Chapter 19 — Bachelor Party (Strippers, Showers & Scherbatsky Safety Nets)
Ted Mosby believed bachelor parties were about bonding.
Barney Stinson believed bachelor parties were about strippers, strippers, and more strippers.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed bachelor parties were about making sure no one destroyed their future before the wedding.
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Barney's Plan
Barney slammed down a flyer.
"Gentlemen — and Ted — behold! Marshall's bachelor party: strippers, tequila, and… did I mention strippers?"
Marshall turned pale. "I don't want that. I want… darts, wings, maybe a movie."
Ted nodded. "Yeah, he's not a stripper guy."
Barney scoffed. "That's like saying you're not a breathing guy."
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The Disaster
Despite Marshall's protests, Barney dragged everyone to a seedy strip club.
Marshall looked horrified, Ted uncomfortable, Barney gleeful.
Robin muttered to Megan, "This is painful."
Megan nodded. "Correction: it's a train wreck."
Yvonne added: "And he's driving it."
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Ivar's Quiet Intervention
Ivar slipped away mid-chaos. Minutes later, Marshall was pulled into a private room — but instead of dancers, he found:
A dart board.
A tray of wings.
A stack of his favorite DVDs queued up.
Marshall's jaw dropped. "You did this?"
Ivar smirked. "Correction: I fixed this."
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Lily's Side Disaster
Meanwhile, Lily's bridal shower was equally nightmarish — her old friends mocking Marshall, everyone criticizing her choices.
Lily felt small, trapped.
Then a delivery arrived: flowers, wine, and a handwritten note:
"Ignore them. Their opinions aren't debts you owe. — I"
Lily blinked back tears.
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The Fallout
Later, Marshall confronted Barney.
"Why can't you just listen? I don't want your version of fun. I just want mine."
Barney sulked. "But… strippers are tradition."
Ivar cut in, calm but sharp. "Correction: traditions are chains when you don't know how to break them. Marshall's marriage isn't about you."
Marshall nodded. "Exactly."
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Marshall got the bachelor party he actually wanted.
Lily felt seen, even from afar.
Barney sulked but secretly admired Ivar's fix.
Ted declared it "the most confusing bachelor party ever."
Megan and Yvonne roasted everyone equally.
And Ivar? He stayed in the shadows, content.
Because his job wasn't stealing the spotlight.
It was making sure the spotlight didn't burn anyone alive.
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End of Chapter 19.
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👉 Next is Chapter 20 ("Showdown") — canon has Barney on The Price Is Right trying to meet his "dad." Do you want me to keep it canon but with Ivar + Megan + Yvonne escalating the comedy from the audience, or have Ivar subtly rig things behind the scenes to expose Barney's issues?