Chapter 18 — Moving Day (Boxes, Boundaries & Brutal Honesty)
Ted Mosby believed moving in together was the natural next step.
Robin Scherbatsky believed moving in together was a trap.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed moving in together was a tactical disaster — especially when the couple was mismatched from the start.
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The Move
Ted arrived at Robin's apartment with boxes stacked to the ceiling.
"Roommate—no—cohabitation partner reporting for duty!"
Robin froze. "Ted… you brought six boxes of throw pillows?"
"They're essential," Ted insisted. "They're… vibe-setting."
Robin muttered in French. "Mon dieu."
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Chaos Begins
By nightfall:
Robin's sleek, minimalist apartment was drowning in Ted's clutter.
Ted rearranged her furniture "for better flow."
Robin snapped when she found him alphabetizing her DVDs.
"This isn't working," she groaned.
"It's just day one!" Ted pleaded. "We'll adjust."
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At MacLaren's
Robin ranted to the booth: "He's nesting. Like… aggressively. My place looks like a Pier 1 threw up!"
Ted defended himself. "It's about building a life together!"
Megan laughed. "Correction: it's about suffocating her with throw pillows."
Yvonne smirked. "You two are like a beta test that needs patch notes."
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Ivar Steps In
Ivar finally spoke, voice calm, cutting through the noise.
"Correction. You're not a couple moving in. You're two people forcing puzzle pieces that don't fit. And if you can't admit that, then yes — you're doomed."
Ted frowned. "So you're saying give up?"
"No," Ivar said. "I'm saying stop pretending you're not already broken."
Robin stiffened but didn't argue.
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The Crash
Days later, Ted dragged his boxes back out. Robin watched from the doorway, relief and guilt mixing in her eyes.
"This isn't about you, Ted," she said softly. "It's about us. We're… not that couple."
Ted sighed, defeated. "Yeah. We're not."
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The Side Note
Meanwhile, Barney cackled. "Called it! You guys are like oil and water. Except less sexy."
Marshall, ever the optimist, muttered, "They just need time."
Lily sighed. "No, they need honesty. Which Ivar already gave them."
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Ted was back at his own place, sulking.
Robin felt freer, but lonelier.
Barney gloated nonstop.
Megan and Yvonne roasted them both for trying too hard.
And Ivar? He sat in the corner, whiskey in hand, calm.
Because sometimes the smartest move wasn't stopping a crash.
It was letting it happen — then pointing to the wreckage and saying, "Told you so."
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End of Chapter 18.
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👉 Next is Chapter 19 ("Bachelor Party") — Barney plans Marshall's bachelor party (disaster), while Lily gets a disastrous bridal shower. Do you want me to let both trainwrecks happen canon-style, or twist it so Ivar swoops in to salvage them (but in his calm, understated way)?