Somewhere, between the world and universe...
23.02 Monday, 31 January 20xx
The clock was ticking, in the silence, while the monitor brightness filled some space in this void-like office room, while the cup noodles and instant coffee cans were scattered on my desk.
Leaning back into my chair and stretch every single part of my body that was stiff like a statue. God knows how long I was sitting in this shitty chair.
Looking at the bottom edge of my monitor, the clock already shows nearly midnight, yet I am still trying my best to finish this overtime work. How many hours was it again? I can't remember it anymore.
My eyes hurt
Rubbing my eyes, while my other arm saves the files I was working on for today, well, tonight? whatever
Seeing how the night scenery was from my chair, it's still as beautiful as ever, the moon, the night sky, and the constellation... It's how I always thought of them, but somehow, no matter how many times I see them, I can't be bothered anymore about it...
When was the last time I complimented the nighttime?
I'm tired
"I'm really tired."
How long can I keep living like this?
My hand reached between my waist and pulled the item out, and the moonlight was reflecting between them as I saw my own face on it.
How unsightly, the one who usually takes care of his appearance now looks like a corpse, how my eye bag looks like it could peel out anytime right now, how my eyes could be compared with dead fish eyes, though I do somewhat manage to clean my beard and style my hair, cause of the rules of this shitty corporation,
"Should I just end my life today..."
As I held the item, the knife reversed, pointed down into my heart, with a weird confidence and steady hand.
with inhaling breath... and held the knife tightly
I was moving my hand with enough strength and speed till...
...
Without any warning or notice, a blackout is happening.
"Not today... I guess"
As I released my strength from the knife and put it back inside its pocket, hiding it between my waist and my body.
From my point of view, the corporation building was indeed placed in a perfect place, as there isn't any tall building nearby... I can't say much about this building...
The moonlight stretches upon the world with its silvery light, the world looks weirdly pale, without any source of light, lit from above.
"Blackout out of nowhere... pretty weird"
Take it out of my phone from my pocket and turn on its light, the office room that was already dark before, becomes darker because of the blackout.
After carefully placing the paperwork for today's work, I leave the room, walking in the hallway, with this little light source, which was like playing horror games...
"Not that I'm afraid of ghosts, but still, it's pretty creepy given there shouldn't be any blackout happening without a reason."
Whatever, this isn't a horror story nor horror games anyway, as I stepped inside the elevator, forgetting that they can't function in this situation
"Habit hard to break..."
-----
After I stepped into the first floor, I met with Uncle Security, who is one of the people I'm close with
"Hello, uncle, it seems a blackout is happening at the moment. As far as I can see from the higher floor, it seems the entire city is in complete darkness."
"Ahh... hello, hello, Aronn, yeah, it seems so, I was trying to turn on the generator, but I was forgetting where I was putting the keys before, hahaha" as he scratched the back of his head, in a shy manner.
"Is that so? Should I help too, unc-"
"No need, no need," he patted my back.
"You should go back home already. How long do you want to stay tonight? You should take care of your body more."
"hahaha" I laugh awkwardly.
"Alright then, uncle, let me buy you a coffee tomorrow, then," before I walk away and wave my hand.
I walk on a familiar street, glancing into the usual restaurant that opens 24hours was closed, the street light that often hums was turned off, the vending machine that often runs out of stock of coxe was filled with nothing but darkness, and a children's playground that was full of my childhood memories...
Somehow, I could see a kid version of me playing around there alone, building a sand castle with its own hand, pushing the swing itself, and then sitting on it, and such..
"How embarrassing," as the voice left my mouth in a sharp tone, accidentally...
Without further thought, I walked away from it and went straight home.
With the sound of the key in the door, and opening it
"I'm home..."
Saying those words every time I went home, even though I knew no one was going to answer it
Locking the door behind me while glancing up into the photo frame that was standing on top of the shelf near the shoe rack...
A small happy family... that's how they see it from the outside.
Despite that, I always clean the photo frame every time I go near it, the look of my father smiling like nothing but confidence, the graceful smile of my mother, and some naive kid smiling like an idiot.
After I wiped it clean, from the dust, and how light perfectly makes it more like a memory, even the shadow was afraid to stick its black ink into the photo frame, that's just how clean it is
Placing them back into their usual place, I went straight into my room, throwing my back on the floor and just lying on the bed facing the ceiling.
Take out my phone and open its messages, there's nothing more than my message to my mother's number and my father's message...
I tried writing a message to my mother.
"Mom, are you doing well? Please take care of your health."
again
Despite knowing, the same message was sent once a day without any answer or even being read, checking at her contact info, the last online was today at 20.11
It's still blacked out, and then a new notification popped up.
Father was sending a new message... again.
Opening my father's new message, the only thing he sent to me is
> When are you going to receive your salary? (yesterday, 12.05)
> I need money, fast. When are you going to respond? Have you forgotten your own father? (today, 09.44)
>you fxgxxxt, reply! Or I will go there right now (just now, 23.58)
"I haven't received my salary today, it's tomorrow," I reply to him.
Before I put my phone on the table beside my bed, I ignored the new notification.
...
Every time I lie down in this bed, this room, this position, it's nothing but a reminder of your presence, memory, and your warmth...
"I'm not as strong as you think..."
"Dear... I'm tired..."
"I miss you."
Before I fell asleep
------
The dream... was ours... should I say mine only for now?
It's the first time I've met her.
The first time we went on a date, the first time we held hands together, the first time we kissed, the first time... was nothing but with her..
Yet how cruel was the universe, taking her, my only anchor within this ugly world, she is my everything...
It's like you're not satisfied if I were happy, no?
06:22 Tuesday, 1 February 20xx
Waking up with dry eyes, rubbing my eyes, I noticed it was wet, and a fair amount of light, small rivers of tears were making their way to a beautiful pattern within my pillow.
Walking into the bathroom made me realize that the blackout had already passed, given how the bathroom light was turned on, making me forget how my house lights were turned off because no one turned them on.
I don't know what time at the moment, nor do I care, as I'm going late to work today.
Just seeing my own unsightly face alone already makes me Angry? Lazy? Disappointed? Honestly, I don't even know.
After that, I'm just doing my morning routine, brushing my teeth, putting on my outfit, styling my hair, and such.
After finishing all of them, I was opening my phone just to check the current time, and it was perfectly 8 in the morning.
"Still 1 hour left"
Locking my phone back again and putting it into my pocket, ignoring the train notification from my father last night
While making breakfast, I was turning on the TV as background noise, it's nothing but just unimportant news as usual, that's what I thought, but the news about the blackout piqued my interest.
I didn't hear the first part, as I was busy making my breakfast.
"...because of that, we had a blackout for the entire night. Gladly, they fixed the electricity as fast as possible, given..."
"Huh? So, there's a reason behind that blackout..." while eating my breakfast.
I should research that later, for now, I should go to work, otherwise God knows how long I will arrive, because how busy the streets usually are.
------
On the way to my work, I was walking while researching the reason for yesterday's blackout.
Monday, 31 January 20xx, blackout
The cause of the reason was unknown, but the professional made a few speculations. Currently, the highest percentage of the reason behind it was because of solar storms...
"Seriously...?"
Solar storms should also disturb the network service, even I know something like that... probably the blackout happens cause the government is testing something and hides those things as usual.
"How dumb can political or government be? They should research why most of them were dumb."
My phone was ringing.
When I looked up, it was from my father, so unusual for him to do a video call.
"I should probably answer it."
I answered the video call. But instead of his face, the screen was filled with a hellish, glowing red. Fire.
"MY HOME?!" I was in shock and started running toward my house.
My mind was blank.
What happen?
As I run as fast as possible while holding my phone tightly, seeing the black fog far away enough makes my heart beat faster and faster.
I can't breathe.
When I arrived, he's already gone, a lot of crowds, some of them called firefighters.
Without stopping my pace, I just ran straight inside my house, despite someone trying to block my way and stop me.
After entering the front door, the usual photo frame was already turned into charcoal, but I kept running into my bedroom.
There's something important, the only thing that keeps me walking despite how shitty my story is
Kicking the door and opening the cabinet where I put them
My album book
Filled with childhood, holidays, things I do with my parent... and memories of her...
With a trembling hand, I pick them up despite them being slightly burned up, and start running again, leaving the house.
Before I realized it, the house that was so silent, now filled with nothing but sounds of burning... the usual empty space of the house now even filled by black fog that makes it hard to see the way properly
I'm dizzy... perhaps because I inhaled the fog too much already.
My eyes are now blurry...
With a loud sound of something breaking, the ceiling fell and covered me in its warm hug.
I could barely maintain my consciousness.
Looking back, I should have just ended my life sooner, if I were going to die painfully like this...
I couldn't see... It's so silent... and so cold... did the fire already die out?
If so, then let me rest... first...
------
a new notification
from mother, 08:55 Tuesday, 1 February 20xx
"I'm sorry that I couldn't be a good mother. Mom already moved on, and you should too."