"Shit, fuck, fuckers, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuck" I spent the last two days repeating that mantra in my head, ever since my mother's neighbor called to let me know she was gone.
Not that I'm very sad about it, she kick me out 20 years ago almost to the date, and She's been dead to me for just as long.
It was the summer before I went away for college, my best friend and I were in my bedroom making plans for the next year (disregard the fact that we were naked and hard). We were supposed to be roommates, we were supposed to be a lot more than that.
But my mother caught us in the middle of our planning session, let's just say she wasn't a fan of how I was demonstrating to Quentin the benefits of having only one bed.
I'm not sure what happened later, she screech, he ran, I froze. A few hours later I was walking out of the village with all of my clothes, my meagers savings and a sense of freedom like I never knew before. Not sad about it, not at all.
I moved to the big city, yeah yeah I'm a fucking cliche, so what? If you wanna keep going in the cliche route, Q. never showed up, never answered his phone, and neither did any of my "friends", to the entire village I was dead, and fucking like wise.
Today I am 38, a successful architect, have an awesome hot bod thanks to the best pt money can buy, a super cool ride, and yes, I am incredible shallow, so? My therapist says that I am emotionally stunted, but at least I am self aware, and I'm fine. Really. No, really, really, I am.
Playing it safe it's fine, really. It's like having this awesome diner with no dessert, but I really never liked sweets anyway, really.
I'm driving through the bridge that leads me to helltown. And fuuuuuuuck I don't wanna be here. I should have just send someone to handle this, why da fuck did I listened to my therapist about closure and stuff, why would I want that, healthy lifestyle is so overated, well I also wanted to show off, but I can do that on social media. Fuuuuuuuck.
I race throw town not looking at any one, not thinking, definitely not feeling nothing, nothing! Well, I didn't raced all that much because the town is 10 blocks long in it's bigger side.
I parked my early mid life crisis (sexy red convertible) in front of her house. It looks the same. Fuck fuck fuck.
Not sure how long I sat there, when someone knocks on my window, I didn't jump or scream cause I'm a man damnit. And right there, fuck, is a twenty something farmer-looking guy, and for the life of my I have never being so turn on, so fast.
"Hi, you lost?" He ask smiling... WHO DA FUCKS TALKS AND SMILES AT THE SAME TIME!!! is that a thing? Not the time, I should say something.
Say something!!!
"Mmm nope" there, he must be impressed.
"Okey..." now he is not smiling, gods damnit
"That's my house" I clarified pointing at the hunted looking monstrosity
A look of understanding crossed his face "your the..."
"The fag" I finish his sentence, look at us, already like an old married couple.
He coughed "I was going to say the son, but good to know" and there's that smile again "I'm sorry for your lost"
He looked so sad and mournful, and I just lost it, I went full on lol, there were tears and everything.
Why he didn't run away to the hills, I don't know, maybe he is a little daft, good thing he's pretty, so so pretty.
And now I've done it, that smile it's gone for good "it's cool bro" I get douchy in emotionally charged situations ok? Fuck off "she wouldn't have liked hearing you calling me her son" I played a strategically deep sigh, while combing my hair with my fingers and flexing my guns at the kid, I call this the "are-you-thirsty? Test". His reaction was better than I expected, a sharp intake of air, eyes bugging out just a little, and an acceptable amount of panic. In the scale of one to ten, a perfect seven, which means he is interested but confused, and who can blame him, I'm a hot mess, but a mess non the least
His mouth is open, no sound come out, I think I broke him
"Don't worry about it" I wave my hand trying to shoo away the past "do I know you??"
"Ah right!" He offers his hand, his big, veiny strong hand, I don't have a hand fetish, never had, but I'm turning into putty "Matt Waters, nice to finally meet you"
Say what?