Inside – Dunphy's House – March 1996 (2.5 years)
Phil left the TV on CNBC. He'd been flipping for Barney, but coffee won the battle.
Anchors shouted, numbers scrolled like ants, red and green arrows flashed like crayons on parade.
NEWS: "In special segment this week: Microsoft's meteoric rise. Is tech the new future? Join us to know more about the future of home tech and more. On tonight's section: Garage to Billions. BILL GATES."
I stared. Glimpses of past. Me standing amongst hundrends of students. Bill Gates on the auditorium stage of IIT Bombay, discussing the role of us students in the upcoming future of the country.
"Red bad. Green good," I declared. Bold. In typical Neil Dunphy tone. Ignoring the resurgence of bad memorise from forgotten past.
Claire froze mid-dish. "Phil… did he just—"
Phil puffed his chest like a turkey. "Our son cracked the stock market! Future mogul!"
Hailey shoved a Cheerio up her nose. Coughing violently.
'Not a single moment of peace.' I thought. 'But I love it'.
---
Later, I stacked Lego blocks: green blocks climbing, red blocks falling.
"Marchet," I whispered. Syllables grinding slowly on a mill.
Phil crouched down. "He's inventing Wall Street Jenga!"
Claire massaged her temples. "Phil. He's two and a half. Stop making this into your résumé booster."
---
Interview
Claire: "Most kids his age are obsessed with blocks. Neil… is turning them into a stock exchange. He is learning too fast for his age."
Phil: "He's a baby Warren Buffet! Except cuter and doesn't smell like old money."
Hailey: "Booooring."
---
Inner Thought
Crayons, blocks, tickers. All the same. Adults laugh at it. But I see the pattern.
---
August 1996 —Jay's House —The Probing Questions
Phones rang like alarm bells. Clients, deliveries, Jay's grumbles.
I asked: "Why grandpa chout on phone?"
Phil chuckled. "Because phones make voices louder, buddy."
Claire sighed. "Stop teaching him nonsense Phil. Honey, it's because phones run everything in business—orders, clients, meetings. Without phone things would take a long time."
I tilted my head. Confused. "So if phone stop… business stop?"
Silence.
Phil scrambled. "Not true! We have faxes! Faxes are like phone letters!"
Claire glared. "Phil. Please."
Mitchell: "He is not wrong. Landlines are necessarity for business."
Pritchett family. Staring at each other. Realising the nature of the world. They would not believe that in near future humanity will lost a whole generation to droom scrolling on Internet.
---
Interview
Claire: "It was such a simple question. But it stuck. If the phone goes out… what happens to businesses?"
Phil: "Phones matter. But balloons matter more. Balloons don't drop calls. And they keep the clients happy during house calls."
---
Inner Thought
Simple questions make them sweat. Perfect.
---
Mid August 1996 – Dunphy's House - Amazon Dot Com
Claire came home from book club with a glossy flyer. "Look at this—Amazon dot com. You can buy books… online now. Casey was bragging so much about her new computer."
Phil squinted. "So it's like Barnes & Noble… but no cappuccino? Internet is truly a wonderful place."
"Internet? Can we eat it?" I probed.
"No buddy." Ever the Phil. "It is like phone and the phone book in one. Like many balloons at a party. Sparkle baloons. Color baloons. Helium balooms to make sound like robots".
I pointed at the page. "So computer is phone? Do business? Call Friends?"
"Phil, stop with balloon analogies. You are confusing him", Claire shook her head. "Honey. Computer is not just a phone. It can do more—send letters, buy things, get information, create reports—"
Claire stopped. Knowing too well not to feed me new vocabulary if she wants to rest.
Mitchell, drying his hands in the kitchen, added: "It's like a phone, but smarter. Less yelling."
Jay, who had stopped by with groceries, snorted. "I don't trust machines. Phones I understand. Phones don't crash."
I frowned. "Then why still use phone? If phone stop, order stop."
Jay paused mid-bite. "…Kid's got a point."
---
Interview
Mitchell: "It's unsettling when your toddler nephew makes you rethink your law firm's future tech strategy."
Jay: "He's sharper than most kids. Maybe six or seven-year-olds can count better, but this one… he sees things."
Claire: "He asked me once if we ordered Hailey by phone. At this point, I wish we had." carassing the large tub of a belly on her lap.
---
Inner Thought
Questions now. Answers later. They don't get it. But they will. My questions are important. They have to realize the importance of tech, but I can't just come out and tell them. "Internet is the next big thing."
---
Late August 1996 – Dinner Announcement
Family dinner. Jay and Mitchell present. Dede absent. Claire muttered, "She's busy with her cats," stabbing the salad.
Claire folded her hands. "We have some news." Turning to me and Hailey on the couch. "You're getting a new little brother or sister."
"Yay!" Phil. Clealry more excited than the rest of us.
Hailey dropped her spoon. "No."
Phil clapped. "Sweetie, you'll love it! More hugs, more fun!"
I frowned. "Where from? Phone? Mail?"
Jay nearly spat his wine. Mitchell's shoulders shook with silent laughter.
Claire groaned. "No, Neil. Babies grow in Mommy's tummy."
I tilted my head. "So… like tomato plant?"
Phil lit up. "Yes! A tomato plant of love!"
Claire's glare could melt steel. "Phil."
Jay pushed his chair back. "I didn't sign up for this conversation tonight."
Mitchell smirked. "Isn't it a little soon for the birds and the bees talk, sis?"
Jay and Mitchell both chuckled at Claire's bright-red ears.
Hailey perked up. "Birds good. Brother bad."
I stiffened. "Birds deliver the baby? No! Too scary. No birds!"
Phil panicked. "Not birds, buddy! Birds are… uh… symbolic!"
Claire facepalmed. "Phil. Stop Talking."
---
Interview
Jay: "I came for dinner, not a toddler-level sex-ed lecture. I'm too old for this."
Mitchell: "Claire's face when Neil said Amazon delivers babies? Priceless. I want that framed."
Hailey: "Birds good. Baby bad." holding a head torn barbie doll.
Phil: "Tomato plant of love. It's catchy!" ken in his hands.
Claire: "Next time, I'm just saying God sends the baby. End of story."
---
Inner Thought
If they can't explain babies, how will they understand? Dot com bubble. Call and Put Options. Adults panic at the wrong things.
---
September 1996 – Visionary
Nighttime. My crib.
I drew four people using crayons on a blank A4 sheet. Sorted in order of importance the speedrun. Not as family, but as RPG players
Phil – Bard. Loud, cheerful, mostly useless in combat. Keeps morale alive with balloons.
Claire – Tank. Strong, stubborn, absorbs everything.
Hailey – Chaos DPS. Attacks random targets. Mostly me. Always pulls aggro.
Me – Strategist. I ask, they answer, they think.
Of course, strategists need to be protected. Or maybe, it was in the order of people I was closest with. In reverse.
New baby = "Unknown Class." Could be Healer. Could be Mage. Or just more chaos.
I smirked into my blanket.
---
Interview
Claire: "Sometimes he stares at us like chess pieces. I don't know if I should be proud or worried. He seems more Pritchett then all of us combined."
Phil: "If I'm the bard, then I'm the cool bard. Like Bon Jovi. Not… flutes."
---
Inner Thought
ROB, I swear—don't mess with me. I had a crush on Ariel Winter in my last life. Now if she's my newborn sister? That's cosmic trolling. But you'll definitely pay for that.