"Why the freaking price hike again?!"
Nami was haggling with a News Coo! Those News Coos in the pirate world were something else!
Most animals in this world were freaky! They were almost as smart as people, and some were smarter than Luffy!
Life on the pirate ship was still pretty sweet! Ignis was chilling in his smithy, reading a book!
Ever since he'd warped into this world, Ignis, who'd never been a big reader, had gotten hooked on the history of the One Piece world!
There wasn't much else to do for kicks! He couldn't just start blasting fire for fun!
He missed his freaking game console, but what could he do?
He was a bookworm now! He was finding out that words strung together could be pretty damn cool!
He was getting to the Alabasta chronicles when Luffy's scream shattered the peace!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"
Ignis ignored Luffy! He was always acting like a moron!
If I'd read more books in my old life, maybe I'd be making an extra 500 bucks a month!
Too bad! But he still believed that knowledge was power! Even in the pirate world!
Then, a bunch of other people started yelling outside!
Luffy must've really screwed up this time!
Ignis was still sitting in his smithy when Luffy kicked down his freaking door!
"Ignis! We're both wanted criminals!!!"
Ugh! Fine! He'd take a peek! He was kinda curious about his bounty anyway!
Luffy: 30,000,000 Berries
Blacksmith Ignis: 29,990,000 Berries
"I got 10,000 Berries more than you!"
29,990,000 Berries, huh? The Navy probably didn't want a vice-captain's bounty to be higher than the captain's!
Usopp was squinting at the figure in Luffy's poster! He recognized the back of his own head, cheering like an idiot!
"Crap! Now we got 29,990,000 and 30,000,000 Berries on this ship!"
"That's 59,990,000 Berries total! This is a freaking nightmare! Every bounty hunter in the world's gonna be after us now!"
Nami looked like she had a migraine! 59,990,000 Berries was enough to make any bounty hunter's eyes pop! Marine HQ would be gunning for 'em too!
The danger zone was between 30 million and 100 million Berries! The bounty hunters coming after you wouldn't be too strong!
Over 100 million Berries, and the bounty hunters stopped chasing you for the money!
But for Nami, there was a silver lining!
"Whoa, Vice-Captain! You look so freaking scary!"
Nami was practically giggling, pointing at Ignis's poster! It was a close-up of his face when he was looking down at Arlong, about to deliver the final blow!
The unsolved mystery of the pirate world: who drew these freaking posters? And how did they always get the most unflattering angles?!
Ignis thought he was a pretty chill guy! But most people would probably think he was a bad dude looking at that poster!
"You guys are boring! I'm going back to smithing! Don't miss me!"
"No way! We're in Loguetown! You gotta come shopping with me!"
The Straw Hats docked their ship! The sight of the bustling town made everyone's eyes light up!
Luffy wanted to see the place where the Pirate King was executed, and where his own journey had begun!
Usopp needed to stock up on materials for his weapons! He wasn't Ignis! He couldn't just magic up freaking metal outta thin air!
Zoro planned to buy a new sword! A single Kitetsu wasn't enough for a three-sword style!
Sanji was gonna buy cooking supplies!
Ignis didn't wanna buy anything! He wanted to chill in his smithy! But Nami had dragged him along!
Before they left, she'd even loaned Zoro some cash at a killer interest rate! Ever since she'd gotten her hands on that 100 million Berries, she was the richest person on the ship!
"Whoa! Double interest?! You're a freaking loan shark!"
"Zoro's willing to pay! You want a loan? I'll give you a discount!"
"Nah! You're playing favorites!"
"Hehehe!"
This woman was always scheming to make a buck! 100 million Berries was enough to retire!
It was enough to live the high life!
100 million Berries was worth about 5 million Chinese yuan!
Some people would never be satisfied with 5 million yuan!
Nami dragged Ignis into a clothing store!
Then, she started trying on outfits!
"How's this one?"
A fur coat and a low-cut top! Luxurious and sexy!
"Looks good."
"What about this one?"
A turtleneck sweater and a necklace! Gentle and elegant!
"Looks good."
"And this one?"
A qipao dress and earrings! Sophisticated and classy!
"Looks good."
"That's all you can say? 'Looks good'?"
"I'm not good with words! And I know you ain't gonna buy any of 'em!"
Even so, Nami was a natural model! She could rock any style!
The shop owner watched Nami try on a mountain of clothes! He rubbed his hands together and flashed a slimy grin!
"You look amazing in everything, madam! Which one will you be taking home?"
Nami held up five fingers!
"You want all of 'em?!"
The owner almost jumped for joy!
"Nope! I think I'd rather buy something more casual."
Then, she grabbed Ignis and left the store!
The owner forced a smile through his tears and croaked out, "Welcome back any time!" Ignis felt kinda bad for the guy!
"You got 100 million Berries! And you're still that stingy?!"
"Thrift is a virtue!"
"Money's for having fun! Spend it!"
Ignis couldn't change Nami! Thrift was in her freaking DNA!
They went to a cheaper store, and Nami put Ignis through another freaking fashion show!
She finally picked out dozens of outfits and paid the bill!
Ignis stared at the mountain of clothes in Nami's arms! It was taller than she was!
He knew women were hardcore shoppers, but this was a new level!
The second she paid, Nami acted like she couldn't lift the clothes! She turned to Ignis with a pathetic look!
Tch! Ignis caved!
Two bags in his left hand, two bags in his right! Nami's hands were freaking empty!
The stuff didn't weigh much, just clothes! It was easy work for Ignis!
He hummed a tune, strolled down the street, and enjoyed the eye candy!
"Ignis, do you hate pirates?"
"I'm a pirate, ain't I?"
"I hate pirates! And I'm a pirate too!"
Ignis realized she had a point!
In this messed-up world, the scummy pirates outnumbered the dreamers by a mile!
Not everyone had a dream, but everyone had a freaking desire!
"Guess that's something we have in common, huh?"
"Two people who hate pirates turned into pirates!"
While they were chatting and laughing, Nami suddenly looked up at the sky!
"The air feels weird! It's gonna rain! Let's get back to the ship!"
They hadn't gone far when they saw Luffy! He was being dragged to the execution platform!
---
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