When I finally stopped hyperventilating, I took stock of my situation.
Ancient courtyard. Fancy robes. A faint smell of incense.
Somewhere nearby, someone was reciting a sutra like their life depended on it.
"Okay," I muttered to myself. "Let's recap. I died saving a kid, woke up in a xianxia world, and the first thing the System told me was to seduce the male protagonist. Great. I'm living in a fever dream."
[Correction: a system-assigned mission. Objective — Seduce Yan Yezhen, the Heavenly Lord.]
I jumped at the voice echoing in my skull. "Don't do that! You sound like a horror movie ghost with Wi-Fi."
[Noted. Would you like to hear your tutorial?]
"Do I have a choice?"
[No.]
A floating blue text box blinked to life in front of me.
Villain Seduction System 3.0
Current Identity: Lin Feng (Inner Disciple, Azure Spirit Sect)
Role: Secondary Antagonist
Target: Yan Yezhen, the future Heavenly Lord
Affection Level: -20
Objective: Raise target's affection to 100 or face termination.
"Termination?" I repeated. "Like… permanent termination?"
[Affirmative.]
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "So if I fail to make some stoic martial prodigy fall in love with me, I die again?"
[Correct.]
I groaned. "Why can't I ever reincarnate as a farmer? Farmers don't die from unrequited love."
[Host personality detected: sarcasm level—97%. Adjusting tutorial accordingly.]
"Don't you dare—"
[Tutorial loaded.]
Before I could protest, a wave of dizziness slammed into me. The world flickered, and when it steadied, I was standing in front of a mirror inside a lavish chamber.
The man in the reflection wasn't me—or at least, not my me.
Long black hair tied with jade pins. Sharp brows. Skin so smooth it could reflect sunlight.
Lin Feng looked like the kind of guy who kicked puppies for fun and charged interest on compliments.
I tugged at my sleeve, grimacing. "Well. At least I'm hot."
[Reminder: Vanity reduces moral cultivation by 2%.]
"Oh, bite me."
The door slammed open with enough force to rattle my teeth.
A tall man in pristine white robes stood in the doorway, radiating judgment like a one-man thunderstorm. His face screamed, I've disowned you before and I'll do it again for free.
"Lin Feng!" he barked.
I blinked. "Uh… present?"
"You disgrace!" he thundered. "Drunk again last night! Do you have any idea how much shame you've brought upon this sect?!"
"Oh, we're doing this," I muttered under my breath. "Okay, sure."
He pointed at me like I'd just defaulted on a cosmic loan. "You are the son of the Sect Leader! Yet you spend your days gambling, drinking, and chasing—"
"Men?" I offered weakly.
His face froze mid-rant. "…Excuse me?"
"Sorry! I mean—women! Definitely women!"
Oh gods, my future execution was already warming up backstage.
[Host detected: speech inconsistency. Decreasing reputation by 5 points.]
"Not helping," I hissed.
The man—Sect Leader Lin Zhen, apparently—snorted. "Pathetic. Reflect on your failures. You are forbidden from leaving your quarters for three days."
He spun on his heel and stormed out, robes fluttering like judgmental clouds.
Silence descended.
I exhaled. "So that was my dad. Great. I'm off to a wonderful start."
[Parental relationship: strained. Potential for redemption quest: 17%.]
"Not now, Siri."
[I am not Siri.]
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."
A knock interrupted our snarkfest. A timid voice came from the hall. "Young Master Lin? Master Yan Yezhen has arrived for morning meditation."
My brain stopped functioning. "Wait. The Yan Yezhen?"
[Affirmative. Plot event: First encounter. Flirtation opportunity: high.]
"Oh no." I scrambled to fix my hair. "What do I even say to him? 'Hey, sorry my canon self bullied you—want to trauma bond?'"
[Confidence is key, Host. Mission 1 initializing: Make the Heavenly Lord's heart flutter.]
"Make his—what?!"
Before I could protest, the door slid open.
And there he was.
Yan Yezhen.
Tall. Composed. His white robes were simple yet exquisite, stitched with faint blue patterns that shimmered like frost. His long black hair was tied with a silver clasp, and his expression—calm, distant, unreadable—was the kind of serenity only people who didn't pay rent could afford.
He looked divine. Literally divine.
For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
[Warning: Host staring for more than five seconds. Suggest blinking.]
I blinked violently. "Uh. Hi."
Yan Yezhen's brows furrowed slightly. "You were summoned an hour ago, Senior Brother Lin. Were you… occupied?"
"Oh, yeah," I said quickly. "Meditating. Deeply. Spiritually. With… enthusiasm."
His silence could have frozen lava.
[Critical Charm Failure. Affection -10.]
"Shut up," I whispered.
He tilted his head. "Did you say something?"
"No! Just—uh—talking to myself. Helps me focus."
"…I see." He turned to leave. "Do try to be punctual next time."
"Wait—" The word slipped out before I could stop it.
He paused at the doorway.
My brain scrambled. "Um. Nice sword?"
His brows drew together. "Excuse me?"
"I mean—it's very shiny! Great craftsmanship! Totally not a euphemism!"
He stared.
[Affection Level: -30. Mission failed.]
My soul vacated my body. "Wait, no, don't—"
[Punishment: Temporary paralysis—initiated.]
I hit the floor face-first, limbs locked.
Yan Yezhen blinked, expression unreadable. "…Are you… all right?"
I tried to respond but managed only a muffled groan into the floorboards.
[Host speech disabled for 30 seconds.]
"System!" I hissed internally. "You're ruining my meet-cute!"
[Discipline builds character.]
"Character my ass—"
By the time I regained control, Yan Yezhen had already turned away, adjusting his sleeve with graceful indifference. "Next time, refrain from flattery you do not mean, Senior Brother Lin."
Ouch. Direct hit. My pride was bleeding out on the floor.
I scrambled up, brushing off imaginary dust. "No, wait, I do mean it! I totally admire your—uh—form. I mean sword form! The sword form you use during practice! Sharp, elegant, emotionally distant—just like you!"
There was a long pause.
He glanced back over his shoulder, eyes faintly narrowed. "...Are you mocking me?"
[Warning: Target suspicion rising.]
"Mocking? No, no, never! I respect you. I respect everything about you. Especially your—uh—discipline! Yes, discipline! Big fan of… discipline."
The words tumbled out like a landslide.
Yan Yezhen gave a quiet sigh, the kind that made you feel like you'd failed an exam you didn't know existed. "Focus on your cultivation, Senior Brother. Idle words won't strengthen your core."
With that, he turned and left, robes swaying like moonlight over water.
I stared after him in silence.
[Affection Level: -35.]
"System," I muttered, "I think he hates me."
[Optimistic interpretation: He noticed you.]
"Yeah, so does a cat notice a cockroach."
[Host humor detected. Morale +5.]
"Stop gamifying my breakdown."
I flopped onto the nearest cushion, groaning into my sleeve. "Why me? Why not some manipulative seductress or a heavenly fox spirit? Why reincarnate the guy who can't flirt without starting an international incident?"
[Fate selection randomized. Probability of success: 0.02%.]
"…You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
[I am incapable of enjoyment. However, your suffering provides narrative satisfaction.]
"Unbelievable."
I dragged myself upright and looked around the room again. Fine silks, scrolls, incense burners. Definitely rich villain aesthetic.
I was trapped in the body of a pampered young master with a bad reputation and worse people skills.
"Okay," I said, pacing. "I can fix this. I'll just… act like a reformed jerk. Everyone loves a redemption arc, right?"
[Warning: Deviating from canon too quickly may cause world destabilization.]
"So if I stop being an ass too soon, the universe implodes?"
[Possible timeline fracture: 47%.]
"Fantastic. So I have to gradually become less terrible."
[Correct. Seduction via contrast is more effective.]
"You're literally teaching me how to be emotionally manipulative."
[Villain Seduction System: specialized curriculum.]
"Right." I sighed. "Fine. Step one—damage control. Step two—make the Heavenly Lord like me enough not to vaporize me."
A pause. Then—
[Optional Quest: Offer Yan Yezhen a sincere apology. Reward: +5 Affection, +1 Moral Virtue.]
I snorted. "Sincere? He'll never buy that from me."
[Host charm stat: 8/100. Suggest upgrading.]
"How?"
[Smile more.]
I stared at the ceiling. "You're really setting me up for failure."
[Failure builds resilience.]
"…I hate you."
[Acknowledged. Host emotions logged.]
I sank back into the cushion, watching a single dust mote drift through a shaft of sunlight. Somewhere outside, disciples were practicing sword forms, their voices ringing with discipline and purpose.
Meanwhile, I was mentally rehearsing how not to flirt like a malfunctioning NPC.
"Tomorrow," I muttered. "Tomorrow I'll apologize. Maybe even meditate or something. A reformed scumbag arc starts small."
[Motivational subroutine activated.]
"Shut up, System."
[Acknowledged.]
Silence again. The faint hum of wind chimes filled the room.
I glanced down at my reflection in the teacup beside me—sharp jawline, dark eyes, faint smirk.
"Lin Feng," I murmured, "you're going to die again if you keep being yourself."
And the worst part? I wasn't sure if that was a joke.
[Mission Reminder: Raise Yan Yezhen's affection to 100 before the next moon cycle.]
"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, collapsing back onto the floor. "Seduce the ice prince, survive the plot, don't get vaporized. Easy."
A bird chirped outside, mockingly cheerful.
I glared at it. "Don't you start."
This was my new life now—part villain, part idiot, full-time disaster.
And if I wanted to survive it, I had exactly one month to make an immortal ice prince fall in love with me.
No pressure.