When we started doing line rehearsals, I immediately felt bored.
Their acting was far too mundane and average.
Too casual.
It felt like they hadn't trained for years — though I couldn't really blame them.
Their agencies are doing everything they can just to secure them some roles.
When it was my turn, I didn't bother giving it my all.
There was no point, not when the two people acting with me couldn't even match my energy, even in a simple line rehearsal.
So, I just did what I usually do — nothing more, nothing less.
But surprisingly, it seemed like they caught up with the mood.
Now, they were trying to match my level, even if only slightly.
Was that a good thing?
I didn't know myself.
The director eventually scolded them, saying they needed to give their best for the next session.
I went back to my seat beside Éryan.
"This is boring."
"Everything is boring for you, Yae," he replied casually.
I shot him a glare before turning my eyes back to the script.
Then came Act II.
Let's see what kind of acting this red-haired girl will show me.
The moment she spoke, something shifted.
It felt as though the character Mitsura had suddenly come to life.
My eyes were glued to her — and only her.
Everyone else faded into a blur.
Her acting was flawless. She didn't just play Mitsura — she became her.
I could feel the emotion, the weight, and the realism in every word she delivered.
Goosebumps ran down my arms despite myself.
Given how little time we had, it was almost unbelievable how naturally she embodied her role.
When it ended, I couldn't take my eyes off her retreating figure as she walked back to her seat.
Soon after, the other talents from earlier gathered around her, chatting, probably asking for advice about the script.
I narrowed my eyes slightly at the sight.
They looked far too comfortable.
…I want to talk to her too.
"Why are you frowning?"
Éryan's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes at him, ignoring his teasing tone as he started acting dramatic, like a child throwing a tantrum.
Still, my thoughts lingered elsewhere.
How can I approach her and talk to her…?
The next day's rehearsal came. Today, I'd be having a rehearsal with Mitsura—or rather, Raiquèn's character.
I found myself smiling shortly at the thought.
Éryan asked me yesterday if I was interested in Raiquèn, but I didn't bother entertaining his teasing remarks, knowing his personality.
Life is more fun with mystery, they say. So, let's try and get to know her in secret, shall we?
Then Act IV came. This was the first interaction between Gwen and Mitsura.
How interesting.
It unfolded until my interaction with her.
When she spoke her lines, I turned to look at her.
My eyes were locked with her warm golden ones, but it seemed like it wasn't her at all. Is this what it feels like to act with someone experienced in method acting?
You see their usual appearance in front of your eyes, yet you feel like the real them is distant from what they're showing.
An uncomfortable yet interesting method.
It seemed like her face was even more beautiful up close. She was leaning forward slightly toward me, making her angle a bit lower than usual. She looked up at me with those golden eyes.
Then I spoke my own lines.
Silence stretched between us for a moment. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, yet she continued with the rehearsal.
"Me? I am Mitsura. And you, my lady—what house do you belong to?"
Her voice wasn't the usual one. She perfectly embodied how her character's tone and way of speaking would sound.
It was terrifyingly amazing, to be honest. It's not something I could do in just a few days—but she managed to perfect it instantly.
I gave her my answer in accordance with the script.
As our exchange continued, I wanted to see her more up close, so I took a step forward.
She instantly froze, taken aback by what I did—which I found cute. What I did wasn't written in the script; it was supposed to be only a conversation between the two characters, without any movement.
But I wanted to be close to her at that moment. I wanted to know more.
Raiquèn instinctively took a step back as I kept coming closer until she was cornered against the wall behind her.
Then she spoke—her voice trembled just as it was supposed to in the script.
But I didn't want that. I wanted her mask to crumble right here and now in front of me.
I wanted my presence to dominate her. I wanted to mess with her acting and see if I had any impact on her.
That's what I wanted—to play with her a little more.
Then I leaned forward and grabbed a strand of her red hair. It was soft and smooth. It also smelled so good that I wondered what kind of shampoo she used.
It suited her appearance. I twirled it around my fingers as memories of the past entered my mind.
I wondered if she remembered me. I'd be really sad if she didn't recognize me at all.
And if she truly didn't, I'd make sure to mess with her more than I was supposed to.
I looked at her to see her eyes trembling slightly at how close we were to each other.
Then I whispered in a very low voice,
"As far as I could remember."
It had two meanings—it was also written in the script, but that wasn't the message I wanted to give her. The rest was up to her—whether she recognized me or not.
Then my eyes fell on her parted lips. I didn't know how long we'd been this close, but any longer, and I felt like I'd lose control and do whatever I wanted to this girl in front of me.
Then I heard the director's voice.
Only then did I release the strand of hair twirled in my fingers and turn my back to her.
A small smile escaped my lips as I couldn't help the feeling stirring inside me.
I headed back to the seat where Éryan was sitting casually.
"What was that? That wasn't written in the script."
He arched a brow at me, which I completely ignored.
"Urgh! Stop ignoring me and tell me!"
He poked me multiple times until I glared at him, telling him to stop.
I exhaled, reminiscing about what had happened earlier, and tilted my head as my gaze followed her figure heading to the restroom.
Remembering how the faint red of her ears betrayed her composed mask.
I couldn't help but giggle quietly at the thought—where no one could hear it but me.
So cute.
....
Then a week had already passed. It was tiring and exhausting.
Knowing I had to rehearse here, do some photoshoots, and film some of my movies all in one day.
I wanted to run away again and just escape this so-called perfect life given to me.
But I didn't want it—this title, this job, this shitty acting career that took away my youth and freedom to choose.
Tonight, I felt sick and disgusted once again. I always feel this way whenever I interact with other people. That's also one of the reasons why I cannot stand acting.
All the people around you just stick with you for their own benefits and such. I hated it.
"Yae? Aren't you going to the van?"
Éryan asked me.
"I forgot something. I'll be back."
I excused myself and headed back to the theater.
Though I didn't really forget anything, I just didn't want to be with them and wanted to be alone for some time.
Then, without me knowing, my feet brought me back to the backstage where we were rehearsing.
I guess I could hide and kill some time here.
I opened the doorknob, only to be surprised to see Raiquèn standing on the other side. She looked like she had just woken up from a nap.
I thought she had already left—but she stayed behind?
"Yeira?"
She called out to me. I blinked at her suddenly speaking to me. This was the first time we talked to each other outside of rehearsal.
"Yes?"
At my response, she jolted slightly. It seemed like she had just blurted it out and was as surprised as I was.
"O-oh, nothing. Did you leave anything behind?"
She asked, though I could tell she was trying not to sound awkward.
I tilted my head slightly, studying her face and thinking of what kind of excuse I should make.
I knew I wanted to be alone, but the feeling of wanting to spend time with this girl in front of me seemed a bit ridiculous to admit.
"Not really," I muttered.
But before Raiquèn could finish what she was saying, we heard footsteps coming and some voices.
I instinctively stepped inside and closed the door quietly, though we could still hear the staff speaking.
I stared at the ground as I listened to what they were saying. They were right, though.
It was mainly because I had the money and connections that I was here. But it's not like I wanted to be here anyway.
If I could throw it all away and just run, I would. But that would be a very hard thing to do considering the kind of situation I'm stuck in.
How annoying. Really. This frustrates me.
If they're disgusted with it, what more am I? I hated it the most. I didn't need to hear it coming from anyone's mouth.
Then I felt a stare on me. I looked at Raiquèn. Her face was full of worry.
She must've heard it. Of course. But it doesn't really matter because it's none of her business.
Though the worry in her eyes only irritated me more. I would've loved it if only she hadn't looked at me with pity in that moment.
How suffocating.
"Uh… Yeira."
She called out worriedly.
Then she asked me if I wasn't upset or anything.
I just answered her casually, though I might've given her more information than needed. It won't matter anyway.
It's not like we're friends or anything—but still. I can't help but not feel disgusted whenever I'm with Raiquèn.
I wonder why that is. Is it because I already met her before? Though she doesn't seem to recognize me at all.