slammed down the bottle of water, lit a cigarette, and began to smoke right there in the room—He Yu's preferences be damned. It was only after he had forced the little bastard sleeping on the bed to breathe an excess amount of secondhand smoke that he finally stubbed out the cigarette.
…Forget it. Just forget it! Xie Qingcheng thought, incandescently furious. Seeing as he's already fucking kissed me, then so be it. What else is there to be done?
As a man, he had nothing to lose; aside from feeling somewhat disgusted, there wasn't really an issue. Not to mention that, ultimately, this was nothing more than a misunderstanding.
Xie Qingcheng was too rational a person to waste much grief on a silly misunderstanding.
Objectively, the most important thing right now was He Yu's current condition.
He had finally personally experienced one of He Yu's flare-ups in their present stage. It was true that He Yu had been unhinged, yet this was still merely a partial flare-up as he had retained some semblance of control over his actions.
The question was, what would happen when He Yu fell completely ill and had a full-blown episode? How horrible would that be?
Perhaps his prognosis wasn't nearly as optimistic as it appeared on the surface.
Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes. He had long predicted that He Yu's condition would fluctuate a certain degree if he were to fall in love. That day on the island when he had tried to warn He Yu against pursuing his feelings, it hadn't only been out of consideration for that girl but for He Yu himself as well. However, his words fell on deaf ears.
He Yu had told him, "Doctor Xie, have I ever hurt anyone in these nineteen years? I just like someone, that's all. But I don't get such a right, do I?"
At the time, Xie Qingcheng had looked into He Yu's eyes and suddenly found himself unable to say anything.
He had watched He Yu grow up and knew his illness was too severe. He Yu had wandered between the twin abysses of his mental and physical states for nearly twenty years now, but he had yet to find a way out. The minds of patients with psychological Ebola were plagued with an intense viciousness; when their mental illness flared up, they could even become extremely violent and bloodthirsty.
Yet, He Yu chose to direct that viciousness at himself.
Whether it was howling in anguish or smashing his head against the walls, he always retreated to his evil dragon's lair whenever he felt things getting out of hand. Rather than risk harming the innocent, he would endure the torment in isolated darkness.
So, that mystery girl, was she the light at the end of the tunnel that He Yu was chasing?
Thinking of the tears He Yu had shed tonight, and recalling how the boy had sobbed out how much he loved her, Xie Qingcheng couldn't help but turn back once more and look at the young man slumbering on the bed.
Was this why He Yu had left school, why he couldn't take it anymore, why the disease lying dormant in his heart had been triggered?
Xie Qingcheng subconsciously reached up and touched the spot on his lips where He Yu had kissed him. He Yu may have been a loathsome beast, but Xie Qingcheng couldn't help thinking that he was a pitiful beast as well.
However, Xie Qingcheng had suffered too much of a shock to think about things too deeply. He still believed that the "Xie" He Yu had uttered in his half-muddled daze was referring to himself, and it never crossed his mind that He Yu could possibly have been thinking of Xie Xue at all.
And why would it? Even though He Yu and Xie Xue were of the same generation, they were still five years apart in age. To Xie Qingcheng, this age gap signified that they were unlikely to develop romantic feelings for each other, so he never once suspected that He Yu had inappropriate feelings for Xie Xue.
Not to mention, how old was He Yu again? Nineteen—still a teenager. In olden times, he wouldn't yet have had his coming-of-age crowning ceremony. He would have still been considered a minor.
Truth be told, to the stiff and traditional Xie Qingcheng, nineteen was still far too early to be dating. Nineteen-year-old boys barely had any hair on their chest and would still be in school, yet he was thinking of romance? He didn't even know who he was yet, so how long could this relationship last? And if he happened to knock her up, could he take the girl to the Bureau of Civil Affairs and make an honest woman out of her? Could he be self-sufficient enough to raise a family of three while caring for two sets of aging parents? Without financial support from his parents, could he earn enough money to raise the child and make sure his wife wouldn't have to worry about making ends meet while she was pregnant?
Nonsense, he couldn't do any of that at all.
So, he was still a boy, not a man.
Xie Qingcheng would never equate this sort of person with his future brother-in-law, so it was only natural that the thought wouldn't have even crossed his mind.
The sleeping student on the bed furrowed his elegant brows as though upset by something in his dream. Xie Qingcheng didn't want to look at him any longer, and he wanted to look at that hopelessly messy bed even less.
He got up and walked out the door.
It was already early the next morning by the time He Yu woke up. He opened his eyes in a daze, ran a hand through the messy hair scattered over his brow, and pressed against his slightly cool forehead.
His memories of the night before were like shattered fragments of porcelain: it was difficult to avoid being cut by their jagged edges when piecing them back together.
He Yu endured the spasming pain inside his skull as a rough outline of events from the night before formed in his mind. But the second he remembered the misdirected kiss, his entire body froze as he realized…
It seemed…he had…kissed Xie Qingcheng…
He Yu's immediate reaction was to hope that he was having a nightmare, but the broken skin on his bitten lip was still a little bloody. When he licked it, it stung with an utterly sobering kind of pain that made it patently clear that everything that had happened last night was indeed real.
As an all-encompassing model student since childhood, He Yu had honed the extremely high resilience and lightning-fast reaction time common to all star xueba. However, nothing could have prepared him for something like this.
His face was pale as he sat on the bed in a daze.
As his mind struggled to make sense of his memories, he heard the beeping sound of a key card being swiped. He Yu looked on helplessly as his door was abruptly pulled open and the victim of his inadvertent sexual harassment from the night before walked in with a calm and collected expression.
Xie Qingcheng had stayed up the entire night. He had spent several hours lost in thought after returning to his room, which gave him ample time to compose himself. He had just finished getting ready for the day before He Yu woke up. Upon walking into the room, he immediately saw that this little lunatic, with a crown of messy hair atop his head, was already awake and staring back at him through wide almond eyes.
Incredibly, He Yu appeared to be innocently baffled. This expression, in addition to his pretty and delicate xueba face, made it seem as though he was the actual victim in this scenario.
That beast.
Xie Qingcheng immediately picked up He Yu's T-shirt from the sofa and flung it into the beastly xueba's face, obscuring that irritating gaze.
"Get up," he ordered with an audible chill in his voice.
The beastly xueba pulled the shirt from his face and said with great difficulty, "Xie Qingcheng, last night, we… You and I… Did I…"
Terrifyingly, Xie Qingcheng replied, "Yes."
He Yu's expression crumbled.
"But there's no need for us to discuss such a stupid matter any further," Xie Qingcheng added.
He Yu started once again in surprise. He never could have imagined that Xie Qingcheng's attitude would be so cold and callous the moment he opened his mouth. If not for the fact that he was certain there was nothing wrong with his memory, he would have doubted the truth of what had happened the night before—that he hadn't kissed the wrong person in a moment of befuddlement, but rather, Xie Qingcheng had had a premeditated plan to take advantage of the moment and sexually assault him instead.
The cold and callous Xie Qingcheng leaned against the TV stand and crossed his arms. He looked at He Yu with a gravely apathetic expression and said, "Get dressed. We need to talk."
Last night, they had experienced such an embarrassing instance of physical contact together. Even if it was a misunderstanding, it was still sufficient to make He Yu feel guilty.
Seeing as he was the one who had initiated the kiss, He Yu found himself grasping for words. Under ordinary circumstances, he absolutely would've rebelled against Xie Qingcheng, but today, he was still struggling to wrap his mind around what had transpired. So, all he could do was follow Xie Qingcheng's words to the letter.
"Did you tell that girl you like her?"
"…No."
"You're still trying to lie to me? Did you forget what you said to me last night?"
He Yu could vaguely recall some of it, but he wasn't quite sober yet. After a while, he finally said, "I mistook you for the wrong person. I didn't say anything to her, I found out she likes someone else… Forget it. Why am I telling you all this? If you're gonna laugh, then go ahead and laugh."
He looked up. "I know that you're ecstatic. Everything happened just as you said it would: no one likes me, and I can't control myself. Aren't you glad? All your predictions came true."
Xie Qingcheng stared at him. "I'm glad that you didn't go completely mad."
He paused as he looked at He Yu's guarded expression. It seemed as though He Yu expected him to say, "Dear patient, after a night of reflection, I've come up with two treatment options. Please look them over and decide whether you would like to be chemically or physically castrated. Feel free to choose either one."
Xie Qingcheng sighed. Truth be told, he had no desire to belabor the issue. It was childish and a waste of time, so he simply said, "Forget it, He Yu. About this matter, about last night—just forget about it."
He Yu looked at him. Xueba were all accustomed to speaking up and proving themselves at every opportunity; the particularly beastly xueba sitting on the bed was no exception. And so, He Yu asked, "However?"
"However," Professor Xie swept his severe gaze over He Yu's face, displeased by his speaking up. "I thought things over and what happened last night leads me to believe that your current condition is extremely poor. To be honest, when I previously spoke with your father over the phone, he did ask me to regularly check in on you. Your indiscriminate abuse of drugs when your illness flares up and your attempts to hide the truth from everyone are extremely inappropriate. Therefore…"
He Yu's "father"—Executive Xie—began to lecture him.
However, he only managed to hear the opening of his "father's" speech. He Yu hadn't quite recovered yet, and his head was a bit dizzy as his thoughts wandered about absent-mindedly. Every word Xie Qingcheng spoke went in one ear and out the other. What could Xie Qingcheng possibly be talking about if not how he would never ever forgive him?
But on second thought, he never asked Xie Qingcheng to come and look after him in the first place. It was Xie Qingcheng who had barged into his room and approached him. They were both straight men who hadn't the slightest interest in the same sex, so it was just a matter of bad luck on both their parts. He didn't owe Xie Qingcheng anything.
Thankfully, He Yu hadn't said Xie Xue's name aloud yesterday. Otherwise, it'd be even harder to clean up this mess…
"…That's basically the gist of it."
At some point, his "father" had already finished his lecture and summed up his main points.
"Did you hear me?"
He Yu lifted his head and met Xie Qingcheng's frosty gaze.
Parched from speaking so long, Xie Qingcheng picked up the bottle of spring water he had left untouched the night before, unscrewed the lid, and took a drink. "If you agree, then we'll consider this matter resolved," he said with cool indifference.
In reality, He Yu hadn't managed to absorb a single thing Xie Qingcheng had just said. His hungover, dully aching head only registered that final "we'll consider this matter resolved." However, as someone accustomed to being an outstanding student, he nevertheless nodded his head instinctively.
Xie Qingcheng looked down at him with disdain. "Good. In that case, come find me at the medical school once you've wrapped your scenes and returned to campus."
Only then did He Yu snap out of his daze. Realizing that he had seemingly agreed to some kind of demand while he was spacing out just now, he finally woke up completely and asked in a hoarse voice, "Wait. Sorry, what did you say?"
Xie Qingcheng's expression immediately darkened. "Do you have any other terms you would like to discuss with me?" he asked stiffly.
What terms?
He hadn't caught a word of what Xie Qingcheng had said—not even whatever Xie Qingcheng had been roughly paraphrasing as he moved his lips just a moment ago…
Dammit, what the hell did he promise Xie Qingcheng?
Meanwhile, Xie Qingcheng felt that he was being rather lenient with He Yu. He didn't even berate He Yu for the damn mess that happened last night.
Of course, the main reason for that was because he truly didn't want to bring up that scalp-prickling kiss again.
When it came to He Yu's current medical condition, it was one thing if he didn't see it, but since he had, he couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Even if it weren't for He Jiwei, even if he were just a regular patient acting this way in front of him, Xie Qingcheng wouldn't be able to remain an idle spectator.
He couldn't treat He Yu like he had in the past, as his personal doctor, but he could at least help restrain He Yu's emotions a little and give him a few pointers.
And it didn't hurt that over the course of this process, he could have He Yu do some grunt work for him. He Yu's ability to do manual labor was quite useful when he was being obedient. He was clever and quick-witted, sturdy and strong. If Xie Qingcheng could make use of him like he did in the past, it would count as a way of evening the score after he got licked by a dog.
He would be able to kill two birds with one stone.
Noticing that He Yu had zoned out, he impatiently repeated his proposal in simple terms. "After you wrap up filming, come to the medical school and train yourself under my supervision. During that time, I'll have you do some work for me as a form of distraction. Don't spend all your time wallowing and overthinking. Since you have someone you like, you should promptly adjust your mental state and learn to control your emotions as quickly as possible. It's for your own good."
After a moment of silence, He Yu said, "She has someone she likes right now, and it's not me."
Xie Qingcheng sighed. "The girl you like is young, right?"
"…Yes."
"The future is unpredictable. Not to mention, even if she doesn't fall for you in the future, you might start liking a different girl. If you can control your symptoms when the time comes, then that would be good too."
He Yu took a moment to think, then asked, "Why aren't you asking who it is that I like?"
"What does that have to do with me?"
He Yu bowed his head and a hint of mockery flickered in his lowered eyes. "True."
He thought back to their conversation at the police station.
At the time, Xie Qingcheng said there was absolutely no one who could possibly fall for someone like He Yu, that he would fail as a matter of course.
He had felt as though he'd been viciously slapped across the face. Back then, he thought that if he could get together with Xie Xue, he would insist on seeing Xie Qingcheng lose control. He wanted to see Xie Qingcheng break down. But now, everything was reversed.
It was Xie Qingcheng who got to see him in this unspeakably pathetic state instead.
If he were to retreat at this point, then he really would have lost all his pride before Xie Qingcheng…
He Yu closed his eyes for a moment, then smiled. "Be honest. In the end, did you come just to watch me make a fool of myself?"
"You can think that if you like."
He Yu didn't know what to say.
Upon meeting that man's apathetic yet slightly challenging gaze, the darkness in He Yu's heart deepened.
He truly disliked seeing this type of expression on Xie Qingcheng. He'd seen it countless times as he grew up, and each time, he could vividly sense Xie Qingcheng's apathy, as well as his irritating aura of strength.
He Yu brooded for quite some time before he finally looked up at Xie Qingcheng and asked, "You want me to distract myself by working for you? What exactly do you want me to do?"
"I haven't decided yet," Xie Qingcheng answered, utterly blasé. "But you've worked for me before and you know the type of person I am. To give you a taste of hardship, I'm not someone who will let you off so easily."
"…Are you doing this to punish me, Professor?"
Xie Qingcheng paused, then arched his brow slightly. "Are you afraid?"
Having lost his pride already, He Yu didn't want to lose his dignity as well. "Professor, you must be joking, I'm not afraid of anything."
Hearing his answer, Xie Qingcheng lowered his head and took out a cigarette. He held it between his teeth and mumbled, "Hopefully you mean it. Don't start crying and say you want to give up after just three days. The lighter's by the head of the bed—pass it to me."
He Yu ignored him and got off the bed. He headed toward the bathroom to brush his teeth and gargle. Even though any lingering aftertaste of the kiss from yesterday was already long gone, He Yu was still deeply disgusted. At the thought of how he'd gotten the wrong person yesterday and actually kissed a man with such passionate fervor, his entire body felt uncomfortable and he was determined to clean himself properly.
Before he entered the bathroom, he turned back to glance at the person who'd been the recipient of his passionate advances yesterday once more. This time, his head was crystal clear—an exemplary gentleman, as though the person who had pinned Xie Qingcheng down and kissed him like he was in heat was someone else entirely. "Forcing me to inhale secondhand smoke cannot be considered a part of my training; it is no different than a drawn-out murder. If you want to smoke, please do it outside."
With that, He Yu closed the bathroom door and went to wash up.
Facing the bathroom mirror, He Yu pensively touched the lips that Xie Qingcheng had bitten to the point of bleeding last night…
He bent down to wash his face and grabbed the faucet.
Tendons protruded slightly from the back of his hand as he forcefully twisted the tap tight; the flow of water ceased in an instant. He straightened up and gazed at the person in the mirror.
What training? Didn't Xie Qingcheng just want to keep laughing at his expense, tormenting him and exploiting him?
This time, he'd really miscalculated when he messed with that old pervert Xie Qingcheng.