Chapter 5
A Dangerous Comfort
The day dragged on like the cook itself was mocking me.
No matter how hard I tried to focus, I could feel him... not even looking, just there.
His presence filled the office like warm air I couldn't escape.
Every time a deep voice cut through the room during the discussion, my heartbeat jumped without permission. I hated how easily he could do that to me.
By lunch, my nerves were on edge.
I needed a break, a moment to breathe without him in the same air, so I headed to the rooftop. It was quiet and peaceful. I was wondering how the world would be without him, how my day would be without his presence, but the wind and distant sound of traffic.
And then of course you followed running away from me, he said, teasing low and coming close. I pretended not to mind him, but he kept on coming closer.
I turn away, closing my arms, trying to hide the chaos he caused in me. Don't filter yourself. I just needed some fresh air, I said to him, forcing my voice to sound calm.
He stepped close, not close enough to touch, but close enough that the air shifted between us, the years, the family connection, the rules, they were all screaming at me to walk away, but I didn't.
''You have changed,'' he said softly, his eyes searching mine like he was trying to read something I wasn't ready to admit.
So have you, I shot back, but my voice wasn't steady as it is.
He tilted his head smiling that same maddening smile. I didn't expect to see you like this, not here, not like this.
What's this supposed to mean? I whispered. He hesitated for a second, he looked like he was fighting something inside him, and I was madly disturbed trying to stop talking to him, but I couldn't accept the fact, and even change what it is meant to be.
Then quietly, he said It means it is getting hard to pretend I don't feel something when I look at you.
My chest tightened
No no no he shouldn't say that
I stepped back, needing space, needing to breathe… Junior, you can't say that.
I know he said his voice was rougher now, pretending it wasn't easy anymore.
The wind whispered between us, carrying the weight of everything unsaid. I turned away, staring at the city below, trying to convince myself that this was a stupid feeling that would pass.
But when I felt his eyes on me, warm, intense, older I knew it wouldn't.
The problem wasn't just him.
The problem was that I wasn't ready to stop either.