[Broadcast Feed: The Flavor Network | Dessert World — Planeta Dulcé — Orbit of Caramelus-9]
The planet looked like a fever dream sponsored by diabetes.
Rivers of molten sugar, clouds made of whipped cream, and mountains of leche that were probably sentient.
Arin Sol stepped off the shuttle, squinting under the glare of a caramel sun.
"Grabe, ang tamis. I can feel my cavities evolving."
Lira followed, her boots sticking slightly to the syrup ground. "We're walking on flan."
He gasped. "Dream come true."
"Nightmare for your pancreas."
He knelt down and scooped a bit of the planet's surface. It jiggled.
He sniffed. "Custard base… burnt sugar top…" He licked it—then winced.
"Ah! Nuclear condensed milk! My tongue's having an out-of-body experience."
"Stop licking planets!"
"Research, Lira! Culinary courage!"
"Culinary stupidity."
1 — THE CHALLENGE
The mission card flickered in midair:
ROUND SEVEN — THE COSMIC LECHE FLAN.
Objective: Craft the universe's smoothest custard using celestial ingredients.
Ingredients required: The Phoenix Egg of Alpha Bistek, the Caramel Core of Caramelus-9, and the Milk of a Comet Cow.
Warning: Excess sweetness may collapse nearby timelines.
Arin's eyes sparkled. "Finally. Dessert with consequences."
Lira crossed her arms. "You say that like that's new."
He pulled out a holo-map. "The Phoenix Egg is up there—inside a volcano that breathes whipped cream."
Lira blinked. "That's… actually horrifying."
"Yeah, but imagine the protein content."
2 — THE PHOENIX EGG HUNT
They scaled a frosting mountain while the volcano burped rainbow smoke.
Arin clutched his Quantum Knife, its blade glinting gold.
"Lira, when I die, tell the network I went out doing what I love."
"Being an idiot?"
"Making dessert!"
The volcano erupted—whipped cream, caramel shards, and one Celestial Phoenix, blazing and majestic, wings dripping syrup.
Arin gawked. "It's like bibingka and a volcano had a baby."
The Phoenix screeched, fire feathers igniting the sky.
Lira ducked behind a rock. "You do realize it's guarding the egg, right?"
He nodded. "Then it's a family recipe."
He sprinted forward, dodging caramel meteors, and leapt.
"AYOS CUT: CARAMEL FORM!"
The Quantum Knife split a caramel boulder in two, crystallizing it midair.
Arin landed on the bird's back, yelling, "Relax! I just want one egg! Maybe two if it's organic!"
The Phoenix screeched and hurled him off into a vat of molten flan.
Lira sighed. "This man is why seatbelts exist."
Seconds later, Arin resurfaced—covered in flan, holding a glowing egg.
"Success!" he shouted. "And dessert topping!"
3 — MILKING THE COMET COW
The next ingredient required "The Milk of a Comet Cow."
The cows drifted through orbit, mooing in zero gravity, leaving trails of condensed milk behind them.
Lira aimed her Whisk Blaster at one. "You want me to shoot it?"
"No! You milk it gently, with respect. Like talking to your crush."
She stared at him. "You've never talked gently to anyone."
"Exactly. I'm due for a change."
He floated over, gently patting the glowing creature.
"It's okay, mama. We're just borrowing a little."
The cow blinked, then sneezed—spraying him with a jet of milk so strong it launched him back into orbit.
"ARIN!"
He spun midair, laughing. "I GOT IT! KIND OF! AYOS!"
4 — THE COOKING BEGINS
Back on the platform, Arin's workstation looked like a cross between a kitchen and a collapsing dimension.
He cracked the Phoenix Egg—light poured out, singing in F major.
He mixed it with comet milk, Twin Sun Salt, and the planet's own caramel.
Lira covered her nose. "It smells like heaven and diabetes had a boxing match."
He stirred slowly, the Quantum Knife acting as a whisk, its vibration controlling the custard's molecular wobble.
"Lira, remember—flan isn't cooked. It's persuaded."
"That's not how cooking works."
"Tell that to my ancestors."
The custard glowed. Reality bent.
Sugar atoms started self-replicating.
Lira looked at her blaster. "Arin, it's multiplying."
He smiled. "Good. That means it's fermenting."
"It's eating the counter!"
"Every great recipe requires sacrifice."
5 — THE FLAN AWAKENS
The flan rose from the pot—massive, golden, floating.
It blinked.
Lira froze. "Arin… the flan has eyes."
"That means it's ready!"
"It just whispered 'father'."
"See? Bonding!"
The flan pulsed. Sugar storms erupted around it. The platform shook.
Judges screamed as the entire arena tilted.
The announcer droid's voice glitched.
"Contestant Arin Sol appears to have created… sentient dessert. Judging parameters unclear."
Arin proudly plated a smaller piece. "Behold—Cosmic Leche Flan. The taste of enlightenment."
Lira whispered, "You've created flan that can feel emotions. You're a monster."
6 — THE TASTE TEST
The lead judge—half vapor, half critic—took one trembling bite.
Silence.
Then—light exploded from his mouth, shooting into the sky.
"I can taste… my childhood!" he cried.
Another judge sobbed. "I can taste my ex's forgiveness!"
The sentient flan softly hummed "Bahay Kubo."
Lira blinked. "Did it just sing?!"
Arin wiped a tear. "Yeah. I think it's homesick."
7 — THE AFTERTASTE
"ROUND SEVEN WINNER — TEAM EARTH!" the announcer declared.
Confetti rained down—made of caramel, of course.
Lira leaned back, exhausted. "You just made dessert that achieved sentience."
Arin nodded, licking his spoon. "Yup."
"What happens now?"
He looked over at the flan, which was now teaching the droids how to dance.
"It'll be fine. I gave it free will and a recipe book."
"Arin—"
"Relax. It's dessert, not destiny."
The ground trembled. The flan glowed again.
Lira's eyes widened. "It's ascending."
The flan rose into the sky, glowing brighter until it vanished into the caramel sun.
Arin smiled softly. "There it goes. My baby… and my cholesterol."
Lira sighed. "One day, your cooking's gonna end the universe."
He winked. "Yeah—but ayos 'di ba?"
End of Chapter 8