Moms! So much is in that word. They shower us with warmth and care, they love us no matter who we are. They worry about us, even if we're okay. They can scold us for the smallest flaws because they want to see us perfect.
"All the pride in the world comes from mothers. Without the sun, flowers don't bloom; without love, there is no happiness; without a woman, there is no love; without a mother, there is neither a poet nor a villain," — Drakken and Gorky said. Although I'm not sure Aleksei Maksimovich ever said anything about villains.
Why all this lyrical digression? Because suddenly my mom called me on my cell phone. And I, who was once an orphan, was simply at a loss. This call brought back an incredible number of memories, but for some reason, they were not accompanied by the usual migraine; on the contrary, they were filled with warmth. Despite his life's choice, Drakken loved his mother dearly and absolutely did not want to drag her into his new job. I can confidently tell you, no one cared for the mad scientist like his own mother. She supported all his decisions and knew how to find the positives in everything.
And so, Dr. Lipsky's mother decided to visit her son at his workplace. And I, having received all his memories and emotions, simply could not refuse her, could not not accept her. But... How do I tell my mom that I'm a villain now?!
***
A helicopter landed on the helipad, scattering all sorts of debris and dust with gusts of wind. I'll have to put the migrant workers to work more carefully. The boss was wound up to the maximum today. Out of impatience, he could literally start walking on the walls if Shego didn't constantly rein him in. He had long instructed everyone that they were participants in some TV show and that closed-set filming was taking place on this island. In any case, the cover story, while weak, was very flexible. And in any confusing situation, they were to refer to the strange screenwriter's idea. You know how those creative types are, right?
— Drew-oo-oo-sie! — exclaimed a short little something that nimbly jumped out of the helicopter. It moved in one smooth motion toward the welcoming party. And so quickly that even Shego herself probably couldn't have done it.
— Mom! Don't embarrass me in front of my colleagues! — the boss said, embarrassed in front of the woman of a certain age. Shego took a new look at the guest. She felt that after this meeting, the stock of teases for the doc would at least triple!
By the way, the guest herself looked like a typical mom, stuck between the states of "woman of a certain age" and "beginning grandmother." Short stature, the so-called "widow's hump" on her neck, an oval face with a prominent sharp chin, reddish, obviously dyed hair styled into a standing hairdo. A terrible yellow dress with turquoise flowers, but the green triangular earrings and bright green tinted glasses looked good. At least, in Shego's opinion.
— Oh, come on, Drew! They'll understand! — the woman smiled and ruffled the boss's cheek, — Aren't you going to introduce me to your colleagues?
— This is Shego, my first assistant and my deputy. There is no one more knowledgeable about the affairs of this place than she is, — Dr. Drakken introduced her. The benevolent mother's gaze made me feel an unexpected chill. It was slightly distorted by her glasses, but she felt like a butterfly pinned by an experienced entomologist. But those feelings quickly passed, — Shego, this is my mom, Mrs. Lipsky.
— It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Lipsky.
— Oh, well, you're a dear, it's a huge pleasure for me too! — The yellow spot nimbly appeared next to her again, — I entrust my son to you, darling. It's nice to know that he is in reliable hands.
— I-I-I don't understand w-what you're talking about, — Shego tried to look independent, but the treacherous blush on her cheeks still gave her away. Mrs. Lipsky smiled knowingly and patronizingly, patting her on the back.
— Mom, I don't know what you said to my subordinate, but know this...
— Yes, yes, Drew, only you can bully them, — his mother interrupted him, giggling at such an unexpectedly responsible son. The boss was embarrassed again, but quickly pulled himself together and continued.
— And this is Norman Adams. He is in charge of almost all the inventory and household, — Drakken introduced the old man. And then he switched to a half-whisper, — He's gotten so into the role, Mom; you could say he never leaves it. Please, don't focus on it.
— Words cannot express how pleased I am to see you, madam, — the old butler bowed.
— Oh, what a well-mannered man! It's mutual, Mr. Adams, — she waved her hand vaguely, — So what do you do here, Drew? I didn't understand anything from your explanations.
— Let's go, Mom. I'll show you everything here. As I said, we're filming a special TV show here. The island is closed for now, though. Only for guests invited to the filming, — they went to the Lair of Evil, which had temporarily become the equivalent of Fort Boyard.
— Incredible, Drew! But aren't you a doctor of physical and mathematical sciences? Why do they need such a director? — Mrs. Lipsky stammered in surprise.
— Um... Well, since the filming location is quite heavily stuffed with all sorts of equipment, the studio decided that the director must be sufficiently qualified, — the boss found a way out.
— Is that so? Incredible! — She looked around the corridors they were walking through with such interest, — And what is the essence of your show?
— Well... — He looked hopefully at Shego, and she hurried to intervene.
— We invite guests, and they go through various challenges, — the assistant came up with an excuse.
— Is it like a show with an obstacle course? Very interesting!
They continued to show everything around to the inquisitive mother for a long time, and, as it seemed to Shego, they didn't really mess up anywhere. Even the confused migrant workers, who almost ruined everything, were introduced as technical staff. And they also had to quickly turn off all the traps. But Mrs. Lipsky was very pleased.
— Oh, Drew, I'm so glad you found yourself. You smile more! Although that blue makeup really doesn't suit you. Thank you so much for the tour, — his mom was already saying goodbye to everyone while the helicopter warmed up.
— Oh, it's nothing, Mom, I'm just glad you came. We'll be waiting for you again, — Drakken smiled uncertainly but warmly, hugging his mother.
— Indeed, Mrs. Lipsky, come again! — Shego added a little maliciously to embarrass the boss even more.
— Oh, you're a dear! You can just call me Mom! — and before Shego could say anything, she added, — Or Mama Lipsky, if you're shy.
— Mom! — Drakken exclaimed.
— I've been your mom for thirty-one years, Drew. And now a daughter has appeared, — now Shego understood who her boss took after, — By the way, you'd better cover the air defense shafts with something.
— What?! — The Evil Genius and his assistant exclaimed in unison. The old butler just grunted in surprise.
— I'm so glad you followed in your mother's footsteps, Drew. In my day, I was quite the villain! — She wiped away a tear. It was clear that she was touched, — Oh, if only I were your age. The romance. Global Chaos. Alright, kids, goodbye!
And before anyone could recover, Mrs. Lipsky, the former villain, jumped into the helicopter. It soon flew away, but Drakken, Shego, and Norman were still standing in a complete daze. The butler was the first to recover, he stepped aside, took a cigarette from his cigarette case from his tailcoat, and lit it with a long sigh. Dr. Lipsky simply fell on his rear end, stunned. Well, and Shego... Shego was sure that Mama Lipsky would be back.
***
Lately, heroes have been visiting us frequently. Apparently, the Organization decided to put me in my place, but due to the lack of a suitable hero, they were forced to throw "meat" at me. No, seriously, they were so incompetent that they couldn't even get to me. And I had prepared so much for each meeting!
By the way, some of the heroes unexpectedly crashed not because of the traps, but because of the janitor. Yes, I myself was unspeakably surprised. But Jamshan, as the janitor was called, was a true master of the broom and mop. No master of the spear could compare with him. And it's so humiliating for disgusting heroes—not even to reach the Main Bad Guy, but to lose to his janitor.
Oh yes, to be honest, at first, I didn't really understand all this struggle between heroes and villains. I prepared for it like an important performance, but nothing more. And now, unexpectedly, I've gotten into it. There's something so... villainous about it! In general, humiliating heroes in various ways has become my new hobby. Therefore, Jamshan now worked in places where heroes were sure to stumble upon him. And I also recorded their fails to watch the highlight reels with Shego later. I finally heeded her requests and started to relax more. Mostly, Shego and I spent time together. By the way, she often joined my experiments.
Now I was experimenting with probabilities. The idea of the "Yarn of Fate" came to me, strangely enough, in a dream. Yes, the courses on improving the originality of names helped. Cheshire, as he asked to be called, and I have become good friends. I invited him to visit, but he kept waving me off. So, probabilities... This machine took up a decent amount of space, so I had to move it outside. And cover it with a tarpaulin and various camouflage nets, because heroes were still roaming the island. I'm starting to understand the comparison to cockroaches: no matter how much you exterminate them, they'll always remain.
The "Yarn of Fate" was a supercomputer with a built-in emitter. Its purpose was to directly influence the universe and its laws. No, you can't change the fundamentals. But it's within its power to slightly tweak the nuances. Now Shego and I were already setting it up for a future nasty trick. It should be noted that we suffered a lot during the calibration. However, I can proudly state: now the little tab on all teabags tears three times more often! Sandwiches always... Absolutely ALWAYS fall butter or sauce-side down. Microwaves never heat up food on the first try, only the plate itself. And you can only find the right item in your pocket if it's the only one.
Right now, we were programming the probability of hitting your little toe on the corner of a dresser or cabinet. In fact, the more precisely you describe the conditions, the stronger the influence will be, provided that it doesn't violate fundamental laws. The machine had only a couple of drawbacks: it broke easily, and when it broke, everything returned to how it was before.
What's some villain who wants to destroy humanity? There have already been thousands of them, and they were all defeated by disgusting, ubiquitous heroes. But as soon as villainy touches you or your daily life, you immediately notice it and then start wailing. Oh yes, the news lately has become better than any symphony orchestra for me. It's that wonderful feeling when the little people cry about your small nasty tricks, unable to do anything. And they don't know who to blame, and therefore they kick the heroes with all their might to find and punish the disturber of their peace.
Of course, this game with probabilities doesn't distinguish between friend and foe, so we ourselves sometimes get a taste of it. But if you know exactly what the Yarn influences, you could say you're armed.
— Let's go, Doc. Norman said dinner would be ready closer to eight, — Shego turned to me, pushing her glasses onto her forehead.
— You're right as always, my faithful assistant, I didn't expect the work with this contraption to be so painstaking, — I said, also taking off my glasses. I had just turned around to head back to the tower when my little toe met the metal corner of the control panel. Damn it! How hard it is to be a successful villain! — Shego! Don't laugh! Better help me get up... Damn it, that hurts so much!
— Yes, yes. To think: the evil Dr. Drakken, a threat to all humanity, defeated, — she laughed with a trill, supporting me by the arm, — by the corner of his own machine.
— I'll remember this, Shego! — I laughed in return.
***
Have I already said that I love humiliating heroes? Yes, I have. Today was a momentous and symbolic day. International Hero Day. Oh, nothing warms a villain's heart like a prank committed on your enemy's holiday. But I am a courteous villain, right?
The master of ceremonies in me woke up. I prepared so many different contests! I sent my gifts for their holiday to many cities. And I numbered them meticulously. Well, maybe not most, but I certainly numbered them! What did I send them? Simple party poppers with confetti. Only I put them in suspicious-looking boxes. And I also put unpleasantly ticking mechanical alarm clocks inside. What if they oversleep their own holiday?
And autumn was already in full swing. It was time to think about a seasonal nasty trick. Hmm... I never liked autumn, all those falling leaves everywhere, gross. Shego! I need botanical reference books urgently! We are canceling autumn!
*Meanwhile, in America and some European countries*
Today, the heroes were particularly busy. Dr. Drakken offered them a guessing game, placing several bombs with sleeping gas in almost all cities where the Organization had branches. But no more than four per city, as he said. Only problem was: almost all the "gifts" were found, but in some places, the numbers were missing. Law enforcement found numbers 1, 2, and 4. It was later revealed that Drakken had simply sent party poppers disguised as "bombs." And sometimes three per branch.
Another problem was his "Performance for the Holiday." People will remember the Evil Fairies for a long time. It's unclear what power of persuasion one must possess to get about forty swarthy, bearded, and overgrown men into ballet tutus of all shades of pink with little wings. It... it was so awful that it will likely remain a dark memory in the minds of many people forever. These "Fairies," cursing in some Central Asian language and dancing awkwardly, ransacked about four research institutes in one day. And toy stores, for some reason. And their drunken and smoke-filled voices sounded more like the caw of a scavenger than the voice of magical miniature creatures. In short, this year has become a real nightmare.
***
It was always quite difficult for Kim in her family. Her father was a brilliant scientist-engineer, her mother a neurosurgeon, and her younger brothers, despite all their childishness, were practically prodigies. The burden of expectations placed on her shoulders was too great. But she always tried to live up to her last name, "Possible." She was an A-student, a beauty, an athlete, and a... a girl scout. It's not that studying came to her with difficulty, but unlike her slacker brothers, who caught on to everything instantly, she had to put in the effort.
However, despite all her excellence, she was one of those people who are truly dependent on the opinions of others. She cared very much about her image. And her appearance was one of the most important features of that image. The slightest pimple could cause serious panic. And also, due to this burden of expectations, she felt a sharp need to be no worse than others. It was very easy to challenge her. More correctly, she couldn't stand being challenged.
A kind of outlet for Kim was visiting sports clubs. She was exceptionally good at gymnastics and martial arts. She loved them dearly. At school, she decided to turn her hobby to her advantage and joined the cheerleading team. Among the many talents she demonstrated were a high level of skill in various extreme sports, such as hang gliding, skiing, and rock climbing.
She had known her friend Ron Stoppable since kindergarten. They became friends on the very first day, when he got tangled in his own sweater and cried, trying to get out, and a kind Kim helped him. Since then, they have been inseparable best friends. Ron, on the other hand, was her complete opposite: he was lazy and unmotivated. He didn't particularly care about the opinions of others, but at the same time, he was horribly cowardly.
For as long as Kim had known him, Ron often behaved in a special way that set him apart from his peers, and he didn't mind this difference at all, even when it caused negative attention or comments from those around him. For example, he had a tendency to stick to childish habits and customs. He still played "Trick-or-Treat," even though his peers had long since stopped. All of this helped him earn a reputation as a loser among his peers. However, for the most part, Ron either didn't notice the insults or considered his quirks a source of pride. In particular, this is evidenced by his life motto: "Don't be normal!"
Ron had an incredible number of phobias, which both amused and annoyed Kim. He was afraid of literally everything: bugs, spiders, mechanical horses, garden gnomes, ghosts, and many other things. Surprisingly, he wasn't afraid of large insects—only small ones.
Her heroic activity began completely by chance. Like any teenager, Kim had a sharp need for pocket money. One day she wanted to fill her wallet and decided to start a babysitting website called " with the slogan "Kim Can Do Anything" to attract an audience. As she herself later admitted to Ron, the slogan was initially a gross exaggeration.
Some time after the site was created, its creator was accidentally contacted by a certain Mr. McHenry, who was in trouble and was urgently trying to contact another group of heroes, the "Team Impossible." Due to a typo, he contacted her instead. It was a completely trivial matter: dealing with a bunch of thieves who robbed a bank. And why are all villains so drawn to robbing them? After the successful completion of the mission, many people learned about Kim. The Organization tried to recruit Kim but did not succeed; they had too many conditions. Yes, membership meant having work almost always, but when you're a freelancer, no one takes away most of your fee. And you didn't have to wear those silly costumes. And although she helped completely selflessly, from the goodness of her heart, clients almost always paid for a job well done. And she spent that money with pleasure.
{Note: The original contains an untranslatable pun that I couldn't localize, so I will leave it here so you can understand how one can make a mistake in the words "Kim Possible" and "Team Impossible":
Due to a typo, Mr. McHenry contacted "www.kimpossible.com" instead of "www.impossible.com"}
This year's summer was a bust. The latest villain was clever and original, and the Organization was simply not ready for such actions. However, he caused a ruckus and then went quiet, so she thought until autumn. But the "Fairies" who burst into the institute where she was on her father's business thoroughly spoiled her mood, and what's more, they stole almost all the lab journals about the research and peed on everything they couldn't take. She wanted to tear her hair out in anger!
This couldn't continue! Since those costumed "Heroes" couldn't handle it, she had to try herself. Besides, it would undoubtedly boost her cherished image. All that was left was to tell Ron that he was going with her too. Straight into the villain's lair. She knew what an overwhelming factor he could be. And to surprise is to win!