The ride was silent; no one said a word.
No words were needed anyway.
His grip on the wall trembled slightly as the thought of seeing his mother again crossed his strained mind.
It felt foreign to him, as if the past had faded.
But it hadn't, it just quieted down.
He reached his house soon, which was still the same as he had seen it the last time.
It felt like… There was heat disguised as warmth.
He got off the bike and took his steps towards the gate, his heart calmer than the last time.
But how could he deny the child in him who wanted to see his mother just once…Hear her talk, ask him how his life has been…how he is doing.
Anyone who'd had a childhood like that must be familiar with this feeling.
It felt wrong to feel that… but again felt wronged to feel that.
"Oh man…How long has it been?" He asked himself, as calm as ever.
The first knock was slow, as if making sure this was the house he'd grown up in.
The second was less hesitant.
The third came out firm enough to alert someone the front door made a noise.
"It must be Si-Hun. Ji-Ho, son go get your bag." His mother's voice was audible to him outside the house.
And he didn't want to think that…but he felt a little sting when he heard his mother call his brother "son.''
His mother came at the door after a few seconds.
She saw her son had grown a little taller…more heaviness in his eyes and she noticed the way his shoulder tensed up a fraction when he saw her and the way his eyes opened a little more.
"It's my mom…" Of course she was.
Why were these stupid thoughts crossing his mind right now?
"Oh…Han Si-Hun…it's…you. It's been long since I've seen your face.
"Y-yeah mom…How are you doing?" His reply came out shaky, almost desperate.
"I've been doing fine. Ji-Ho must be here any second. Excuse me."
"Oh."
His finger found its way to his mouth; he was just biting his nail.
He had asked her how she was hoping she would ask him something back.
He knew her response… but pretended dismissing that thought.
Ji-Ho came down just then, smiling as lively as ever.
"Yo bro! Missed me?" He dropped.
"Totally! Hop on!" His voice was calm as if nothing ever happened.
Ji-Ho got on the bike, and Si-Hun started the engine but stopped when he heard his mother call Ji-Ho.
"Yes mom!?" He asked seeing his mother walk with a bag.
"You forgot your cookies! I didn't spend two hours in the kitchen making these!" His mother scolded.
"Thank you mom. I'll head out."
"Take care!" He heard his mother call out as Si-Hun drove off.
Why wouldn't it sting seeing his mother care the way for someone else the way he'd wished to be treated by her?
"I'm sorry about it…Hyung." His brother's voice interrupted.
He knew what he meant but he didn't acknowledge it.
"For what?"
"About mom…"
"Oh that's alright! Don't you worry!" He brushed off as it hadn't made him vulnerable.
His brother didn't escalate.
They reached his apartment soon after.
Si-Hun settled his brother's things while his brother searched the fridge.
"Ain't you got some good snacks!? Why do you have all boring food in your pantry?"
"Because I eat healthy and not survive on junk. Get yourself something good and we'll have snacks later at the convenience store."
"Who'll take me out?"
"Do you see anyone else beside me?"
"Um..no."
"Exactly.''
"I was just teasing!"
"I know," Si-Hun chuckled off.
"I didn't have breakfast because of you. Now let me have it in peace and have yours if you didn't already!"
"Okay okay!"
"Hey you! Don't go over there!" Kuro said as he grabbed Nox's neck, stopping him from going over the breakfast table."
Si-Hun slightly glanced back to see what they both were doing, but Kuro gave him a bright smile to which he continued eating.