The silence in the carriage felt heavy. My mind raced, scrambling for something, anything to fill the void between Alexander and I. I couldn't grasp on what had occurred tonight. I mean, how did it happen? And why didn't I see it coming? But most importantly, what did this mean for me now? Each question seemed to breed another, like a never-ending chain reaction. I felt a sense of urgency, an overwhelming need to understand every detail, to piece together the puzzle. I glanced around nervously, avoiding eye contact with Alexander, and shifted my weight from one side to the other. My throat tightened as the seconds dragged on, each one amplifying the awkwardness of the moment.
Finally, Alexander turned in his chair beside me, and glanced down at me expectantly. "What is it that's bothering you so much?" Alexander asked softly.
I was immediately taken aback. My mind struggled to process the question, the words hung in the air, hitting me like a sudden gust of wind.
I frowned. "What makes you think something is bothering me?"
Alexander grinned. "The questions circling your mind is giving me a headache. You seem to forget that I am a vampire, or have you forgotten the fact that I have certain abilities?"
My mouth felt dry, and I swallowed hard, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me. "Sorry." I chuckled nervously. My palms were slick with sweat and I kept wiping them on my dress, trying to find some semblance of composure.
"Don't be." He gave my knee a light squeeze. "You can ask me anything, Jane. Don't feel like you can't."
"Very well." I felt the tension melt away from my shoulders. It was like a weight lifting off my chest, allowing me to finally breath deeply. My pulse slowed and a warm wave of relief washed over me. I swallowed heavily and said. "It's about Lilith and Phoenix."
Glancing over, he carried himself with an effortless grace, every movement exuding a quiet assurance. His eyes, clear and steady, seemed to take in everything without a hint of doubt. When he spoke, his voice was calm and measured, each word deliberate and confident. He arched a brow. "Go on."
I hadn't realised how much I'd been holding my breath, but now, every inhale felt smoother and more effortless. I cleared my throat. "Were you really not surprised to see them together?"
He smiled. "Like I said, I've known about their relationship for a very long time."
"How long exactly?" I asked, curious to know the answer.
He exhaled softly. "For as long as I can remember."
My frown deepened, unable to understand. "And you're okay with that?"
"Relieved." He released a heavy exhale. "Truly."
I scoffed. "...But she is your fiancé, is she not?"
Alexander remained silent for a long moment, his attention fixed in front of him. "She's my fiancé purely because our parents arranged it, but I don't intend on going through with the wedding."
My brows rose. "Why not?"
He ran his hand through his dishevelled hair. "Because I do not love her. Not anymore, and not in the way she wants."
"Anymore?" I asked.
He remained silent.
"What is your history with her?" I asked. "I ask out of curiosity, but if you do not want to share it with me, I will not hold offence."
Alexander took a deep breath, and for a moment, I thought he wouldn't share his story, but then he began to speak. "Lilith and I met...a very long time ago. This was years before the rebellion started, and it was when humans and vampires saw each other as equals and not as enemies. I had seen her many times, in markets, in taverns, in flower gardens, but never had the courage to speak to her. I instead, admired her from afar, until one night I had to intervene after a drunken man tried to take advantage of her. I thought she would need my aid, but she was capable of taking care of herself." He chuckled to himself as if recalling the memory right then and there. "After introducing ourselves that night, we began to spend more time together and that's when I knew that I was doomed."
I frowned at his choice of words. "Doomed? Why?"
"Because she was human." He said simply.
"I don't understand..."
"I was prepared to lose everything - my title, my parents, even my reputation, but I didn't care." He said, his voice thick with emotion. "I knew my parents would disapprove of my choice and knew they would disown me. You see, a human wife would never be accepted into the Royal family, but I loved Lilith and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I even made a vow to myself, that when she grew old and frail, that I would leave this earth with her and join her in the afterlife where we would spend eternity together, forever. But the future had different plans for us both."
As I listened to his words, a lump formed in my throat, and I felt my eyes start to sting. I tried to blink back the tears, but it was no use - they spilled over, tracing warm, wet paths down my cheeks. I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke, and I felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and comfort him.
"You would've given up your immortal life just to be with her?" I asked, my voice barely audible.
"She was all I ever wanted. And with her gone, there would've been no reason for me to stay." His eyes met mine, and in that moment, a silent understanding passed between us. The silence that followed was not awkward, but rather filled with a profound sense of closeness.
My voice wavered as I tried to respond, but all I could manage was a choked whisper. "What happened?"
Alexander scoffed. "Phoenix happened."
I looked out of the window of the carriage and sighed, clicking my tongue in distaste. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
He clenched his jaw as he responded. "It's what Phoenix always does when he wants something. He'll do whatever it takes to get it, even if it means playing dirty."
I shake my head, appalled, when suddenly the carriage comes to a stop outside of the palace. Alexander whooshes out of his side, opens my door and gives me his hand. I willingly take it with one hand, and carefully step out of the carriage, holding the seam of my dress with the other.
He stood still and studied me for a moment. He then lifted a hand to touch my arm, but lowered it before his fingers could graze the fabric of my dress. "You looked...beautiful tonight and I very much enjoyed your company. I cannot express how sorry I am that Lilith ruined your night."
I smiled a small smile. "She did not ruin my night at all. Phoenix did, but that was to be expected."
Chuckling, Alexander and I walked arm in arm towards the palace, when a thought occurred to me. "What would happen if the people knew of Lilith and Phoenix's affair?"
"Lilith's name would be tarnished, and her titles would be stripped completely from her. Then, her family would be forced to disown her, and she'd most likely have to settle to being a street whore. But knowing Lilith, she would rather die than choose that lifestyle. Her ego is far too precious for that."
The palace doors magically open by themselves. As soon as we step inside the palace, the doors close behind us. The warmth provided inside of the palace washes over my skin like a warm, knitted blanket.
I took a moment to gather my thoughts, then replied. "And what of Phoenix?"
He grunted at the mention of the name. "He would most likely move away and start a new life somewhere else."
I narrowed my eyes at Alexander. "And does that bother you? Not seeing Phoenix ever again?"
"Absolutely not!" He guffawed. "It would be a blessing."
My eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Why?"
"Because he is selfish and cruel, and doesn't care about anyone other than himself. If the people were to find out about their affair, he would throw Lilith aside and leave her to bear the brunt of it all and he would do it in an instant, and not think twice about it. He is a heartless man who thrives on hurting people. You know that yourself."
"That may be true, but I do believe that he cares deeply for Lilith." I said.
He leaned forward slightly, his gaze fixed on me. "You've known him for no more than a week. Have I missed something?"
I shook my head. "No, it's just that tonight I overheard Lilith and Phoenix speaking, and to me it sounded like he loves her very much."
Alexander rolled his eyes. "He thinks he loves her. But he'll grow tired of her eventually, and when he does...world war three will begin, and Lilith does not take kindly to rejection."
"But despite her fooling around with Phoenix, she loves you, you know?"
He shrugged. "I know she does."
"And that's not enough for you?"
Suddenly, he was right in front of me, and I felt a soft, reassuring squeeze and looked up to meet his eyes, which were full of a quiet intensity. "One day, I will marry somebody, but it won't be because my family made it that way. I will marry someone that makes me feel alive and happy, not somebody who wants me for my power and title. This person will be someone that I'm willing to die for, and trust me I am ready to die. I have lived a long, and lonely life, and would feel eternally grateful to fall in love with someone that loved me for who I am. Even if it lasts only for a short period of time, I would still be grateful. I have waited years to find my bride, but I'm willing to wait longer for her if that's what it takes. Truth be told, I am scared of giving my heart to somebody again, especially if that person does not wish to have it. But until then..." He gently took my hand, and brought it to his lips. The touch of his lips on my skin was delicate and warm, sending a shiver up my arm. "Goodnight, Jane."
As soon as he leaves, my breath caught in my throat, and I felt my cheeks flush. the world seemed to stand still for a moment, the sounds of the palace fading into the background. All I could focus on was the gentle press of his lips and the way his eyes never left mine. Even as I lay in bed that night, wide awake, Alexander was on my mind.