Since it was finally my day-off, I decided to go home to Aunt Neneng's house, where Neven and my mother-in-law were staying for the meantime. Noah and I were renting a small place in National City, just enough for us to crash after work shifts. It wasn't luxurious, but it was ours. Still, we couldn't always afford to bring Neven with us, especially since Noah hadn't found work yet and we were trying to save every peso we could. That meant taking turns—sometimes I visited Neven, sometimes Noah did, and on better days we both went together. But today, it was just me.
The moment I arrived, Neven ran toward me with that mischievous grin of his. He had been a little more playful lately, more "naughty" as we joked, striking first in games, poking me before darting away, laughing like he'd discovered the best secret in the world.
"Mommy!" he squealed, wrapping his arms around my legs.
I knelt down, scooping him into my arms. "Neven! You missed me, didn't you?"
He giggled, struggling in my hold so he could run off again. His tiny feet slapped against the cement floor as he dashed to grab a toy car, then came charging back like a little soldier ready for battle.
"Careful," my mother-in-law chuckled from the side, her eyes twinkling as she watched us. She was seated near the window, fanning herself lightly, but I could see the quiet joy on her face. She didn't often laugh loudly, but the way her eyes softened when she saw her grandson—that was enough.
We kept playing. Neven's laughter echoed, filling the house with warmth. I hadn't realized how much I needed that sound, how it somehow pushed back the heaviness I'd been carrying. For a while, I forgot about work stress, about bills, about Noah's struggles. For a while, it was just me, Neven, and this bubble of joy.
After a few minutes, I excused myself to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Neven was still wide awake, and we usually had a rule: one of us—either me or my mother-in-law—would always keep an eye on him. He was too curious for his own good.
While I was rummaging in the kitchen, my mother-in-law followed, her voice lowering a little. "You know, Noira, I didn't tell you this yet… Nalyn is pregnant again."
I almost dropped the spoon I was holding. "Pregnant? Again?"
She gave a small nod, her lips tightening. "Yes. She hasn't told many people yet. But I found out. She told me quietly, like it was some kind of secret, but I can't keep it in. I feel worried."
I frowned, setting down the plate. "Worried? Why?"
My mother-in-law sighed. "It's not that having another child is bad. A baby is a blessing. But Ryan—" she shook her head. "Her husband doesn't even have a stable job. They haven't invested in a house. Their lives are already unstable, and yet here she is, bringing another child into it."
I leaned against the counter, silent for a moment. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to agree with her, but part of me felt it wasn't my place. Still, she went on.
"You see Eros, their first child. You know how he is. If he doesn't get what he wants, he goes on a rampage. Wild as the wind. And now another baby? I'm afraid Nalyn hasn't thought this through."
Her words weighed heavily. She wasn't saying it out of malice—it was worry, pure worry. I could feel the hurt in her tone, the way her heart ached for a daughter who, perhaps, wasn't being practical.
I gave her a soft nod, though my throat felt tight. "You're right, Mama. Sometimes people just… don't think long-term. They follow the moment."
She looked at me then, her eyes searching mine. "You know, Noira, I admire you. You had Neven young, but you're still fighting for stability. You're thinking of the future."
I smiled faintly, though inside, I felt that sting of guilt. Did I really look like I had things under control? Half the time, I felt like I was barely holding on.
But before I could reply, she leaned in closer, lowering her voice even more.
"And that's not all," she whispered. "Do you know what happened with me and Tatay Rading the other day?"
I shook my head. "No… what happened?"
She let out a heavy breath, almost like it hurt her to recall. "I simply asked him for help—something small. But in a split second, he snapped. His temper… it was like a storm. He shouted at me, saying, 'If you don't like it here, the door is open!'"
My heart sank. "He said that?"
"Yes," she whispered, her eyes glistening though she forced them dry. "In front of everyone. Just because I asked for something. And Neneng… your Aunt Neneng… she didn't say a word. Not a single word to defend me. She just left us—me and her husband—fighting. Like she didn't care at all."
The heaviness in her voice pierced me. I felt my chest tighten, like I couldn't breathe properly. How could people be so cold? This was the woman—my mother-in-law—who had once helped them, fed them, even supported their children's studies. And now, this?
"Mama…" I whispered, reaching for her hand. "That's not right. You don't deserve that."
She shook her head slowly. "It's just the way people are, Noira. When they need you, they come running. When they've taken enough, they turn their backs."
Her words cut deep. I found myself staring at her, realizing she was right. Why is it that non-blood related people—friends, godparents, even strangers—had time to check on us, to care for Neven, to ask how we were doing… but family? Family only came to rant, to demand, to shirk responsibilities that weren't even ours to begin with.
I remembered just yesterday, Sweden had messaged me, asking about Noah.
"Is Noah supporting Neven well?" he had asked directly, like a concerned brother.
I had been honest. "He tries, but it's hard. He's still looking for work. We're managing with what little we have."
Sweden replied: *Don't give up on him yet. Some men take longer to find their footing. But he has to step up too, Noira. Neven needs him.*
I had stared at that message for a long time, thinking. Sweden wasn't blood, yet he cared enough to ask these hard questions.
Then Aisha's message followed:
"Noira, I admire you for staying. You know, I had to sacrifice too. I left the country, went abroad for better pay. I left my family behind, but I did it because I had no choice. You chose differently—you stayed for Neven. Both are sacrifices, but yours… yours is heavier. You carry the weight every day."
Her words had shaken me. Two paths: one of leaving to build a career, and one of staying, carrying responsibility before my own dreams. And I knew which one I had taken.
I was pulled back to the present when Neven tugged at my hand, holding up his toy car. "Mommy, play with me again!"
I forced a smile, crouching down to his level. "Of course, baby."
Behind me, I heard my mother-in-law sigh, but when I looked back, she gave me a small smile, as though grateful I was here, even if the world outside was cruel.
---
As the day went on, we played more, shared food, and talked in fragments. But the words of my mother-in-law lingered in me. The anger of Tatay Rading. The silence of Aunt Neneng. The pregnancy of Nalyn. The comparison of sacrifices from Aisha. The direct concern of Sweden.
It was all swirling inside me like a storm, but I didn't let it show. Not in front of Neven, not in front of Mama. Instead, I carried it quietly, like I always did.
That night, after Neven finally fell asleep, I sat alone in the small corner of the house, my phone in hand, scrolling through the old messages. My chest was heavy, but my face was calm. This was my life. A series of battles—some silent, some loud.
And all I could do was keep fighting.