Damien's POV
The dawn came too quickly.
By the time the pale gold of morning touched the edges of my chamber windows, I was already awake, though I hadn't slept a moment. My body ached from tension, from restraint, from the memory of Adrian's lips and voice echoing in my skull. I had told myself I would leave it at desire, that what passed between us in the secrecy of his castle was a dangerous indulgence, nothing more.
But the moment I closed my eyes, I saw him. And worse, my chest tightened with something I could not name.
Love.
The word hissed at the edges of my mind like a curse. It was absurd. Impossible. Wolves did not fall in love with their enemies. Kings did not fall in love with their rivals. And yet… the thought clung stubbornly to me, refusing to be torn free.
I dragged myself from bed, ignoring the heaviness that clung to my limbs, and let Kael and the servants ready me for the day.
They spoke little, Kael especially, his eyes sharp, his movements quiet, as though he were studying me. I didn't miss the way he lingered too long when fastening the clasps on my armor, or the way he avoided meeting my gaze.
He knew something. Or at least, he suspected.
"Your Majesty," Kael finally said, voice low. "You've not slept."
I adjusted the strap on my shoulder plate, keeping my tone clipped. "I didn't need to."
His brow furrowed. "You carry a different weight than usual. Did something happen at the vampire's court?"
The wolf in me bristled at his question, but I forced myself to relax. "Only wasted words. A meeting that led to nothing but anger."
And Adrian. Always Adrian.
Kael studied me a moment longer, then inclined his head in silence. For now, he would not press. But his silence carried its own suspicion.
The day unfolded as it always did, reports from the border, disputes among lesser lords, and endless preparations for the winter season. Yet my mind refused to stay tethered to the matters of my kingdom. Each time a name was spoken, I heard only his voice instead. Each time I looked at parchment, I saw instead the pale line of his throat, the way his eyes had flared when I'd cornered him in that secret chamber.
I signed decrees with a heavy hand, tearing the parchment more than once.
"Damien," Selene's voice cut through my haze as she entered the council chamber, graceful and cool. "You've been silent for half the morning. The lords grow restless when their king is distracted."
I shot her a sharp look, though she had spoken only truth. "Let them grow restless. My silence weighs more than their endless whining."
Her lips curved faintly, but her eyes narrowed with concern. "Still, it is unlike you."
Unlike me. The words struck deep. She was right. I was not myself, and my people noticed. Wolves followed strength, if they sensed hesitation, doubt, or distraction, they would seize upon it like vultures.
I dismissed the council early, claiming fatigue, though none dared challenge me. Only Kael lingered as I strode down the hall toward my chambers.
"You've been troubled since the vampire's court," he said again, softer this time. "If there's something I should know..."
"There isn't," I snapped, harsher than I intended. He flinched, then bowed his head, masking his reaction.
I exhaled slowly, forcing my voice calmer. "I will tell you when I'm ready. Until then, trust me."
He nodded, though I could tell his trust was strained.
When I was finally alone, I sank onto the edge of my bed, dragging a hand through my hair. The silence of my chambers pressed down on me, heavy and suffocating.
I thought of Adrian again. The way he had looked at me after my harsh words in the council, hurt flickering in his eyes even as he hid it from his people. The way he had teased me in private, lips curling with deliberate provocation, drawing my control thinner and thinner until I broke.
I hated him for it. Hated the way he unraveled me so easily. Hated the way I wanted more.
And yet… gods, I wanted more.
What was he thinking now? Did he regret it? Did he lie in his chambers with the taste of me still clinging to his lips as I tasted him in mine? Or did he push it all away, cold and detached, the way he showed himself to the world?
The thought of him dismissing it, dismissing me burned in my chest.
No. He had wanted me. I had seen it in the way his body yielded, in the way his composure cracked beneath my touch. He might play cold and untouchable before his court, but with me, he was something else entirely.
And perhaps… perhaps that was what terrified me most.
Because if I admitted what this truly was, then I was no longer simply indulging in desire. I was binding myself to him with something stronger, something dangerous.
Something that could destroy both our kingdoms.
That evening, I stood at the balcony of my chambers, the night wind tugging at my cloak, staring toward the horizon where his lands stretched unseen. Somewhere beyond those forests, Adrian paced his own halls. Somewhere beyond that veil of distance, he thought of me or he didn't.
And for the first time in my life, the uncertainty gnawed at me like hunger.
Kael entered quietly behind me. "You've not eaten."
"I'm not hungry."
"Your body says otherwise."
I turned, fixing him with a look sharp enough to cut. "Careful, Kael. You tread too close."
But he didn't flinch. That was the thing about Kael, loyalty made him bold. "I only worry for you, my king. You've returned different. You carry something I cannot name."
I said nothing.
"Whoever burdens you," he continued, "I hope they are worth it. Because if they are not, you risk more than yourself. You risk us all."
His words struck deeper than I wanted to admit.
After he left, I remained at the balcony long into the night, torn between two truths, the king who could not afford weakness, and the man who could not let go of the vampire king's touch.
And for the first time in my reign, I did not know which of them would win.