Inside the Triskelion, Fury was seated at his desk when a portal suddenly materialized before him. His first instinct? Draw his gun. This could be considered one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fine traditions—whenever strange people or incidents appeared before them, the agents' first, second, and third response was always to draw their damn guns.
However, this time, Fury had some ulterior motives when he pulled his weapon. After all, it wasn't his first time seeing a portal—how could he not know it was Li Feng arriving?
Only after Fury clearly saw Li Feng's face and Coulson stepping through the portal behind him did he coldly slam a peculiarly designed pistol onto his desk. "Opening a portal in the office is a decent choice—at least fewer people will know you're a mage. But couldn't you give a heads-up before popping in? Don't think I won't shoot you a few times if I feel like it."
Li Feng peeked at the strange pistol and scoffed, "You think a mage's shield is for decoration? If you end up shooting yourself, the most I'll do is send you a couple more wreaths." Scratching his head, he turned to Coulson and asked, "Does your boss have a wife? If not, I can make a few black paper dolls to burn for him—free of charge—to help with his... physiological needs."
"Heh," Coulson's lips twitched as he walked straight past Li Feng toward Fury. After a few days of interaction, he'd learned that the best way to deal with Li Feng's nonsense was to ignore him. Leaving Li Feng to stew in awkward silence was the most effective approach.
"Sir," Coulson handed Fury the collected data on Mjolnir as he reached him. "These are close-up photos of Mjolnir, along with some basic readings we've gathered."
Seeing Coulson and Fury engrossed in studying the materials, completely treating him as thin air, Li Feng wasn't annoyed—just a little bored.
After a moment's thought, he strolled over to the desk, picked up the phone, and randomly dialed an internal extension. "Hello anyone there?"
Soon, a sweet, almost sultry female voice came through the receiver. "Director, how may I assist you?"
Li Feng cleared his throat and imitated Fury's voice and tone. "This is Fury. You may address me as Lord Egghead."
The previously alluring voice on the other end fell silent. After a long pause, it returned with forced laughter. "Director, I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat it?"
Li Feng glanced at Fury, whose hands were already reaching for the strange pistol, and rolled his eyes. "Send some roast chicken and a case of chilled beer to my office."
With that, he hung up, ignoring the gun now pointed at him, and snatched the peculiar pistol from Fury's grasp. Turning the high-tech weapon over in his hands, he remarked, "This is an energy pistol, isn't it? What, you think this thing can take me down?"
Fury, now disarmed, remained stone-faced, seemingly unbothered by the loss of his weapon—almost as if he'd let Li Feng take it on purpose. But then again, he was after all the head of the agency. Even with Li Feng's lousy skills, Fury reckoned he could take on ten of him post-spell.
And that's with one hand and a leg glued to his body.
Fury: "I know your shield can deflect any attack, so this little thing won't work on you."
"Then why even bring it out?" Li Feng tilted his head, smirking as he shook the pistol. "You planning to use this against Thor?"
Fury nodded, then shook his head, prompting Li Feng to instinctively reach for Fury's forehead, speaking with grave concern: "Little Black, you're so sick you're nodding and shaking your head at the same time. Maybe you should take a few days off and rest before coming back to work."
Fury's face darkened instantly, his lone eye blazing with hellfire as he swatted Li Feng's hand away. Taking a deep breath, he slowly explained why he'd brought out the little pistol from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s warehouse.
Both myth and Li Feng's own accounts had made it clear that Thor had backing from forces Earth couldn't afford to provoke. A tiny organization like S.H.I.E.L.D. would have to be suicidal to shoot at Thor.
What worried Fury was why Mjolnir had come to Earth. Mjolnir was a weapon—under what circumstances would Thor abandon his beloved hammer?
For now, Fury could think of two possibilities.
First, Fury analyzed whether Thor might be dead. After all, gods in Norse mythology always seemed to be either "in battle or on their way to one," so it was entirely possible Thor had perished in some fight.
Considering Thor's father had reached the nostalgic old age phase, and given his position as King of Asgard, he couldn't possibly handle royal duties while staring at Mjolnir and reminiscing.
Therefore, Odin would most likely want to seal away Mjolnir so he could focus on governance. But Mjolnir was still a divine weapon—a battle hammer that belonged on the battlefield. Combined with the legend of divine weapons choosing their masters, Mjolnir might have fled to Earth to find a successor rather than gather dust in a vault. At least in human hands, it would see more use.
If that were the case, Fury would gladly roll out a "Welcome" banner for Mjolnir's arrival and personally arrange for S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to try lifting the hammer one by one. If possible, Fury wouldn't mind wielding it himself to return to frontline combat.
Second—and this was Fury's biggest concern—someone might have fought Thor, overpowered him, and seized Mjolnir before tossing it to Earth.
This would mean Earth wasn't just getting a Thunder God but also Thor's adversary. Worse, the planet could become a battleground for two deities.
So now, Fury wanted to clarify Thor's—or Asgard's—stance toward Earth and whether his energy pistol could provide backup in a fight against Thor.
If it could, no problem—Fury would immediately draft a proposal on "Establishing Diplomatic Relations with Asgard."
If not, he might as well grow his hair back so he could pull at it occasionally to relieve stress.
After hearing Fury's explanation, Li Feng stared in disbelief before giving a thumbs-up. "Damn, you really overthink things."
As he spoke, Li Feng studied Fury thoughtfully: Just supporting Thor, not trying to take him down too? Even my toes wouldn't buy that.
But damn, has sitting in the director's chair too long made him predict Thor fighting on Earth? Though the opponent isn't human...
Fury, maintaining a calm expression, noticed Li Feng's prolonged silence but chose not to dwell on it. Instead, he pointed at the energy pistol. "You still haven't told me how effective this is."
"Me? How would I know? I've never seen this little gun in action." Li Feng aimed the pistol at an office potted plant, then glanced at Fury's stoic face. "Want me to test it out and let you know?" Fury glanced at the flowerpot, neither nodding nor shaking his head, just maintaining his poker face as he stared at Li Feng.
This left Li Feng utterly baffled: What the hell does that mean?
To be fair, Li Feng was rather pitiable. He had been in the Marvel world for quite some years now, and despite living in gun-friendly America, the number of times he had handled a firearm could be counted on one hand. He didn't even know the magazine capacity of a standard pistol.
It was like going to Las Vegas without visiting a casino, traveling to Thailand without seeing a ladyboy, or touring Japan without stepping into a red-light district—utterly tragic.
Now, with a gun in his hand—a high-tech one at that—the only thought in Li Feng's mind was: Screw it, I'm gonna blast first and ask questions later. Or rather, fire a few shots for fun before anything else.
With that in mind, Li Feng stopped wasting time trying to decipher Fury's sudden bout of facial paralysis. He immediately pulled the trigger.
As the muzzle emitted a blue-white energy beam that pierced through the flowerpot, Li Feng smacked his lips and disdainfully tossed the gun back to Fury. Squatting beside the shattered pot, he remarked, "If this were an Asgardian, your little toy would barely scratch them. And if someone managed to make Thor drop his weapon and flee, how much use do you think your gadget would really be?"
"Just a scratch?" Fury murmured, stroking the energy pistol with his head slightly lowered, his lone eye narrowed as if talking to himself or questioning Li Feng. "What if we increase the energy output?"
Li Feng shrugged, signaling he had no idea, then eagerly said to Fury, "Unless you bring out a high-powered gun for me to test-fire a few rounds, so I can see its real impact for myself."
Letting you know I have an energy pistol is already pushing my limits. Did you really think I'd hand you a heavy-duty weapon to play with? Next thing I know, you'd walk off with it.
The left corner of Fury's lips curled slightly, flashing Li Feng a look of thick sarcasm before turning to Coulson. "Note it down in the ledger: Austin destroyed one 'Tang tri-colored porcelain flowerpot' in the office. Make sure the lawyers bill him for it."
Coulson and Li Feng exchanged glances, both convinced Fury had lost his mind—and badly at that. Tang tri-colored porcelain? A flowerpot? This extortion scheme was next-level absurd.
Just then, hearing a knock at the office door, Li Feng walked toward it while remarking, "Then you'd better hire a lawyer who can talk the dead back to life, because no judge in their right mind would believe anyone would plant a bonsai in a 'Tang tri-colored porcelain flowerpot.'"
Opening the door, Li Feng found a fully armed tactical team with weapons at the ready. He turned back to Fury and asked, "I asked for edible roast chicken and beer. What's a SWAT team doing here? Or does S.H.I.E.L.D. call their rookie agents 'roast chicken' now? That's even less believable than growing plants in a 'Tang tri-colored porcelain flowerpot.'"
Fury completely ignored Li Feng's taunts. After all, his face was dark enough—as long as he kept his poker face, no one could tell if his expression changed. Besides, as the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., he was constantly occupied with matters concerning Earth's safety. What was wrong with using a high-end flower pot to reflect his status? Was he being arrogant? Really...
Fury waved his hand at the tactical team, having the agents line up in front of him. Clearing his throat, he said, "Coulson, I'm entrusting these people to you. Protect Mjolnir while also locating Thor as quickly as possible."
"Yes, sir," Coulson replied before turning to Li Feng with a look that seemed to say, "Little bunny, be good and open the door."
Li Feng twitched at the corner of his eye. As he opened a portal with one hand, he muttered, "What kind of big international organization is this? Can't even prepare some snacks for me. So stingy..."