Rain drummed against the manufactoria roof in uneven rhythm, like fingers on iron.
Elias stood alone on the balcony of the hab-spire, the city a blur of smoke and stormlight beneath him. The metal under his boots vibrated with the hum of distant forges — a sound he'd once found comforting. Now it just reminded him how small he was against the machinery of this world.
He'd told himself he could control it. The faith. The whispers. The fire. But the more they looked at him like a savior, the less he recognized his own face.
Gods aren't supposed to doubt.But men did. And tonight, he felt like a man again.
Behind him, the door hissed open.
Volst stepped through, water running off her cloak, her rifle slung low. Her jaw was tight, eyes dark with exhaustion and anger.
"You keep vanishing," she said quietly. "You come back with ash in your hair, your eyes burning, and you think no one notices?"
Her voice wavered — not weak, just human.
"I don't even know what you are anymore."
Elias didn't turn. "Neither do I."
The wind howled through the gap in the wall. Somewhere in that sound, something broke loose inside him — not rage, not fear, but the weight of everything he hadn't allowed himself to feel.
Malk and Lirae appeared behind her, drawn by instinct more than order. Malk leaned against the doorframe, his armor dented and blackened, eyes ringed in fatigue. Lirae said nothing, her expression unreadable behind the faint glow of her augmetic eye.
For a long time, none of them spoke. The rain filled the silence, steady and cold.
Elias's voice, when it came, was low.
"I had another life once," he said. "A small one. Ordinary. I remember… noise. Cities. The smell of rain on asphalt. Someone laughing next to me."
He swallowed hard, blinking the image away. "I don't even remember her face anymore. Just the sound of her voice when she said my name."
He looked down at his hands — calloused, burned, steady. "Then I woke up here. In this… nightmare. And the first thing this world did was make me kill."
Malk shifted, uneasy. "Everyone kills," he muttered. "That's life in the Imperium."
Elias nodded. "But I wasn't born here."
Volst frowned. "What do you mean?"
He hesitated. He couldn't tell them about the system, the reincarnation, the other world. But the truth slipped out in pieces.
"I mean I remember a world that wasn't built on death. I remember living without hearing people scream every day. And every night, I forget it a little more. Every time I burn something, it gets easier."
He exhaled, the faint shimmer of orange light spilling into the dark. "And that terrifies me more than anything else."
For the first time, Volst's voice softened.
"You think you're the only one scared?" she said. "We're all drowning here. The difference is, you.. you are doing.. .. they will burn you.."
Elias turned to her, the rain streaking his face, hiding tears he wouldn't let fall yet.
"You think I want this?" His voice cracked. "You think I asked for any of this? They look at me like I'm some god — but I'm just… trying not to lose myself. Every time I save someone, I burn someone else. Every time they kneel, I forget how to stand."
Lightning lit the balcony for a heartbeat.Malk's face was drawn tight, but there was no mockery now — only quiet understanding.Lirae's expression softened, eyes lingering on Elias as if seeing him for the first time.
"You're human," she said softly.
Elias laughed once — short, bitter."I don't feel human anymore."
He looked past them, out at the storm."It's easier to be the fire. Easier to be what they want. But if I do that… if I become their god…" He stopped, shaking his head. "Then there's nothing left of Elias Mercer. Just a weapon pretending it remembers who it was."
No one answered.The rain fell harder, washing soot from his hands.
Finally, he turned toward them."I can't promise I'll survive this," he said. "But I can promise I won't stop trying to stay human — even if the world wants me to be something else."
They stood there with him, silent, the storm washing over them all. For once, there was no command, no mission, no sermon — just four broken people trying to understand each other in a world built to break them.
When they left, Elias stayed behind.
He leaned against the railing, hands trembling. The memories pressed harder now — flashes of another life:A small apartment. Music. The warmth of sunlight through a window. A woman's voice saying his name.
It hurt to remember. It hurt worse to know he was forgetting.
He slid down to the floor, armor scraping metal. The tears came without warning, hot against the rain-cold air.
For the first time since awakening in this universe, Elias Mercer cried — not the tears of a soldier or a prophet, but of a man realizing how far from home he truly was.
He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking, and whispered through the sobs:
"I just wanted to live."
Far above, on Terra, the Golden Throne shivered.
For a brief moment, the Emperor stirred — not in wrath, but in something that might have been pity. His voice, faint as a dying flame, brushed across the warp like a sigh.
Then silence.
When the tears stopped, Elias wiped his eyes, the fire behind them dim but not gone. He stood slowly, body heavy but heart clearer.
He looked out at the storm again, his voice a whisper.
"I'll stay human. Even if it kills me."
[END OF CHAPTER 12: Ashes in the Dark ]