Chapter 4 — Little Boys (Pretenses, Parenting & Pullbacks)
Ted Mosby believed dating someone with kids was noble.
Barney Stinson believed dating someone with kids was sabotage.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed dating someone with kids was a responsibility you don't play dress-up with.
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Robin's New Romance
At MacLaren's, Robin smiled nervously.
"So… I'm seeing someone. His name's George."
Barney choked on his drink. "George? Old man name. Not sexy."
Robin smirked. "He's actually hot. And… he has a son. Doug."
Ted blinked. "A kid? You? Really?"
Megan leaned back, grinning. "Correction: this is about to be the shortest relationship ever."
Yvonne added: "Kid's probably smarter than George."
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Meeting the Kid
At George's apartment, Robin awkwardly shook hands with Doug.
"Uh, hey there, sport… champ… buddy?"
Doug eyed her coldly. "You're not my mom."
Robin forced a smile. "Of course not! But I can be… your friend?"
Doug: "Do you even like kids?"
Robin froze.
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The Spiral
Later, Robin vented at the booth.
"He actually asked me if I liked kids! What was I supposed to say?"
Ted shrugged. "Say yes?"
Barney scoffed. "Say you hate them. Honesty is hot."
Megan cut in: "Correction: honesty is necessary. You can't fake liking kids. They smell lies."
Yvonne smirked. "Doug probably already has a hit list with Robin's name on it."
Robin groaned. "I just… wanted to try. Maybe I could learn to like kids."
Ivar finally spoke, calm and sharp.
"Correction: don't play house if you don't want the family. You'll only hurt him — and yourself. You've always known kids aren't for you. Own it."
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The Breakup
Robin, realizing the truth, broke it off with George.
"You deserve someone who wants the family life. I'm not that person. And pretending doesn't make it true."
George nodded, disappointed but understanding.
Doug simply said, "Told you."
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Subplot: Northern Star
While Robin closed that chapter, Ivar launched a quiet initiative at Northern Star:
NS Gaming's first prototypes teased.
Megan tested VR headsets, unimpressed: "Correction: nausea machine."
Yvonne broke a controller mid-demo, muttering, "Needs better grip."
Their constant commentary became part of the dev cycle.
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Robin admitted she didn't want kids, and felt relief.
Ted quietly wished she had, but said nothing.
Barney gloated like a psychic who'd called it from day one.
Megan and Yvonne roasted Robin but respected her honesty.
And Ivar? Calm, sipping whiskey.
Because pretending to want what you don't isn't growth.
It's self-destruction.
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End of Chapter 4 — Season 3.
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👉 Next is Chapter 5 ("How I Met Everyone Else") — canon has Ted dating "Blah Blah" and recounting how everyone met. Do you want me to keep the flashback structure but twist it with Megan, Yvonne, and Ivar cutting in — pointing out how Ted revises history to flatter himself?