For the Jonas Brothers, the whole incident felt terribly unfair.
Not only did that jerk Snoopy pin them into the sofa and pour XO over their heads, but Joe, the second brother, ended up with two stitches on the back of his head. Nick, the youngest, had an actual scratch across the back of his neck.
Kevin, the eldest, was the only one uninjured, but that only meant he had to face the press with a smile and say:
"This was just a boys' game. Snoopy didn't do anything extreme. He just wanted to show off his defensive dominance. Honestly, he is a player with crazy defensive range. The three of us really did get pushed into the corner."
Kevin himself had no idea how he managed to laugh so naturally in front of the media.
Unfortunately, his good attitude didn't convince the internet that he was funny. On the contrary, even more people took Snoopy's side.
"Those Jonas Brothers are completely worthless. Nothing's dumber than rubbing salt in someone's wound! Don't they know every basketball media outlet is doubting the Snoopy right now? If I were him, I'd shove all their heads straight into a toilet. I never liked their faces or their soft, floppy vocals anyway. They call themselves rock singers?"
"Compared with the Jonas Brothers, I'm 100% Team Snoopy. His musical talent is obviously superior. The song he wrote for Miley Cyrus is the only track on her whole album that caught my ear. As for the Jonas Brothers' songs, please… My golden retriever became sterile after hearing those terrible melodies."
"The Jonas Brothers are just three pretty boys adored by underage girls. Snoopy, on the other hand, is more masculine and much more handsome. And he's only 19! He's a full-scholarship student at Anderson Business School and the MOP of the NCAA Final Four. Add in his looks and talent, what right do those three brothers have to joke around with him like that?"
"Look at these stupid fans."
Nick Jonas sat up on the sofa. He opened his IBM laptop and turned the comments toward his brothers.
"They're actually saying the three of us combined aren't as good as Snoop-Snoopy. Are these people blind? Are they deaf?!"
Nick was furious.
Ever since Miley Cyrus kissed Snoopy right in front of him, his mentality had completely collapsed.
Why? Why him? I haven't even kissed her!
Joe was dealing with the same misery.
He realized that Taylor Swift, who had been flirting with him before, had suddenly gone cold. From morning until now, he had sent her seven texts, and she didn't reply to a single one.
Last night, after he got his stitches, he tried messaging her again. She only responded:
"Lol, I'm taking a shower."
Her unusual indifference made him realize something had changed.
Then he saw the news on TV:
While he was being squeezed into the sofa like a glob of butter… Taylor Swift had actually touched Snoopy's butt.
Oh God. Is she leaving me?
Joe's head was filled with jealousy.
Kevin wasn't in a good mood either. Online discussions comparing their music skills were even worse, those idiots actually thought Snoopy's song was better than theirs.
That song better than mine? Seriously?
The three brothers sat there stewing.
They'd been beaten up, their girlfriends were being stolen, and the "criminal" was being praised nationwide.
Does America even have laws anymore?
At the same time, Snoopy was frowning too. He was scrolling through sports news.
"Pat Riley and Don Nelson are taking shots at each other… and now every sports outlet is criticizing me. ESPN says I won't adapt to the NBA. NBC says I'll lose my role. TNT claims I might not even make the first round…"
Daphne walked in and handed him a phone.
"I think one of us needs to replace this ultra-thin Motorola Razr flip phone. I just saw your text preview, Taylor Swift wrote: 'I won't let you become my ex-boyfriend.'"
Snoopy lifted his eyelids slightly. His mind was fully in basketball mode.
He muttered to himself:
"We can't let Miami and Dallas keep manipulating things. If public opinion keeps trending this way, and either of those teams breaks their promise, I might really fall out of the first round."
Daphne nodded. She had already realized this too.
"I received some invitations as well. The Lakers want you courtside at Staples Center to watch the Finals. They want to evaluate you afterward. The Orlando Magic want to run a secret workout with you. And the Golden State Warriors called me too."
She continued, "I agree, we need to give Miami and Dallas a little sense of crisis. If this keeps up, your endorsement value will drop. This is China's Olympic year, athletes can make so much money during a year like this."
"By the way, Givenchy just called five minutes ago. They want you to be the global spokesperson for their new affordable-luxury line."
She sighed.
"They seem to think you're an entertainment celebrity now."
Snoopy ignored the endorsement issue and focused on the key point.
"We'll accept Orlando's secret workout first. Then we go to Staples for the Finals and contact the Lakers. After that, we talk to the Warriors."
"Alright," Daphne said, nodding.