The air was warm with the smell of fried fish and garlic rice when Sis Lea called out from the kitchen.
"Noira! Dinner is ready!" Her voice carried over the chatter of children and the sound of pots being stacked.
I blinked, almost startled back into reality. I hadn't realized how lost I was in my thoughts—still chewing over what my mom-in-law had told me earlier about arguments in the house, about the bitterness of Tatay Rading's words, and about Nalyn's pregnancy. My chest still felt heavy from it all. But now I forced myself to stand, smoothing the creases of my shirt as I made my way toward the dining room.
When I reached the doorway, I saw Lea holding her little daughter, Athiya, who clung to her neck with a sleepy but shy smile.
"Here, Athiya, look who's here!" Lea said, her face lighting up as she turned the child toward me.
"Tita Karen!" Athiya squealed, reaching her small arms out.
I couldn't resist. I scooped her up, kissed her soft cheek, and chuckled. "You're getting bigger every time I see you, huh? Pretty soon you'll be taller than me."
Athiya just giggled, then wriggled free, running straight toward Neven who was busy pushing his toy car across the floor. The two children immediately began chasing each other, their laughter ringing through the small house like music.
Lea smiled warmly as she watched them. "They really get along like siblings."
"Too well," I teased, shaking my head as Neven tried to "drive" Athiya's doll stroller like a racing car.
We all sat down for dinner a few minutes later. Aunt Neneng came in from the kitchen with another dish, her cheeks slightly flushed from cooking. "Eat plenty, Noira. You need strength from all that work."
"Thank you, Auntie," I replied, smiling as I helped set the plates.
As we settled at the table, Lea gave me a curious look. "So, how's work been? You look more tired than usual this time."
I exhaled softly, deciding not to hold anything back. "Honestly, it's been exhausting. Long shifts, endless tasks. Some days I feel like I don't even see Neven, just my work desk and the walls of our small place."
Lea nodded with sympathy. "I know how it is. But at least you're pushing through. Not everyone can carry what you're carrying."
I smiled faintly. "I don't really have a choice, do I? Neven depends on me. That's enough to keep me moving."
Before I could say more, Aunt Neneng leaned in a little. "And how's Noah? Has he found anything yet?"
The question hung in the air, heavy but expected.
I sighed quietly. "Not yet. He's still applying, still searching. It's been tough to land something stable. He's trying, I know he is, but so far… nothing."
Neneng gave a small hum. Not judgment, not even pity—just a sound of quiet acknowledgment. "Times are hard. But he'll find something. Don't lose hope."
I nodded politely, though deep inside, a storm was already brewing. I forced a smile, but my heart whispered: How much longer can I wait? How much longer can we keep going like this?
The talk might have lingered there, heavy and uncomfortably honest, but then Rose's little daughter, Zamarrah, toddled into the room. She tugged on Aunt Neneng's dress and called out sweetly, "Lola Neneng!"
Everyone paused, smiling at the innocence in her voice. Neneng bent down, scooping her up into her lap, and Zamarrah buried her face into her grandmother's shoulder.
"Such a sweet girl," Neneng murmured, kissing her cheek.
The heaviness lifted a little, and we all began eating properly. I tried to eat quickly, knowing Neven was already running around with Athiya and might need chasing soon. Sure enough, halfway through my second bite, he darted across the room holding a spoon like a sword, declaring, "I'm the superhero!"
Lea laughed. "Neven, sit down before your mommy finishes all the rice!"
I shook my head, hurriedly finishing my meal so I could keep an eye on him. "This is my second and last day to be with him before I go back to work," I said softly, half to myself.
Lea looked at me, her expression softening. "Make it count, Noira. These moments… they matter more than you think."
After dinner, while the kids played and the house settled into quiet routines, I sat with my mom-in-law in the bedroom as she gently coaxed Neven to sleep. Her voice was calm, but her words carried weight.
"There's something else, Noira," she began, glancing at me.
I frowned slightly. "What is it, Mama?"
She stroked Neven's hair as she spoke. "I argued with Keon the other day. She told me their plan—that if her husband, Eway, buys that land in the province, they'll go back and live there permanently. Nalyn's family too. All of them together."
I kept my face neutral, nodding. "I see. That… sounds practical."
But inside, my thoughts churned. Practical for them, maybe. But what about us? Noah and I already had our own plan: the house in that same province, waiting. The only barrier was my mother, Kath, needing to push out my father Arden and his mistress Grace. That house was supposed to be ours. That was the silent agreement, the promise I clung to.
I swallowed back bitterness, recalling how Grace had seemed kind before, treating us siblings well. But now I knew it had been more of a facade.
"Mama," I said gently, "if you go home, I'll respect that. But understand this—Neven will stay with me. With us. I won't let anyone else decide for him. If Noah and I both work, we'll find someone we trust to take care of him. But he stays with us."
She looked at me for a long moment. For a second, I thought she might argue. But instead, she nodded slowly, tired resignation in her eyes. "You're his mother. The choice is yours."
I reached out, taking her hand. "Thank you. That means a lot."
The room fell silent, broken only by the soft sound of Neven's breathing as he finally drifted off to sleep. I kissed his forehead gently, memorizing the softness of his cheeks, his toy car still clutched loosely in his little hand.
The next morning came too soon. Before the sun had even risen, I was already awake, my bag packed and my heart heavy. The house was still quiet, shadows stretching long in the dim light.
Pastor Jesthon, Noah's cousin-brother, had promised me a ride to the terminal. True to his word, his motorbike pulled up outside just as the roosters crowed in the distance.
"Ready?" he asked softly as I stepped out with my bag.
I nodded. "Yes. Thank you for taking me."
"No trouble. Family helps family," he said with a small smile.
Before leaving, I crept back into the room one last time. Neven was still asleep, his face peaceful, his tiny fists curled as if guarding dreams. I bent down, kissing his cheeks and forehead gently.
"Goodbye, anak," I whispered, my throat tightening. "Mommy will be back soon."
I lingered for one more moment, committing his sleeping face to memory, before forcing myself to walk away.
Nalyn and Mama both gave their regards quietly as I left, their words still echoing in my mind as I climbed onto the motorbike. The cool morning wind brushed against my face as we rode to the terminal.
The bus was waiting. My chest felt hollow as I boarded, the engine humming beneath my feet. I looked out the window as the house disappeared behind me, and with it, the laughter of Neven, the warmth of dinner, and the complicated ties of family.
I carried them all with me as the bus pulled away—every word, every silence, every plan unspoken.