With a blissful hangover, the Sex God busted through Kadrin's doors just as breakfast was getting started.
Maro got some breakfast beer and some eggs and sat down by the bar area so he could chit chat with Kadrin.
He recounted his escapades to Kadrin who kept slapping Maro, really hard on the back. He almost choked multiple times because of the slaps, but the subsequent slap would always clear his throat.
"Who are you gonna chase after now, there's no eligible women left, at least not within 50km, ha ha ha"
No women left… it's not like he did a census, he just assumed… damnit, he wanted to hang out here for a while since he had a new cabin and enough cash to cover living expenses for a year now.
Kadrin and Maro had an extremely serious discussion regarding where he could find women, how each city's brothels were different and essentially where the best party cities within the Unity Kingdom.
On a side note, he also learned about adventuring guilds, but that wasn't his primary concern until Kadrin told him that A tier heroes and above all had groupies and fans everywhere they went. Never knowing if they would die on a mission, where they will sleep for the night or whom they would sleep with.
The more Kadrin talked about being an adventurer the more hooked on the Idea Maro was… especially since only those who had awakened a class could become an adventurer. This lifestyle appealed greatly to Maro, he wanted nothing more than a carefree life where he could drink, have sex and fight, it was perfect.
He also realized, living costs were almost ten times more expensive in the cities than out here, so he needed to raise some money. He'd still only been in this world for a couple of days, he was still lacking a lot of day to day knowledge, since he was at a logging camp, he figured he would work as a woodcutter for a couple of weeks, try to sell the cabin and then bounce up out of here.
He had Kadrin introduce him to a contracted foreman who hired his own crew. This foreman was a gnome named Gnarlo, a regular at the only place that serves alcohol for kilometers around.
Gnarlo was a meter tall in his fancy obviously lifted boots, he wore relatively nice clothes given his surroundings and had bright green hair and a twirly moustache.
Kadrin had once explained that Gnomes like showing off even more so than Dwarves, despite being short, they were incredibly industrious and the entire race had an affinity towards magic. And, despite the limited number of people who could unlock a class, gnomes made up almost 50% of all mages across the kingdom.
After a quick introduction, Kadrin took his leave to go back to serve the breakfast rush.
In his nasally voice
"So I heard, you fuck so bad, you ran off the camp floosey"
Maro spat his morning beer all over the floor, he coughed and then laughed out loud.
"Seems so"
Gnarlo continued "Frankly I would have hired a healer for before and after, maybe you want to work so you can hire a healer, very brave of you"
Marlo felt a ghost itch on his penis and he started to sweat, ironically one of his worst fears were sexual diseases. He would always be slightly nervous awaiting doctor's results, getting shot or stabbed was easy, getting an STD was tough.
He took a swig of his beer and asked "how bad is it?"
Gnarlo looked serious and leaned in to avoid any orcs or goblins overhearing him.
"Let's just say she was fully booked for every Goblin and Orc holiday, and those green bastards made up random holidays a couple times a month…We're talking Goblin Gangbangs, Orc Gangbangs and mixed goblin/orc gangbangs… but those were rare, any Orc impatient enough was liable to have his way with a goblin in the vicinity or even another Orc if they were weaker"
He continued as Maro got paler and paler…
"Order race STDs are bad enough, you my short lived contractor, have to fear whatever those green bastards carry, and it ain't pretty. There's the Green rot, where decay sets into the tip of your penis and works its way to the base until you have no genitalia left, the entire time you're dripping green pus from the infection… There's the Witches Nose, that's when giant warts start appearing all over your penis, eventually the warts take over your penis and cut off blood flow forever making your penis soft… How could I forget the worst one, Blessing of the Goblin god, that's when your penis shrivels up to half the size of your pinky, it turns green and then starts curling in on itself to look like a goblin penis, they say peeing hurts so much that most people kill themselves after a couple of weeks… Oh and uh"
Maro threw up violently.
Kadrin was behind the bar, he fell on the floor laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe. Gnarlo was hanging on to the bar for dear life, with his body convulsing with laughter…
Maro the ghost, with tears running down his cheeks and throw up dripping off his chin. "Please tell me you guys were joking"
After a couple minutes of wheezing, Gnarlo told him yeah they were messing with him, to go grab his axe and to meet him outside in 5 min so they could head to the work site.
Kadrin was still rolling around on his spit covered floor as Maro left.