She held on too tightly to something that was already slipping away…
Now she's the one who must let go, because he lets go long before her.
The sky bled pink and orange as the last light slipped beneath the horizon. Colors fading like a field of tiger lilies left too long in the sun, once vibrant, now withered.
I stood still for a moment, watching the world sink into the night, my hands curled at my sides. As if watching Thayer slip away all over again.
How I will have to do it, one final time, undoing the wrong choice I made before.
His voice threaded through my thoughts, thin but unbroken. "You're still holding on."
"Not for much longer," I told him, though my fingers curled tighter, refusing to loosen.
They waited until the city slept—easier for me to disappear, or die, without anyone seeing. Better they believe I just ran off in the night back home to Solence, Thesira, than know I lost my life in some dangerous… What? A procedure? A severing?
Even now, I didn't fully understand what I was walking into.
Only that it could free me.
Or kill me.
The wind moved gently through the orange-tinged red-leaved trees of Noctira, just a whisper, but their presence loomed, almost intimidating, waiting to see if I broke before I even made it there. Their shadows stretched long behind me, fading into the night as I walked.
Maybe it was their way of telling me I could do this. I looked up from where I stood on the firm dirt path, the branches swayed above me, and the five-pointed rustic leaves rattled like maracas in the wind.
Or maybe it was warning me, turn back now, before you lose your life alongside his.
"You're stalling," Thayer said, his tone a thread pulled taut through my thoughts.
"I'm thinking."
"Thinking won't change it. Just keep walking."
The Threadcutter didn't have much experience with this, since most of the people who would qualify are back home, my home.
I had a bad habit of focusing on the negative, on what could go wrong.
Sounds of cicadas filled my ears, the bats swimming like they're drowning above, looking for their next meal.
Lightning bugs low to the ground flickering for their soul mates.
I wondered if I even believed in soulmates anymore. Maybe, but not in the way Solence believes.
Their city lights and sheltered sky, no one would even know cicadas, bats, or lightning bugs still existed. They were good at only showing us what they wanted.
Narcissistic leaders, charming their way into keeping their roles, and no one ever batting an eye.
Until I did.
And now they wish to silence me before I have a chance to speak.
"They can try, but silence isn't your fate, not this time. You've been quiet your whole life, but there is a voice inside you waiting to be heard."
There was a chill in the air, goosebumps rose along my skin, and I wished I hadn't left my arms exposed; my hands moved to rub them warm.
The breeze brought the scent of maple, reminding me of the first day I arrived here, not that it was a good memory, far from it, but the tree smell was much stronger then, brand new to my sense of smell.
Once I saw the dim-lit building in the distance, its shape swallowed by the night as if it had grown from the darkness itself.
The guards in forest green tech suits stood like shadows given form, their movements too still, too precise, barely visible in the night.
No windows to break the smooth black walls, no edges of glass to catch the moonlight, nothing to suggest anyone ever looked out at the sky full of stars, only the low constant hum of something unseen within, like the building itself was breathing.
The longer I stared, the more it felt less like a building and more like a void waiting to take me in.
I knew this was the last night I would be this way.
With every step, my anxiety spiked, my chest felt like a brick had gone through it, my thoughts spiraled, but I knew this day was inevitable.
Though I'm not sure I would have voted for this had it only been up to me. But I had plenty of time to think about it, and I knew it was the best for both of us.
I knew I couldn't hold on. No matter how tightly I clung to the threads between us.
I understood what had to be done, even if it was going to hurt.
And it was going to hurt.
Physically and emotionally.
He told me that much.
"To sever a soul-thread wasn't just painful, it meant wiping away the pieces of someone embedded inside you.
Their Love.
Their Memory.
Their Guilt".
I wasn't sure what would be left of me once Thayer was gone.
The journal still pressed tightly against my side, its pages aching with things I hadn't yet spoken aloud, things only he and I knew. I could still smell the flowery lilac perfume. Hasley must have worn it every day to leave the scent behind in her writing.
But it wasn't the only thing she left behind; if not for her, I don't think I'd have found the push I needed to go through with this.
I took one last look up at the now starry sky, "Thank you, Hasley, for opening my eyes."
I spoke out loud to my great ancestor before facing forward once more.
Each step toward it pressed heavier on my chest, the hum in the air threading through my bones.
Where they waited for me.
The choice was already made.
Even if the path opened behind me, I wouldn't turn back.
Saying goodbye wouldn't be easy. But it would be the first goodbye I would have the chance to speak.
All the other goodbyes in my life were silent and unheard. Or so I thought.
Because silence was not the end in Solence, it' just a space where echoes linger, waiting to be heard again.
His voice remained tender and steadfast.
"Silence isn't the end here either. As long as you never forget me, I'll always be here—in your memory."