Melinda, gripping the steering wheel again, kept glancing at Li Feng while her right hand seemed uncontrollably drawn to a certain switch.
She knew what the switch did—she had seen Li Feng flip it earlier to activate the RV's flight mode, which meant the switch was directly related to the vehicle's ability to fly.
Li Feng, sprawled on the couch guzzling beer, twitched his eyelids as he exchanged glances with Melinda. Seeing the mix of threats and pleading in her eyes, he sighed in fond exasperation. "Listen, beautiful, wanting to fly isn't the problem. But I'm seriously drained right now and need to rest. I don't have the energy to cast spells to secure all the furniture. How about this—if you promise not to pull any crazy flying stunts, I'll let you take it for another spin. Deal?"
Beside them, Coulson, his mind still haunted by their last airborne experience, hesitated before speaking up with a hint of lingering dread. "Mel, I think Austin has a point. Maybe keep it steady this time?" He gestured toward the three pale-faced researchers. "They've been working nonstop with us for days and are exhausted. They thought they'd finally get to rest after the mission, but now we're already en route to the next one—and they're coming along. Let them catch some sleep before we arrive, okay?"
Melinda pursed her lips, flipping the flight switch while nodding reluctantly. "Fine, got it."
The moment the words left her mouth, she slammed the accelerator to the floor.
True to her word, Melinda didn't attempt any aerial acrobatics this time—the RV flew relatively smoothly. But Li Feng still felt like he was hearing things.
The RV: Damn it, my front end is flat as a board… You trying to grill a steak on my face with all this wind friction? And not just any steak—a well-done one…
Li Feng shook his head, dispelling the hallucination. He shot a deadpan look at Melinda, who was clearly having the time of her life, then glanced mournfully at the spilled beer from his jostled glass. Rolling his eyes, he asked, "Mel, my dear, did you just hear my RV talking?"Melinda, thoroughly enjoying the thrill of flight, gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands, curiously straining her ears to listen to what the RV was saying. However, apart from the sound of the engine, she admitted she couldn't hear anything.
Coulson, seated beside Li Feng, wasn't faring much better. After listening intently and hearing nothing, he even cupped his hands behind his ears to create makeshift amplifiers. Still straining to listen, he asked curiously, "Are you sure the RV can talk? What language does it use? Is the sound infrasonic or ultrasonic?"
Li Feng was momentarily stunned: Do you think my RV is a bat or a giraffe?
Rolling his eyes at Coulson, Li Feng suppressed a laugh and feigned surprise, saying, "Humans have human speech, dogs have dog speech, and cars naturally have their own language."
Seeing Coulson's expression of enlightenment and earnest curiosity, Li Feng couldn't hold back any longer. Pointing toward the RV's engine, he burst into laughter and said, "Can't you hear the engine saying, 'My heart's about to give out, could the beautiful Melinda ease up on the gas and maybe toss me a few heart pills?'"
If Coulson still couldn't tell Li Feng was messing with him at this point, he might as well jump out of the RV—without a parachute.
Coulson simply ignored the laughing Li Feng, threw his jacket over his face, and lay down on the sofa for a quick nap.
Melinda hesitated for a moment before easing off the accelerator slightly, then ignored Li Feng and focused on enjoying her flight.
The location where Mjolnir had fallen wasn't too far from where Li Feng currently was. With the RV flying in a straight line, the group arrived near Mjolnir after about half a day of flight.
From the driver's seat, Melinda spotted the large crater ahead and decided to slowly land the RV on the ground, switching to normal driving speed and mode as they approached the crowd.
There was no other choice—Mjolnir's landing site had already drawn a sizable crowd. If a flying RV suddenly appeared among them, who knew what kind of headlines would appear in tomorrow's papers.
They might even spin tales about aliens invading Earth, sparking panic-buying at supermarkets as people hoarded food and toilet paper.
If things escalated further—say, leading to riots—Fury would probably drag Coulson or Melinda into the public eye to defuse the crisis.
Melinda wasn't about to shoulder that kind of blame—she and Coulson together couldn't handle it.
Soon, the RV came to a smooth stop beside the crater left by Mjolnir's impact.
Knowing Thor wouldn't appear among the crowd just yet, Li Feng couldn't be bothered to get out and join the spectacle. Instead, he leisurely sipped beer and munched on peanuts while gazing at Mjolnir through the window.
Nearby, Coulson, who had just woken up, stretched and straightened his collar and sleeves before pressing his face against the window, watching curiously as a middle-aged man in the distance attempted to haul Mjolnir home with his pickup truck.Unfortunately, the hammerhead of Mjolnir was forged from the core of a dying star, and with Odin casting a bunch of unknown spells on it, the hammer couldn't be moved even by a pickup truck, let alone a train.
So, the fate of this pickup truck attempting to pull Mjolnir was predictable—the entire truck bed got ripped off.
But Coulson didn't know Mjolnir's secret. Seeing such a small hammer defy even a pickup truck, he widened his eyes in disbelief.
Coincidentally, Coulson happened to have a mage familiar with Asgard nearby. Curious, he asked, "Austin, do you know why this hammer can't be moved?"
"Because it loves the earth too deeply," Li Feng quipped. "It's rare for it to visit Earth, so of course it wants to bond with Mother Earth."
Coulson: Yeah, right.
Of course, jokes aside, Li Feng took a sip of his drink and explained to Coulson why mortals couldn't lift Mjolnir.
As for Odin's so-called promise that "whoever lifts Mjolnir shall possess Thor's power or become the king of Asgard," Li Feng thought it was nonsense and didn't bother elaborating. He just vaguely mentioned it, leaving it up to Coulson whether he caught on or not.
In truth, from Li Feng's perspective, the real reason no one but Thor could lift Mjolnir lay with Odin himself.
Mjolnir was, after all, a divine weapon. Did anyone really think Odin would be generous enough to let just anyone wield it? Please.
Don't be fooled by Odin's current benevolent appearance. His status wasn't earned through a charming smile but through sheer brute force—fists the size of sandbags.
Back in the day, if anyone dared defy Odin, he'd show up at their doorstep before dawn with an army, ready to beat them into submission.
Given that this was a ruler who ruled by might, the idea that he'd casually hand over a divine weapon—let alone his throne—to just anyone was laughable.
Even Captain America could only wield Mjolnir with one hand and his shield in the other after Odin's death. Before that, the best he could do was slightly budge the hammer. Clearly, Odin had something to do with it. Otherwise, why couldn't Cap lift it earlier? It's not like he wasn't "worthy" back then.
So, Li Feng was certain: if anyone actually managed to lift Mjolnir, Odin would immediately march over with his spear, ready to fight. The excuse was ready-made—if you couldn't even defeat an old man like Odin, how could you protect Asgard?
Because of this, Li Feng never even considered trying to lift Mjolnir.
Besides, he had some self-awareness.
Forget his misdeeds in other worlds—just in the Marvel universe alone, to obtain Hellfire, he had hunted down Carter Slade, a man with little life left who had already renounced violence to become a good man.Though he had the ability to subdue the Abomination and even potentially restore its sanity, Li Feng chose instead to turn it into an obedient mummy. His reasoning? Simply wanting to test the effects of resurrection magic and acquire a powerful, compliant bodyguard.
As for keeping soul-devouring Dementors by his side—well, let's not even go there. Suffice to say, Li Feng never considered himself a virtuous man. If anything, he was more like the devil's righteous counterpart.
Since he wasn't worthy of lifting the hammer—and doing so might even be life-threatening—Li Feng would have to be an idiot to touch Mjolnir.
The hammerhead was forged from the core of a dying star? And enchanted by King Odin himself...
While pondering how to handle Mjolnir, Coulson slipped on his jacket, clipped his S.H.I.E.L.D. badge to his chest, and ordered the tactical team to disperse the nearby crowd.
The excuse? Radiation contamination from the hammer, of course.
Coulson was quite proud of how smoothly this tactic always worked. With three researchers in hazmat suits already approaching Mjolnir with detection equipment, the radiation cover story would only seem more convincing.
Before long, the onlookers obediently scattered under the watchful guns of the tactical team.
Once only S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel remained, Coulson returned to the mobile command center, where he found Li Feng sipping liquor while watching Tom and Jerry. With a smile, Coulson said, "Austin, mind opening a door for me?"
"What door?" Li Feng, thoroughly engrossed in the cartoon, looked up in confusion. "Which door in my house do you want opened?"
"A portal to the Triskelion," Coulson replied, gesturing toward the three researchers circling Mjolnir. "With just our small team and no construction materials, how long do you think it'll take to build a proper containment facility for Mjolnir?"
Li Feng scratched his head and casually opened a portal to Fury's office. "Why bother with a facility? Just throw a tarp over Mjolnir and call it a day." He narrowed his eyes. "You're trying to study Mjolnir before Thor comes looking for it, aren't you?"
Coulson didn't deny it. In fact, Li Feng had hit the nail on the head—he didn't just want to study the hammer; if possible, he also wanted to collect Thor's personal data, including his DNA.