I get inside the room and he closed the door.
"Sit here," he said while pointing towards the couch over there.
I sat on the couch. Then he kneeled down in front of me, putting both his hands on my knees, and said while looking straight into my eyes, "Why did you come here all alone? Why didn't you call Wang Ruoxi to pick you up from the hospital?"
"Because I didn't feel like it. I mean, I am okay. Why should I need to call Wang Ruoxi? She was attending her classes, I didn't want to bother her. See, if I call her, then she will come from university to the hospital, then she'll drop me here. It's quite a long process, so it was better for me to do it on my own."
He exhales sharply and said, "Every time you think about others. What if you get unconscious there again and no one is around you? Do you even realize the seriousness of that matter?"
"Yuan, I was already in the hospital. If I even got unconscious or fainted right over there, then that was the safest place. The doctors could treat me right away," I said.
"You don't understand it, you don't." He stands up and turns his back towards me and said in his breaking voice, "It… it was your birthday. I left you there all fine and happy, and when I came back you were covered with blood. Your whole white dress became red like it was never white in color. There was a lot of blood around you and you… you were lying there in an unconscious state. You know what I felt when I lifted you in my arms? That if something really happened to you, then I can't forgive myself. I can't. I never will. Never, ever."
I stand up from the couch where I was sitting and hugged him from behind and said, "Yuan, past is past. Don't think about it right now. I am standing here right in front of you, all fine, all okay. What else do you want?" I asked him.
He turned around and hugged me back while closing his eyes and said, "You don't know, silly one, what peace and relief I get when you are here right in my arms."
I smiled and closed my eyes and said, "And this peace and relief of yours will never ever leave you."
"Promise?" he asked me.
I smiled and said, "Yuan's promise."
He smiled back at me and said, "Now you'll never be able to break your promise, isn't it?"
"Hmm. So you know how much power Yuan's promise holds for me," I said.
"I know. I know everything, whatever you tell me and whatever you didn't tell me," he said.
Then a thought came into my mind suddenly and I broke the hug and said, "You know what, Yuan? Today I saw someone get jealous."
"Jealous? Who?" he asked me.
"A strong, tall, handsome man," I replied.
"No, never. I wasn't," he said.
"So you are accepting that you are a tall, handsome man, isn't it?" I asked him teasingly.
He smiled and said, "Yes, of course. Who else could it be other than me?"
I smiled mischievously and said, "But I think, Mr Yuan, you are getting me wrong. Actually, I was talking about Ji Juan, the new person, not about you."
Then he immediately pulled me closer to him with one hand and said in his deep voice, "Today you have said it, but from next time onwards be careful and don't say such words so easily. You really don't know what they did to me."
"What did they do to you?" I asked him.
"They made me go crazy and—"
"And what?" I asked him.
"And you don't need to know further," he said while tapping on my head.
I rubbed my head a little where he tapped me and said while rubbing it, "You know what? I got jealous."
He leaves me from his grip and said, "And with whom?"
"With the actress you were posing with on the red carpet at the award function. Don't act fool, I have already seen the videos and photos of the two of you. And you even talked to the other actress who was sitting beside you while smiling at her."
"It wasn't like what you are thinking. We were just talking randomly, and it's not like that," he said.
"So I don't care. The only thing I saw in those video clips was that you were smiling and laughing around them," I said.
"Don't be so silly, my girl. You know it very well that it was regarding work, nothing personal," he said to reassure me.
"But right after seeing that video clip, I searched whether Xu Yuan has an upcoming drama series with that actress or not, but there was no announcement regarding that. So in my eyes, you are still guilty," I said.
"So how should this guilty person become innocent?" he asked me.
"I don't know. Figure it out yourself. If I tell you everything by myself only, then what will you do?" I said.
He smiled and said, "Okay, I'll find a way to make it up to my silly girl," he said while pulling my cheeks with both his hands very lightly and gently.
"By the way, congratulations for achieving the Breakthrough Actor of the Year award, and especially for your amazing portrayal of the role of volunteer Li Qingyan in your drama series," I said.
He smiled and said, "Thank you, my silly girl. Next time, we'll go together to any award show."
I smiled and said, "No, I don't think so. I am not that big and I'll never be able to," I said.
"Who said this? You are already bigger than anyone," he said.
I smiled. "Yes, I know, but it's all lies in your eyes," I said.
"So see everything from my eyes. Your world lies in it," he said.
I smiled back at him and said, "It already does. But for me, waiting for you when you get back from the award function and waiting for you at home will be more peaceful. I want that in the future, when you come back from such an award function, you'll sit with me for a while and talk about everything—what happened there, how you felt there," I said.
He smiled. "That also sounds cool."
I smiled back and said, "But I don't know whether that day will ever come or not."
Then he softly and gently held both my arms and said, "If this can happen, then that day will also come one day."
I nodded my head and said, "Hmm. But what were you eating there at the award function? Actually, I saw that video of yours on Weibo," I asked him while tilting my head a little.
"First, you need to stop watching Weibo all the time. Your screen time is increasing very much. Your life will get a bit easier if you reduce using Weibo all the time," he said.
"I can't do it. It was Weibo only that kept me connected to you all these years and gave me every single update of you. Because of it only, I was able to survive those times without you. It's my only way to get closer to you and know about every second of how you spend it. So it's my way of surviving. You can't take it back from me, Mr Yuan."
He smiled and said, "I was eating chocolate at that moment."
"I knew it. I saw that clip too," I said while smiling at him.
"So shameless, girl," he murmured.
"I heard it even more than you think," I replied immediately.
"You heard it?" he asked me.
"Yes, of course. If you murmur that loudly, anyone can hear it. Nothing special in it," I said.
"You are way too impossible to deal with," he said.
I smiled back at him and said, "I know, but still you have to deal with it."
Then I asked him something that I heard from his interview that night when he was wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year. "You said you want to live more with your grandparents now, since from childhood you were living with them and you are very close to them. I also want to visit my Yuan Yuan's grandparents one day. Can I?" I asked him.
"If you ask me that cutely, then I'll take you there right away," he said while smiling.
"Nowadays your girlfriend is keeping an eye on me through Weibo. I need to be very careful from now onwards," he said in a very dramatic tone.
"Are you planning to betray me, Mr Yuan?" I asked him.
He smiled and said, "Close your eyes and place one hand on your heart, and now ask this same question again to your heart and tell me what it answers."
I did as he said and repeated the question again.
"What did it say?" he asked near my ear.
"It said nothing. It just said it's your Yuan, and this is the answer it gave me," I said while closing my eyes.
Then he hugged me right away.
"Yuan, too tight. I am just discharged from the hospital, I am not able to handle your weight," I said.
He smiled and said, "You are my girl. You need to be strong. Yuan's girl needs to be strong."
"Yuan, you are too much," I said while hugging him back.
"And you are very much mine. Very much," he said while hugging me back.
Like this, our thoughts, questions, and everything just dissolved into each other in our comfort. Yuan has always been my soothing and comforting place since long, but I think today I also became his soothing and comforting place. I feel it, yes I can. I just want this time to stop here only, and we'll stay together like this, holding each other so closely, just like we are dissolving into each other's souls, ignoring the world around us that exists. Just you and me together forever like this...