Author: Safa Azam
Han Si-Hun-Novis(Caster Type)
"Ahh!"
"Ughh"
He was trying to charge a fireball using his magic at the monster in front of him, just a weak little monster who could be taken down by
just one attack, but fighting him was an even weaker and frightened Si-Hun, who couldn't even kill a feral, which was the least dangerous monster group.
"Why does my magic never work?"He he said, clearly frustrated.
Just then
Splash!
Another predator killed that monster in just one attack.
Si-Hun flinched at the sudden action, feeling embarrassed.
"Come on man! At least do some effort."
"Effort"
That word pierced through his chest hard.
He WAS making an effort, he was trying.
"Thanks, man."
He said bluntly.
The other man left, leaving Si-Hun's mind racing with thoughts about self-doubt.
Why?... Why am I so weak? They are right, I am a pathetic little loser."
After the portal gate was cleared, everyone headed their way. Si-Hun saw them leave, laughing, eating, and talking about how many monsters they took down.
This feeling wasn't unfamiliar to Si-Hun, but today it felt more pronounced; he felt like an absolute moron.
"Guess that's how it is for me."
He walked home alone with his bag hanging lazily off his right shoulder.
He was not even halfway home when suddenly there was a thunder and in the next moment, it started pouring.
"Great!"
He didn't have an umbrella, and he was all wet, water dripping over his forehead; his hair was damp, and his clothes clung to his body, exposing his relatively skinny and weak upper body.
He was near his home when suddenly he stepped into a gutter hole that was not closed properly.
"Why don't these bastards close this after opening!?"
His whole foot was covered in dirt and wet mud.
He was drenched with muddy feet, as the day already wasn't so bad, this made it even worse.
He walked slowly, with deliberate steps, while looking down, feeling broken.
The weight of everyone's comments about him feeling heavier, he was losing it, but still kept quiet. He knew that defending wasn't an option, just a drain of his energy and words.
Si-Hun reached home and didn't even change, just went to the balcony of his room, seeing Seoul city alive as ever.
"I wish I were not such a moron and pathetically weak. I..I need to show everyone what I can be! I will show them how this weak loser can be more than just a loser!"
He said with frustration.
He did intend to change, but this was not for himself; it was to "impress" others. He was just a normal teen, wanting attention just like every other teen; he wanted to be "seen", to feel worthy.
Other predators with higher ranks called him "weak", "pathetic", "useless", maybe, not in front of him, but behind his back, and he knew it all.
The rumors, the names, everything, and it… hurt. He was weak, maybe not by choice, but he tried so many times to be stronger. Si-Hun was just an ordinary guy. He was 22. He lived with his parents and his younger brother, Ji-Ho. His parents ran a small grocery store, which was not running that well at the time being. He knew that they were struggling; he was too. His father, one night, came to his room with a serious expression and said to him.
"I want to have a talk with you."
Si-Hun straightened up.
"Yes, Dad."
"Si-Hun, you know how business is not going well, and it is hard to cover all of our expenses and to feed everybody in the house; we don't have that much money. It's time you get a job and cover your expenses yourself. You've graduated from high school now, and college will take too long. I'm sorry, but you need to get up on your feet and not be a freeloader around the house."
Si-Hun looked at his father's serious face, overwhelmed by the sudden words.
He never really had a fatherly bond with his father, so it was hard explaining something to him; his father never truly understood him, it was like he was talking to a rock.
"But I want to continue my education, only then I could have a nice job, how can I cover my expenses on my-
Si-Hun was cut off by his father's fierce voice.
"Young man, you need to learn how to live on your own, you're a grown ass man!, You heard me, I won't pay your expenses for you, you'll need to do it yourself, give your university dropout application tomorrow."
"Okay, Dad," he said bluntly and looked down.
He wanted to tear up, let his emotions out, say to his father that he does not want to do all this, he wants to live his life freely, not with all the pressure he was under, just like everyone else around him did, but fate had other plans.
"Good, just as I wanted you to respond." His father said, pleased.
And then he walked out, leaving Si-Hun staring at the floor like it would fix everything. His knees felt weak, and they gave up on him. He collapsed down and let his warm tears slide down his cheeks.