The morning light spilled into the room, soft and golden, brushing against the edges of Nathan's face as he slept.
He looked peaceful — the kind of peace I hadn't felt in a long time.
I lay there beside him, staring at the ceiling, counting the beats of my guilt.
Every inhale felt like a lie.
Every exhale, a confession I couldn't say out loud.
I turned to look at him again, his arm loosely around me.
It should have felt safe. But it didn't.
It felt like standing in a room filled with smoke, pretending you could still breathe.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand — a message from Chioma, my coursemate.
"Elena, where are you? They said you didn't show up again. This is serious, girl."
I didn't open it.
I didn't need to.
The reminder of everything I had failed to fix was already carved in my chest.
Nathan stirred beside me. "You're up early," he mumbled, voice rough with sleep.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "Couldn't sleep much."
He reached for me, but I slipped out of bed before his hand touched mine.
"I should probably start heading back," I said.
He sat up slowly, surprised. "So soon?"
"I… I have exams," I lied again, voice trembling just enough to sound believable.
Nathan frowned a little. "Oh. Right. I thought you said you didn't have papers for a few days."
I froze for half a second — the kind of pause that feels like an eternity.
Then I forced a laugh. "Schedule changed. You know how my school is."
He nodded, still looking at me like he didn't quite believe me but didn't want to push either.
"Alright then. I'll walk you to the bus stop after I freshen up."
I shook my head quickly. "No, it's fine. You have your own exam today, right? You should focus. I'll be fine."
He hesitated, then gave a soft smile. "Okay… if you're sure."
"I am."
I wasn't.
While he went to shower, I packed my bag slowly. Every folded shirt felt heavier, like I was tucking pieces of my failure inside.
My eyes burned, but I refused to cry — not here, not in front of him.
When he came out, towel around his neck, he smiled again. "I'll call you later, okay?"
I nodded, forcing my lips into a curve. "Sure."
Then he walked me to the door, kissed my forehead gently, and whispered, "I'm proud of you, Lena."
Something inside me cracked right then.
Because if he knew the truth — that I hadn't even sat for my exams, that Marcus never sent the money, that I'd lied my way through every smile — he wouldn't be proud.
He'd be disappointed.
He'd walk away.
And I didn't think I could survive that again.
As I stepped out of his apartment, the air hit me cold and sharp.
My legs felt heavy, my chest tighter with every step.
The world looked the same, but I wasn't.
On the bus ride back to school, I leaned my head against the window and watched the blur of trees pass by.
My mind was a storm — Marcus' silence, Nathan's softness, my own mistakes all spinning in one place.
When I got to the campus gate, my phone buzzed again.
This time, it wasn't Chioma.
It was from an unknown number.
"Elena, this is the department secretary. You've missed three papers already. If you don't show up tomorrow, you'll be marked absent for the entire semester."
The message hit me harder than I expected.
My hands trembled as I read it over and over.
I wanted to scream.
But all that came out was a small, broken laugh — the kind that sounds more like pain than humor.
I walked straight to my hostel, locked the door, and sank to the floor.
Everything felt like it was falling apart — my love, my future, my peace.
I buried my face in my hands and whispered,
"I ruined everything, didn't I?"
And for the first time, I didn't try to silence the tears that followed.