Lowell's eyes widened at the tongue sweeping across the roof of his mouth. Even as Felix kissed him, he stared as if he were about to devour him whole. It was as if the concept of closing one's eyes during a kiss had never occurred to him. The heat in his gaze was so intense, Lowell feared he might actually burn.
It's no the first time I've received a look this intense....
Maybe it was the way Felix treated him like a child—it made that searing stare all the more embarrassing. In the past, Lowell had dealt with similar situations with ease, but never had he felt this humiliated.
Something about this feels wrong.
Thoughts flew through Lowell's mind in a rapid succession. Yes, he had wanted to build a familial atmosphere with Felix—but not to become involved physically like this. Felix had never shown any inclination toward such intimacy, so Lowell had written off that night as nothing more than a pheromone-induced accident.
Lowell had never had good luck with romance. Each relationships had started with the other person asking to date him, only to end in either a breakup or infidelity. His last partner had not only betrayed him but also outed him, costing him his job. There was no reason for him to want another romantic entanglement.
Maybe it's because our relationship started physically? I should have just said we'd be like business partners, nothing more.
He felt confident about being a good counselor and even a good family member to Felix—but not a good lover. As he entertained the thought that he might have been naive to imagine they could be married without any romantic or sexual dimension, Felix gently grazed Lowell's tongue with his teeth. It wasn't really a bite—more of a careful scrape—but Lowell had been so lost in his thoughts that it startled him.
Felix furrowed his brow slightly, as if to scold him for not paying attention, and pressed the kiss more aggressively. His tongue thrust forward hungrily, as if desperate to reach Lowell's throat.
Pretty sure I was his first kiss....so how is he already this good at it?
Lowell resented his own body for responding so eagerly, even as his mind recoiled. Worried things would go too far, he lightly tapped Felix on the shoulder. Felix reluctantly broke the kiss, looking unsatisfied.
"Why? Kissing me...is it unpleasant?"
Felix had a way of switching from intimidating to vulnerable in an instant—and whenever he did, Lowell's heart softened.
"Of course not. You just caught me off guard, that's all."
Even as he struggled to determine whether Felix was genuinely attracted to him or merely acting on Alpha instincts, Lowell answered gently.
"I'll take you back."
Felix looked at Lowell's flushed face, clearly suppressing the urge to kiss him again. His expression seemed just as confused as Lowell's—he, to, didn't seem to understand why he had done it.
"Thank you."
Lowell kept the distance between them unchanged. He worried that if he acted startled or pulled away, Felix would misunderstand and blame himself for being unwanted. He didn't refuse the offer to be escorted either—for the same reason. If the Count Clarke household had something to say, Lowell was ready to deal with it.