The automatic sliding glass doors open and I step through making my way to the elevators of Harborview. I patiently wait for the stainless steel doors to open and when they do I get in and press for floor three. A minute later the doors reopen and on the opposite side waiting their turn for the elevator is Roman. Oh god, he looks so beautiful tonight, there's literally nothing different about him today than any other day but my feelings have intensified if that's even possible. He smiles widely when his green eyes meet my blues. His impeccable ebony hair is loosely styled back and I so desperately just want to run my fingers through it to affirm that it does in fact feel as soft and silky as it looks.
"Jess, hey, how was your week off?" Roman asks, smile still plastered on his beautiful sun-kissed face.
Though I did work the other day as a fill-in, he wasn't here so I didn't see him. I want to blurt out that it was terrible because seven days without seeing him is close to misery but I obviously don't instead I tell him it was good. It wasn't, I literally lay in bed, watched Love is blind on repeat, went to the dentist, tried to run every day but after a quarter mile gave up and walked the rest of the two miles, and finally scrolled social media for an embarrassingly amount of time.
As I step out of his way he brushes my arm with his and my skin ignites while the woodsy scent of him invades my nostrils nearly making my eyes roll to the back of my head in satisfaction.
"I'll just be a few minutes, see you at the nurses' station for shift change," he says before the silver doors close.
I walk the short distance to the nurses' station and we await shift change reports on our patients for tonight. Loren is sitting at the computer typing away as I sit next to her lighting up my own computer screen. I hover my ID badge over the monitor and wait for my login to let me in.
"It's going to be a busy night," Loren says keeping her ocean blue eyes on the screen.
"Great," I respond with an eye roll.
She tucks her honey colored biolage hair behind her ear concentrating on whatever task she is doing. Minutes later Lindsay, Chloe, and Violet gather around the nurses' station waiting for Roman and Lucy, our charge nurse to fill us in on patients and instructions for the night. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and since Dr. Ridley hasn't arrived back yet I take it out and view the message.
Char: break together at 11? Got a bit of a scoop on Cole
Me: I'll try, beds are pretty full tonight
Normally during a night shift, breaks are pretty attainable because patients are sleeping but on a busy night, it's a coin toss. Two years ago when I worked in the emergency department breaks were only a fantasy. The emergency department was exciting, not necessarily in a fun way just a constant adrenaline rush, fast paced, chaotic, rewarding, and also devastating a lot of the time. Being an emergency nurse ran me ragged so when a position opened for a hospitalist nurse I dove at the opportunity. They only had night shift available, while I usually worked day I didn't particularly mind having to do overnights. The excitement on this floor is still there but it's a necessary pace change that I needed.
Dr. Ridley's sudden presence grabs all of our attention as soon as he comes into view from around the corner. All of us girls have the hots for him in a way, he's another McDreamy. Though we all find him attractive I get the sense that I'm the only one who is deeply interested in him. Loren and Lindsay are happily married, Chloe has a boyfriend of two years and I suppose I shouldn't have included Violet in the attraction party because men aren't her cup of tea.
I barely register what Roman is reporting because I can't stop staring at his lips. Ultimately what I heard is that I have four patients who include the following, pneumonia, post op tumor removal, unknown respiratory distress, and overnight observation for someone who had a heart attack earlier today.
…
So far my shift is going off without a hitch. It's nearing eleven o'clock and three of my four patients are asleep. Before I head down to meet up with Charlotte I check up on my awake patient, my post op surgery one, Eleanor. She's twenty-five and CT revealed a tumor on her ovary. She shifts uncomfortably in the bed and sits straighter when she sees me.
"Hey," Eleanor whispers wiping a tear from her cheek.
"Hey, everything okay?" I ask standing by her bedside.
She shrugs her shoulders and looks away, red creeping to her cheeks in what I assume is embarrassment. I wish that every patient knew they don't need to be embarrassed about anything and I'm just here to care for them not judge by any means.
"Sorry, I'm just a mess," she swipes her nose and snot lingers on her hand.
"I just got married in May, I'm twenty-five, I want kids and now I don't know if I even can. A hysterectomy is inevitable isn't it?" The sorrow I feel for this girl is prominent.
"Ellanor, nothing is for certain until the biopsy results come back and even then there are options before such a permanent decision," I explain.
She gives me a small smile pushing her cinnamon hair to one side, "I guess you're right."
I have Eleanor lie on her back flat so I can access her incision. The tumor on her left ovary was an above-average size which caused the surgeon to do a Laparotomy instead of opting for a laparoscopic removal. My guess is that she'll be hanging out here for the better half of my scheduled work week.
"Everything is looking good," I say after the examination.
She pulls down the light green hospital gown to cover herself when the phone sitting on the rolling table starts to ring. She rocks the phone back and forth waving it in her palm, "It's my husband."
"Okay, if you need anything please don't hesitate to press the call button," I reassure.
She thanks me and I exit her room quietly closing the thick wooden door behind me. As I leisurely walk down the hallway I look at the landscape paintings that decorate the teal walls. The sound of singing dances in my ears, becoming louder as I near the elevator and I already know who that voice belongs to, Mary Jean. Sometimes on her more peaceful days or nights she'll sing and no matter the day I've had it puts a smile on my face. As I pass her room the door is open and I see her small frame sitting on the edge of the bed staring out the window. I once complimented her voice and she told me to rot in hell so I know better than to say anything while she sings. As long as Mary Jean can find a light in the destruction of her mind I too hold peace in my soul.