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Rumble—!
The ground shook violently. Ethan paused for a moment, then calmly continued eating.
Earthquakes, tremors, buildings collapsing—stuff like this happened all the time. After living in this bizarre world for a few years, Ethan was used to it.
When he first arrived here, the sight of enormous monsters suddenly appearing out of nowhere had terrified him. But after a few years of near-death experiences, he'd gone from panic to numb acceptance.
Ethan used to be the most ordinary guy imaginable—an average Chinese office worker with no big dreams or hobbies. Work on weekdays, movies and anime on weekends. Life was uneventful, but peaceful enough.
Then one morning, he woke up in this crazy world—full of ridiculous monsters and flashy heroes—and instantly knew something was seriously wrong with the universe.
BOOM!The wall exploded, bricks and dust flying everywhere. It looked like the end of the world.
Ethan frowned, sighing in resignation. "Can't even eat a meal in peace around here."
He quickly covered the table with a food shield (a necessity, these days) to keep the dust out of his dinner.
A massive, one-eyed monster's head poked through the hole in the wall—two, maybe three meters tall. The thing's head alone was bigger than Ethan's entire body.
"You! It's you!"
"Not me!"
"You're giving off… such an irresistible aroma. I just have to take a bite…"
The cyclops drooled, eyes glowing hungrily at Ethan.
This again.
Ever since he crossed into this world, Ethan had discovered a strange "trait" of his—his body naturally emitted a scent that drove monsters wild. Apparently, to them, he smelled delicious.
He rolled his eyes and tapped the wall behind him. "Hey, Saitama! Got a monster here!"
"You calling for help?" the cyclops growled, saliva dripping. "It's useless! Just give up and let me eat you—"
Before it could finish, its mouth snapped open wide, lunging toward him—
—and stopped dead. Its teeth scraped against something unyielding.
The cyclops blinked in confusion. Standing between it and Ethan was a man in a bright yellow jumpsuit, white cape fluttering behind him. His most striking feature: a perfectly bald, gleaming head that reflected sunlight like a giant bulb.
"Who the hell are you?" the monster snarled.
"I'm just a hero for fun," said the bald man flatly.
"What kind of stupid setting is that?! Whatever—move or I'll eat you too!"
"Oh."
The bald man, Saitama, raised his fist and casually brought it down.
BOOM!
The cyclops's head imploded like a watermelon under a hammer. Its headless body toppled backward with a thunderous crash, shaking the ground again.
Saitama turned, looking as unmotivated as ever—round face, blank eyes, and that absurdly shiny dome of a head.
"You came right on time," Ethan said, lifting the cover off his food. "Wanna eat?"
"Sure!" Saitama sat down instantly, smiling like a kid who'd just been offered candy.
Ethan sighed. "You really don't hold back, huh?"
"You offered."
"I was just being polite. You couldn't tell?"
"Nope."
"That's why you're bald."
Saitama's expression twitched. That hit a nerve. His glorious hair had vanished years ago, a casualty of his so-called "training regimen." The baldness was… a sensitive topic.
After the meal, Saitama suddenly stood up, eyes burning with passion. "Ethan Fight me!"
"Sure," Ethan said, handing him the dirty dishes. "Start by washing these."
"Oh. Okay."
He obediently began cleaning the tableware—then froze halfway through. "Wait, what?! Ethan! Didn't you hear me? I said let's fight! These monsters and crooks are way too weak. I've lost all motivation! You're strong—fight me! Rekindle my fighting spirit!"
"After you finish the dishes."
"…Fine."
A few seconds later, Saitama was already back—the dishes spotless. Superhero speed had its perks.
"All done! Now let's fight!"
"Thanks. You can go now."
"Uh—what?"
"Really, it's fine. Goodbye."
Saitama blinked, then stormed toward the door. "Hey! Don't change the subject! I'm serious—fight me!"
"Sorry, no time."
"No time? For what?"
"To fix the wall that monster destroyed."
"I'll do it!"
Before Ethan could stop him, Saitama blurred into motion, a yellow streak darting around the house. In less than ten minutes, the damage was completely repaired—good as new.
"All fixed!"
"Great. Here's your payment."
"Thanks—wait, what payment? Ethan—"
"Today's Saturday. The supermarket's having a discount sale. If I don't leave now, I'll miss it."
"Wait, what?! Sale?! I'm coming too!"
Saitama vanished in a flash.
Ethan stretched, flopped onto his bed, and yawned. "Meal's done. Time for a nap."
"..."
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