~ Common Cosmic Malfunctions: Anxiety, Guilt, Self-Awareness ~
"Welcome to the Soul Support Center. Your ticket number is ∞. Please hold…"
~ Inner Alert No. 1: Quantum Void Anxiety ~
Anxiety, dear cosmonaut, is the background noise of every inner voyage.
It usually manifests like this:
You have ten thousand possible paths ahead of you.
You pick one.
Your brain replies: Wrong! Would you like to reconsider every choice made since the Big Bang?
Anxiety is like an orbital station unsure whether to dock or explode.
In other words, it's you every Monday morning.
Don't try to eliminate it. Welcome it. Offer your inner shuttle a cup of chamomile tea and say,
"Okay, let's panic but gracefully."
~ Inner Alert No. 2: Existential Guilt ~
Ah, guilt. That default software feature pre-installed in every human being—courtesy of parents, religions, society, and… your 8-year-old self who made a stuffed animal cry.
In the mental cosmos, guilt is a meteorite that keeps orbiting you even after you've changed galaxies.
Whatever you do from choosing breakfast to failing to become "the best version of yourself" (whatever that means)--it's there.
Technical note: it can't be fixed. But it can be resized.
Treat it like an old system file: it exists, you can't delete it, but you can ignore it while you surf the void.
~ Inner Alert No. 3: Excessive Self-Awareness ~
Self-awareness is a wonderful gift, they say.
Too bad it comes without a manual and includes an auto-zoom feature on all your failures.
Ever caught yourself thinking about yourself thinking about yourself thinking you're doing it wrong?
Congratulations—you've activated the Paralyzing Self-Awareness Loop™ {Lo-oP}.
If you ever feel overwhelmed by your own mental presence, here's what to do:
1. Make a useless decision (e.g., wear mismatched socks).
2. Watch your inner self spiral into panic over something cosmically irrelevant.
3. Laugh.
4. Proceed.
Sometimes, shrinking your ego simply means accepting that you're just a tiny dot joyfully screwing up.
~ Temporary Conclusion ~
(Until you get confused again)
The cosmic glitches of the soul are not meant to be fixed.
They're meant to be mapped, observed, and lovingly mocked—just like bugs in an operating system:
> "We don't know why it happens, but if you reboot the shuttle and pretend it's fine, sometimes it just works."
In the end, the whole adventure of inner cosmonautics is about floating between these small mental disasters… and learning to drift with style.
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~ Bonus ~
COSMONAUT'S PLAYLIST "Surviving the Cosmic Glitches"
An audio collection for facing the voices in your head with cosmic humor.
🎧 "Space Oddity" – David Bowie
To feel lost, but fashionably so.
🎧 "Creep" – Radiohead (lo-fi rain version)
For elegant self-pity.
🎧 "I'm Still Standing" – Elton John
To rise again with cosmic glitter after self-flagellation.
🎧 "Lose Yourself" – Eminem (sad ukulele cover)
For when you want to believe in yourself but your heart is fragile.
🎧 "It's Not My Fault" – Unknown Artist
A cosmic hit no one takes responsibility for—but it's great to cry to.
🎧 "You Deserve the Best" – Narrating AI feat. The Cosmic Band
Bonus track unlocked after three cathartic cries.
Available on: Spotifreak, EmotiTunes, and in your lucid dreams.