"I want to know the other two choices before deciding which one to choose," Everly declared, clinging to a sliver of hope that the universe hadn't completely abandoned her to a life of bizarre powers. Otherwise, she envisioned her future headlines: 'Heiress Discovered, But Family Chooses Fake Daughter Due to Biological Offspring's Perverted Habit of Kissing Strangers and Dramatic Fainting Spells.'
And the "true love" thing? Honestly, it made her cringe a little. Most girls might dream of fairytales, but Everly had consumed enough trashy novels filled with betrayal and cheating to be thoroughly skeptical of such saccharine concepts.
System 006, seemingly taking her point, promptly swapped the emoticon to a bold number 2.
[The second system ability...]
[It's a Gossip System!!!]
"....."
Everly hadn't exactly set her expectations high, but she certainly hadn't anticipated the next option to sound equally, if not more, absurd.
At this point, she was seething with jealousy for all those generic protagonists who got straightforward task systems and attribute points. Here she was, forced to choose between becoming a potential public indecency offender or, apparently, a super-powered busybody.
System 006, oblivious to her internal torment, elaborated on the Gossip System.
[Host, this Gossip System grants you the ability to read someone's secrets, from the most trivial to the absolutely scandalous, simply by touching their body. But, of course, there are levels of secrets that can only be unlocked after the host performs certain... actions~]
If Everly possessed a physical body right now, her jaw would have hit the floor. She hadn't expected the Gossip System to be this good. As a connoisseur of cliché novels, and by extension, a drama fiend, the prospect of effortlessly unearthing everyone's deepest, darkest secrets sent a thrilling shiver down her non-existent spine.
This wasn't just gossip; this was a front-row seat to the ultimate reality show, starring everyone she knew!
"So... this Gossip System just requires a touch, and poof, I'm privy to someone's deepest, darkest secrets?" Everly's voice held a newfound, almost giddy, intrigue. "And if they've got a truly juicy, big secret... I have to perform some sort of ritual to unlock it?"
System 006's screen practically sparkled, now displaying the utterly delighted emoticon ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡
[Precisely, host! The Gossip System offers two delightful avenues for unlocking those tantalizing secrets. You can either 'level up' yourself, or, for those particularly juicy, must-know secrets, you can undertake a 'special task' related to the person you're most curious about~]
"Level up??" Everly practically shrieked, a spark of genuine hope igniting. "Will anything actually change if I level up? And what exactly do I need to do to level up?"
She envisioned herself gaining super strength, perhaps the ability to deliver a truly satisfying punch to annoyances like Sylas. Intelligence was optional; brute force was always a classic.
Alas, System 006, with the innocent cruelty of a kitten batting a ball of yarn, promptly obliterated Everly's burgeoning dreams. Its cute emoticon (๑>◡<๑) seemed to mock her as it delivered the devastating news.
[Host, the 'level up' here refers to your gossip level! So, nothing about you changes, aside from your ability to access increasingly scandalous and deliciously detailed secrets!]
In an instant, Everly's dreams of becoming stronger, prettier, or even just mildly more capable, shattered like a fragile vase dropped from a great height. It was a heartbreak akin to discovering her first crush preferred someone else's meticulously curated Instagram feed over her raw, unfiltered angst.
[And for any further, more scandalous explanations, the host needs to select the Gossip System first~]
[So, host, are you ready to embrace your destiny as the supreme purveyor of secrets and choose the Gossip System?]
Everly let out a long, suffering sigh. Despite the undeniable allure of being a walking, talking tabloid, she decided to hold out for the grand finale. There was still one more option, and she wasn't about to commit to a life of scandalous whispers just yet. But before she could voice her decision, a bright, cartoonish 💡 emoticon popped up on the screen. System 006, it seemed, had just remembered a crucial, probably inconvenient, detail.
[Oh, my apologies, host! I completely forgot to mention a tiny extra detail about the Gossip System before we move on. The side effect for the Gossip System is... shall we say, more persistent and can last significantly longer than the side effects of other system abilities. So, this might be a little 'drawback' for your consideration!]
Side effects!
Everly's non-existent blood ran cold. She'd almost forgotten about the system's penchant for throwing in random, potentially life-ruining drawbacks. Now, instead of worrying about the ability itself, she was plagued by the terrifying unknown of its repercussions. With another weary sigh, she resigned herself.
"Can you just tell me about the last choice?" she asked, her voice laced with a profound sense of 'just get it over with.'
[Of course! I truly hope you like the third one!]
The blue screen, ever the eager beaver, promptly switched to a gleaming number 3.
[The third system ability is....]
[Shop System!!!!]
Everly gasped.
A Shop System? If this was the kind of shop system she was envisioning from her extensive, highly intellectual research into webnovels, then this wasn't just good, it was magnificent! Usually, these shops peddled everything from instant scar-removing potions to muscle-enhancing elixirs, magical artifacts, and maybe even a handy guide on how to survive an apocalypse with perfectly coiffed hair. This was the holy grail of system abilities!
"Does this shop system... mean I can buy items with points, and those points are collected from completing tasks?" Everly's voice was practically a whisper of desperate hope.
Please, oh please, let it be true!
She silently pleaded to the cosmos.
When she saw the triumphant thumb-up ദ്ദി( ^ᗜ^ ) emoticon, Everly felt an overwhelming urge to hug the floating blue interface. If she had a body, she might have even planted a grateful, albeit platonic, kiss on it.
[Host, you truly possess an astonishing depth of knowledge on these matters! From the very beginning, you've grasped concepts without requiring extensive explanation! However, I shall still elaborate on the Shop System in greater detail, as there are a few delightful deviations from your current understanding~]
[The Shop System indeed permits you to select and acquire items from its extensive inventory. Yet, to procure these wondrous goods, each item requires the host to fulfill a specific, pre-assigned task. Thus, every coveted item is unlocked only after completing its unique, corresponding quest. For instance, if your heart desires the 'Instant Baldness Potion,' you'd simply need to perform a task such as... shaking hands with 1,000 bald individuals!]
"....."
Everly's jaw, if she had one, would have been permanently dislocated by now. She was speechless for what felt like the hundredth time since this whole ordeal began. The glimmer of hope that had briefly illuminated her non-existent face flickered and died. She decided to cut straight to the chase.
"Is the example you just gave—the baldness potion and the 1000 handshakes—an actual product with its actual task? Not just some hypothetical, exaggerated example?"
System 006 puffed out its chest, or at least, its emoticon did, now radiating an aura of supreme confidence.
[But of course, it's an actual in-store product! All the items available are exquisitely unique and utterly fascinating! And the tasks? Why, they're practically a walk in the park!]
Everly clung to the last, rapidly fraying thread of hope, even though her internal 'this-is-going-to-be-ridiculous' meter had already redlined past 90% the moment System 006 uttered the word "unique."
"Could... could you possibly give me a sneak peek?" she ventured, her voice as sweet as she could make a disembodied consciousness sound. "Just two or three product examples from the shop system, along with their tasks? I know I can only get the full details if I choose it, but perhaps you could make a tiny exception?"
[Uh... but I can't—]
"Please, System 006!" Everly's mental voice took on a pleading tone, a mental puppy-dog-eyes equivalent. "It won't harm you! Think of it as a free sample at the cosmic supermarket!"
System 006's screen wobbled precariously, displaying a dizzying array of confused and conflicted emoticons ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜ ;). It was clearly torn between protocol and Everly's surprisingly effective emotional blackmail.
[Hmm... haaahh... alright, host! Just one product! I'll pick a random one~ here it is!]
[Emotional Support Pet Rock (with Anxiety)!]
".....?"
[Description: A hand-painted rock that can move and primarily expresses itself through anxious sighs and worries. It's there for you, but also desperately needs you to be there for it!!]
[Task: Engage in a 10-minute philosophical debate with 5 high-powered businessmen about why rocks, too, deserve unconditional love and emotional support, just like any other pet.]
Wait, she hadn't heard that right, had she...? Her non-existent ears must be malfunctioning.
Before Everly could even begin to process the existential dread of a pet rock with anxiety, or the sheer absurdity of its accompanying task, System 006, having apparently forgotten its earlier hesitation, was already bubbling with excitement to unveil the next item.
[And for the second glorious product~]
System 006 announced, its voice practically a carnival barker's, clearly relishing its role as cosmic infomercial host. It had completely jettisoned its earlier promise of "only one product," swept away by the sheer joy of salesmanship.
[That is... The 'Existential Crisis' Cookie!!!]
[Description: A single bite of this artisanal cookie will plunge you into a profound, yet precisely timed, 3-minute contemplation of the meaning of life, the universe, and absolutely everything. Perfect for those who enjoy their epiphanies on a tight schedule.]
[Task: Deliver an impromptu lecture on the intricate nuances of mental illness to six unsuspecting bakers, each at a different bakery, preferably while they're elbow-deep in flour.]
"....."
Everly's mental silence stretched into an abyss. Just two products, and she'd already reached a definitive, soul-crushing conclusion: the Shop System was less a purveyor of useful goods and more a curated collection of absurdities designed to inflict maximum social awkwardness.
Not only were the items useless, but why did they all feel so... emotionally draining? Was this shop secretly a front for a mental health crisis hotline, cleverly disguised as a system ability?
[And the third—]
System 006 chirped, gearing up for another grand reveal.
"That's enough, System 006," Everly interrupted, her mental voice a flat line of resignation. "I've got a pretty solid grasp of what's for sale there, thank you very much."
System 006's screen drooped, displaying a forlorn (._.)"" emoticon. The digital equivalent of a puppy with its ears down.
[Oh... alright then, host... ahem... so if the host wishes to delve deeper into the intricate workings of the Shop System, the host needs to select the Shop System first.]
[Host, I have now meticulously explained all three potential system abilities to you. Therefore, between the Kiss System, the Gossip System, and the Shop System... which shall be your chosen path?]