Chapter 3 — Third Wheel (Math, Mayhem & Missed Chances)
Ted Mosby believed romance was about grand gestures.
Barney Stinson believed romance was about statistics.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed romance was about honesty — because math doesn't matter if you can't handle the truth.
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The Setup
Barney burst into MacLaren's like a prophet.
"Gentlemen — and Ted — tonight is legendary. Because Ted Mosby is about to have… a threesome."
Ted blushed. "I mean… it's possible. Two women invited me over."
Marshall choked on his beer. "No way."
Lily smirked. "Please take notes. This will end badly."
Megan leaned in, dry as dust. "Correction: this will end hilariously badly."
Yvonne added: "Like watching a toddler try quantum physics."
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The Almost-Threesome
Ted nervously sat on a couch between two women, wine glasses in hand.
They leaned in, giggling. "So… you've never done this before?"
Ted sputtered. "Oh, uh, I—well, there was this one time in college where… no, that was a Scrabble game. Different thing."
The mood died instantly.
The women exchanged a look. "Yeah, we should… head out."
Door slam. Silence.
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The Roast
Back at MacLaren's, Ted recounted the story.
"I froze! I just… I didn't know what to say."
Barney groaned. "You ruined the holy grail of bro-dom!"
Megan smirked. "Correction: you ruined basic human interaction."
Yvonne added, "Even Siri could've handled that better."
Robin laughed so hard she almost spilled her drink.
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Ivar's Lesson
Ivar finally cut in, calm, steady.
"Correction: you didn't fail because it was two women. You failed because you were pretending to be someone you're not. Confidence isn't about numbers. It's about being real."
Ted frowned. "So… if I'd just been myself?"
"Yes," Ivar said. "Because the moment you start faking it, people smell the desperation. And nothing kills attraction faster."
Ted nodded slowly, chewing on the truth.
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Subplot: Northern Star Release
While Ted licked his wounds, Ivar unveiled the NS Horizon 2 phone — faster, sleeker, still affordable.
Megan demoed the camera. Yvonne tested the speed. Robin filmed a piece for NS Entertainment.
Meanwhile, Ted's failed threesome became the running gag of the launch party.
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Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Ted missed his chance, but learned something real.
Barney mourned the "loss" like a national tragedy.
Megan and Yvonne roasted Ted mercilessly.
Robin thrived with her NS Entertainment spotlight.
And Ivar? Calm, as always.
Because threesomes weren't about math.
They were about maturity — and Ted still had none.
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End of Chapter 3 — Season 3.
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👉 Next is Chapter 4 ("Little Boys") — canon has Robin dating a guy with a kid. Do you want me to keep the core plot (Robin fumbling with kids) but weave Megan, Yvonne, and Ivar into it — showing Robin why pretending she wants kids is dangerous?