One day, after playing with colorful blocks, Nathan went to grab his bag from the shelf and overheard whispers from two teachers standing in the corner of the staff room. Their voices were soft, but clear enough for a little boy who was used to quietly observing.
"She's still able to teach, even though she just had a miscarriage…" one teacher whispered, glancing toward the classroom window.
"And that's not the only issue. I mean… well, you know… with her own student's father," the other teacher replied, narrowing her eyes at Nathan.
Both of them giggled. Then, one of them suddenly realized Nathan was watching. Their expression froze into awkwardness. A stiff smile was thrown at him. "Eh, Nathan… time to go home, okay?"
Nathan didn't answer. He just stared at them with a blank expression. But inside, his mind was spinning.
"They're talking about Miss Kristin? Because of Papa? So everyone knows? Even the teachers here? I'm Papa's kid… and they're talking about me too?"
On the way home, Nathan sat in the back seat without saying much. Papa glanced at him a few times through the rearview mirror.
"You tired, son?"
Nathan only shook his head. But his eyes stayed fixed on the passing trees outside the window.
"If adults can gossip however they want… why do they teach little kids? Don't they ever make mistakes themselves?" he thought angrily. Yet, as a small child, he could only bow his head in silence.
When they got home, he went straight to his room without whining. Unlike usual, Oma even thought he might be sick.
---
That day, the house was bustling from early morning. Nathan was woken up earlier than usual. After being bathed and fed, Oma took him to his room to get dressed. He looked very handsome, an ivory little suit complete with a tiny bow tie.
In front of the mirror, Nathan looked at himself with satisfaction. His chubby cheeks seemed to glow, his hair neatly combed to the side.
"Ah," he thought, "I'm getting so handsome. And I'm only three."
Soon, Papa entered the room, already ready as well. Today, he looked different, spotless white suit, polished shoes, hair neatly styled. Not the Papa who usually woke up late and wore just a T-shirt.
Nathan stared at him closely. "Wow, Papa looks handsome too… not funny like usual. Turns out he can be cool as well. Should've been like this all along."
Papa approached and gently stroked his head. "Ready to accompany Papa to the wedding, son?"
Nathan just raised his eyebrows, then hugged Papa tightly. "Yes, Pa. But remember… I still love Mama."
Papa didn't answer, but he held the hug for a long time. Perhaps too long. Perhaps Papa was still thinking of Mama too.
But that day, everything had to go on. The big day had arrived.
---
The church they went to that day was different from the usual. Not the small church on the corner of town where Opa often served, where almost all the congregation were people from NTT, dark-skinned, with their distinct accent, and a warm atmosphere like one big family.
This church was grander. Its ceilings were high, its windows tall with stained glass in bright colors. The air-conditioning blew cool air. The congregation was diverse. Some were light-skinned, some had narrow eyes. Nathan even noticed a few elderly Chinese men in formal batik shirts sitting in the front pews.
Nathan observed the scene with wonder, awe, and a hint of nervousness. "Wow… this isn't an ordinary church. The people are mixed, NTT, Javanese, Chinese…" he thought.
His little hand clutched Papa's tightly. The sound of the church organ began to play, signaling the start of the procession.
Nathan turned toward the entrance. There stood Miss Kristin, beautiful in a simple pale ivory wedding gown. Her smile was gentle, though Nathan knew… those eyes had once carried pain.
And now, before a congregation of many backgrounds, they were about to officially become a family.
Though in Nathan's chest, a quiet whisper still lingered: "I still love Mama."
Papa stood tall in front of the altar, his face tense but forcing a smile. The white suit he wore made him look different, not like the Papa who usually came home late in a wrinkled shirt. Today, he looked like the most important man in the room.
The church doors swung open. Soft music played. Everyone in the congregation rose to their feet. A woman stepped inside, escorted by an older man Nathan instantly recognized as Miss Kristin's father. Kristin's wedding dress stood out, stylish, slim-fitting, with her shoulders and back slightly exposed.
Nathan glanced left and right, noticing the congregation's awe. But he only raised an eyebrow. In his still-childish yet deeply feeling heart, he thought,
"No wonder Papa likes Miss Kristin. She is pretty… But Mama is still prettier."
He lowered his head for a moment. "Mama, I haven't forgotten you. Even though Papa is getting married again now."
Miss Kristin's steps toward the altar felt slow and heavy in Nathan's eyes. Her gown swept across the marble floor of the church, its shimmer almost blinding. The congregation smiled, some snapped photos, but Nathan just sat still in the front pew, clutching Oma's hand.
Papa and Miss Kristin now stood side by side before the pastor. Papa's smile looked nervous, while Miss Kristin gazed at him with hopeful eyes.
The pastor began to speak, his baritone voice filling the room:
"Marriage is a sacred vow between two souls…"
Nathan's focus began to drift. He stared at the church ceiling, then glanced at the rows of flowers by the altar. "So many flowers. If Mama were the one getting married again, it would be simpler, warmer, and smell of roses."
When the pastor asked, "Do you take this woman…?" Nathan instinctively turned his head toward Papa.
Papa answered firmly, "I do."
Nathan immediately looked away. "Papa's really getting married again…"
A tightness filled his chest, even though he didn't fully understand what the word married meant. But he knew one thing: from today on, Mama would no longer be the only one in Papa's heart.
Then Miss Kristin answered, "I do," her voice almost trembling.
And when they kissed, Nathan squeezed his eyes shut. In his heart, he whispered softly,
"Congratulations, Pa… But Mama, I'll always love you."