"What a coincidence, Hikigaya. Looks like we're both in Class 3-B."
"…Yeah. Lucky me. I'm… very fortunate to be in the same class as Kato-san."
Their footsteps echoed lightly down the hallway as they made their way toward the new classroom. Hikigaya's expression, however, was anything but cheerful. If anything, his face looked like he was walking toward an execution chamber rather than the start of his final year of high school.
"Please take care of me from now on, Hikigaya."
"Uh… yeah. Please… take care of me too."
On the surface, it was the standard polite exchange between classmates. Inside, though, Hikigaya was weeping bitterly. From the moment he walked through the school gates that morning, he'd been clinging to a single prayer: Please, let me be in any class except hers.
But the gods were cruel. No—they weren't cruel. They were sadists. Not only was he in the same class as Kato Megumi, but he was stuck there for the entire third year.
"What kind of rotten luck do I have…?" Hikigaya muttered under his breath. "Yukinoshita, save me! I need you to somehow… I don't know… transfer this girl to another class! Anything!"
His so-called instincts—those same instincts that had guided him through countless adolescent disasters—screamed at him that this woman was dangerous. Extremely dangerous.
In fact, after a single conversation, Hikigaya had already mentally ranked Kato Megumi as a Dragon-level monster. For reference, his mental bestiary placed Haruno—the Yukinoshita family's living disaster—at the same level. That alone should tell you how much he feared her.
The two arrived at Class 3-B. Fortunately, the back door was open, so they slipped inside quietly. It was the first day of a new year, which meant no fixed seating yet. Students were free to claim whatever spot they wanted.
Naturally, Hikigaya chose a desk as far away from Kato-san as possible, then collapsed into the chair like a soldier retreating to the safety of a bunker.
He slumped forward, chin resting on his arms, and let his eyes dart around the classroom. Most of the faces were unfamiliar.
No Yuigahama. No Hayama. No Totsuka. Well… except for Kawasaki. And—was that Miura's mom, sitting over there?
"Wait, what am I even thinking…? No, that's just Miura herself. Get it together, Hachiman."
Still, he couldn't shake the feeling Kawasaki was sneaking glances his way. Nope. Must be an illusion. Life's greatest illusion: the idea that a girl is actually looking at me.
Satisfied that the coast was mostly clear, Hikigaya allowed himself to breathe. All in all, this new class arrangement wasn't bad. If it weren't for Kato-san's ominous presence, he might've even given it a positive score. Being surrounded by strangers meant he could vanish into the background—be invisible, quietly study, and avoid attention.
And yes, Hikigaya intended to study. Not slack off, not drift by—study. His third year meant looming university entrance exams, and he had more than one reason to do well.
First, Yukinoshita wanted them both to get into the same university. A long-distance relationship was unacceptable in her eyes. Second, and perhaps more urgent, there was the ultimate adversary Hikigaya currently faced: a god-level boss far beyond the Dragon-class horrors of Haruno and Kato-san.
Yukinoshita's mother.
That smiling, polite, and terrifying woman had made her intentions crystal clear the last time they met. She wanted control. She wanted Hikigaya shackled, a convenient pawn of the Yukinoshita household.
"Hmph. Sounds great, right? Too bad…" Hikigaya clenched a fist under the desk. "I, Hikigaya Hachiman, have my pride! As the only male heir of the Hikigaya family, I'll carry the name forward no matter what. Even if it kills me, I won't let it vanish into someone else's lineage!"
Dramatic, maybe, but in his mind, it was a matter of survival. Even if he and Yukinoshita got into the same university, convincing her mother he wasn't inferior would still be an uphill battle. But strong grades, achievements—those could at least prove his worth.
In other words: study or perish.
The shrill school bell snapped Hikigaya out of his brooding. "Huh… guess it's time to meet our new homeroom teacher."
A sigh escaped his lips. "Man, I really hope Hiratsuka-sensei's still in charge…"
But of course, the world wasn't that kind. Hiratsuka-sensei had officially left, and Hikigaya was left to mourn in silence.
"…Still, maybe it's for the best," he muttered under his breath. "If she stayed as my teacher, I might've messed up somewhere along the way… and that would've been unfair to Yukinoshita."
As he wallowed in that bittersweet thought, the classroom door opened with a sharp click.
The chatter in Class 3-B instantly intensified.
A young woman stepped in, her presence immediately striking. Short pink hair framed her sharp face, her eyes cold and unyielding. She wore a crisp dark business suit paired with a fitted pencil skirt, and—
"Wait, hold on… black stockings too?!" Hikigaya's brain short-circuited for a moment.
"It's practically a critical hit to the XP bar of every aging otaku in this room," he thought grimly, glancing at the other boys who were visibly losing it.
Even he, Hikigaya Hachiman, the master of dead fish eyes, couldn't help but sneak in a few extra glances. She wasn't just fashionable—she was undeniably beautiful, her figure elegant yet commanding. The air around her screamed authority, and even Hikigaya, who prided himself on his cynicism, found himself reluctantly impressed.
Predictably, a few reckless classmates couldn't hold back. Bold questions about whether she had a boyfriend flew through the air, followed by raucous laughter.
But the amusement lasted only a heartbeat.
The pink-haired woman's gaze swept across the room like a blade.
The effect was instantaneous. The rowdy atmosphere collapsed under the weight of that icy glare. It was like the classroom had been thrown into the cage of a top predator. In the space of a single second, all noise evaporated, replaced by a suffocating silence.
Hikigaya felt it. That pressure. That sensation that if she willed it, this woman could actually kill someone on the spot.
Sweat ran cold down his back, and judging by the stiff faces of the students around him, he wasn't the only one. Even the more brazen boys immediately dropped their eyes to their desks.
"Tch… unbelievable," Hikigaya muttered inwardly, feigning nonchalance. "Everyone's acting like she's some kind of executioner. A bunch of cowards—huh?!"
His bravado crumbled instantly when he realized her piercing gaze had landed directly on him.
"Wha—?!"
The danger alarms in his brain blared at full volume. He sat ramrod straight, posture perfect, like a soldier under inspection. His lungs froze up, and he held his breath without even meaning to.
Not until she turned her attention elsewhere did Hikigaya dare to exhale, collapsing slightly in relief. "That was close… too close! I seriously almost suffocated!"
In his mind, the verdict was clear: this woman was no ordinary teacher. She was a bona fide monster, and possibly even God-level material.
The pink-haired teacher walked to the podium with deliberate, confident steps. Picking up a stick of chalk, she wrote her name on the blackboard in neat strokes before turning back to face them.
"My name is Kirisu Mafuyu," she announced, her voice calm but sharp as a blade. "Starting today, I will be your World History teacher for Class 3-B, as well as your homeroom teacher. If you encounter problems in your studies—or any other school-related issues—you may bring them to me."
Her eyes, devoid of warmth, swept across the class once more. Students who had been gawking immediately flinched and shouted in unison, "Yes, ma'am!"
The oppressive atmosphere lingered, pressing down on every corner of the room.
Hikigaya slumped in his chair, despair tugging at his soul. "First Kato, and now Teacher Kirisu. Why… why are all the terrifying women gathering around me? Is this some kind of cruel cosmic joke?"
He wanted to scream for Yukinoshita's help, but before he could even finish that thought, his phone buzzed against the underside of his desk.
"Eh?" Hikigaya froze. Slowly, carefully, he slid it out, making sure Kirisu-sensei's hawk-like gaze wasn't directed at him. One wrong move, and she'd probably execute him on the spot for breaking class rules.
Unlocking the screen, he blinked in disbelief.
"…It's from Yukinoshita?"
His heart jumped. Could it be? Did Yukinoshita somehow sense the danger he was in? Was she secretly dispatching him a lifeline through the cruel digital void?
"You actually… knew I needed saving?" Hikigaya thought dramatically, brimming with half-hope.
Quickly, he opened the message.
Yukinoshita: Hikigaya-kun, who was that female student you walked to school with this morning? I saw you two talking quite happily at the school gate. You're not… thinking of cheating, are you?
"Eh?!" Hikigaya almost dropped his phone.
"That tone… that interrogative tone!" His eyes darted over the message again, as if reading it twice would change the meaning. "Cheating? With Kato? On day one?!"
The absurdity struck him like a punch. "What a joke! There's no way Kato and I have that kind of relationship! We literally just met today!"
And yet… the more he thought about it, the more doomed he felt. Because with his luck, even explaining the truth would probably just make him look guiltier.