Yuigahama forked some cake into her mouth and, after a few seconds, released a sigh of appreciation. "Mmm! Your homemade cake is so good, Yukinon!"
"Oh? I'm glad you enjoy it."
"It really is yummy!" agreed Komachi. "You'll have no trouble getting married! Right, Bro—"
Abruptly, another vehement thump sounded from the neighboring room.
"Eep!"
"Not again… Our neighbors are a little rowdy." Fed up, I glanced at the wall.
But Totsuka smiled a crooked smile and shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah. But karaoke always gets loud… Oh, is there peach in this?"
"There is," replied Yukinoshita. "Since they're coming into season."
Yukinoshita's cake really did taste quite fancy, with all those fresh peaches in it. I savored the delicious dessert with relish.
Suddenly, Zaimokuza commented, "Did you know, Hachiman, that in ancient China, peaches were prized as the secret to eternal youth? A truly auspicious fruit, indeed."
"Wow. That's some great trivia, but why am I the only one you're sharing this with? Not that I have no sympathy."
"You're so good at baking, Yukinon," Komachi gushed, impressed.
Yukinoshita, however, reacted with neither pride nor modesty. She was simply composed. "It's nothing impressive. You cook at home, don't you, Komachi?"
"Yeah. Both our parents work, so I do the cooking. Oh, but my brother used to do it."
Yuigahama leaped to her feet in an exaggerated gesture of surprise. "Whaaat?! He did?!"
"Yeah, 'cause knives and the stove and stuff were too dangerous for her until she was ten or so," I said. "Which means I can take pride in my ability to cook better than almost any sixth grader."
"What a dubious claim to fame…," Yukinoshita said, unsure how to react.
It wasn't, though. It was a perfectly respectable reason to be proud. "And I can do pretty much all house chores at a sixth-grade level. I'm ready to be married off as a househusband whenever! No way am I ever entering the workforce! Get a job and you lose!" I declared loudly.
Yukinoshita softly pressed her temple as if her head ached. "There he goes again, spouting nonsense with a rotten look in his eyes…"
"Huh… So you can cook, too, Hikki," said Yuigahama. "I've gotta get good, too… I still haven't been able to give him proper cookies…"
"Oh, all this talk about cooking reminds me." Yukinoshita rummaged around in her bag, withdrew something, and handed it to Yuigahama.
"Huh? Wh-what is this?" wondered Yuigahama.
"It's your birthday present. I don't know if it will suit your taste, though."
"Oh," I said. "The thing you found after going through all those idiotic magazines that make no sense and you would usually never read."
Yukinoshita shot me with a glare. Yikes. "You may keep your mouth shut."
"Yukinon… For me? Thank you. Can I open it?"
"Y-yes, go right ahead." Yukinoshita was a little shy.
Yuigahama flashed her an especially bright smile and unwrapped the gift. "An apron… U-um, thank you! I'll take good care of it!"
When Yukinoshita saw Yuigahama's sincere delight, she looked somehow relieved. "Personally, I'd be happier if you used it rather than delicately hanging it up as a decoration."
"Yeah! I'll use it with love!"
"I'll give you mine then, too." Totsuka, after watching their exchange, also rummaged through his bag. "Here. You always have your hair up, right, Yuigahama? So I bought you a hair clip."
"Thank you, Sai-chan! Actually, this is so cute. Your tastes are even girlier than mine…"
"And I'll give you this." Komachi had also gotten her something and pulled a carefully wrapped present out of her bag. "Here. It's a picture frame."
"Thank you, too, Komachi-chan!"
"I actually really wanted to give you a photo along with it, but all the photos at home just have those rotten eyes… He must have some appeal that doesn't show up in photos."
"Oh, so he's got that rotten look even in pictures, huh…? Hey, but it's not like I wanted one, anyway!" Yuigahama said, but she looked happy.
Zaimokuza, who had been thus far only watching the presentation of gifts, abruptly ruffled his hair. "Hrrm. Alas, alack. As I was invited so uncharacteristically suddenly, I came unprepared."
Indeed, it had been out of the blue. In fact, it would have been cause for concern if he had gotten her a present.
Apparently of similar sentiment, Yuigahama gave him a casual smile and a warm reply. "Hey, don't worry about it at all, okay?"
"And thus! I present you with an autographed copy of my brand-new manuscript!"
"Don't worry about it at all, okay…" Though her statement was almost exactly the same, its temperature had dropped to absolute zero.
"Duh-heh. What a rejection, hrrnk. Now that it has come to this, I shall bestow upon you a mix CD of my top one hundred anime songs."
The moment I heard that, I automatically grabbed Zaimokuza by the shoulders and stopped him.
"Don't do it, Zaimokuza. Anything but that."
"Ngh, wh-why? 'Tis unlike you to so tearfully stop me from doing something." He looked at me with bewilderment.
"I suppose I have no choice," I said. "I'll tell you. This is about a friend of a friend of mine, though…"
"Th-this kinda sounds familiar…"
Despite Yuigahama's discomfort, I began. "In middle school, he had a crush on a girl. She was in the school band, a cute girl who liked music. On her birthday, he screwed up his courage to give her a present. He had stayed up all night putting together a collection of his recommended anime songs for this girl, since she loved music. He had meticulously culled the best songs and even had the forethought to leave out anything too overtly romantic or otaku-ish." "Hrrm. A spirit I can respect," said Zaimokuza.
"I can see where this is going, though…," commented Yukinoshita.
The next event was the crux of my tale. "She accepted the gift, and he was so happy, he cried. But the following day, tragedy struck. It happened during lunchtime, the period when one of the members of the broadcast committee would play tasteful music from the schoolwide speakers. 'Okay,' she announced. 'The next song is a request from Hachiman Ota-gaya in Class 2-C! Snrk. It's a love song for Yamashita!'"
"That's enough! No more, Hachimaaan!" Zaimokuza latched onto me and clung tight in an effort to cut the story short.
"Ngh!" My tears spilled onto Zaimokuza's chest.
Yuigahama averted her gaze, avoiding the whole scene. "So it was about you after all."
"Jerk! It wasn't about me! It was Otagaya!" I protested, but not a single person believed me.
Yukinoshita in particular sported an expression that surpassed pity and approached fear. "I underestimated you, Hikigaya… To think you're even more wretched than I imagined…"
"Even after my brother graduated, people passed down stories of Otagaya," said Komachi. "Pretending it was some guy I'd never heard of was rough…"
"You're a legend, huh, Hachiman…?" commented Totsuka.
The somewhat gentle tenor of their remarks mingled with my sobs to create an even more miserable picture.
"Well, thank you, guys! Really! This might have been my happiest birthday ever," Yuigahama said as she surveyed her mountain of presents.
Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders. "That's an overstatement."
"No, it's true! I really am glad. I've always been happy with just the party my parents threw me, but…this year has been superspecial… Thank you, Yukinon."
"…I—I just did the obvious," Yukinoshita averted her gaze, as usual, and Yuigahama grinned broadly at her.
Indeed. Perhaps it was a good birthday. "But man," I said. "You sure seem close with your folks. For my birthday last year, my parents gave me ten thousand yen cash, and that was it. Plus, some of it was supposed to pay for a cake."
"Hrrm. 'Twas about the same for me," said Zaimokuza. "The most I receive aside from a cash present is takeout from KFC."
"Huh… R-really?" asked Totsuka. "My parents get me a cake and leave presents by my pillow for me to find the next morning."
"I think there's some other holiday tradition mixed in, there," I said. I understand the desire to throw a birthday party for Totsuka, though. Good job, Mom, Dad.
And then there's my family… Right as the thought reached my mind, Komachi ran her damn mouth. "But, like, my brother's the only one who gets treated like that, you know. On my birthday, we go buy presents together, go out to eat, and buy a cake on the way back."
"It sounds like your parents just don't love Hikigaya…," Yukinoshita remarked.
"What?! Don't be stupid!" I protested. "They superlove me! I'd sure be in trouble if they didn't, since I plan for them to support me for the next twenty years!"
"What an asshole son…," Yuigahama insulted, and I think she meant it. It sort of stung.
With a strained smile, Komachi attempted to smooth things over.
"Well, our parents tend not to give a damn about a lot of things…" "Our parents give so few damns, it's too much even for me," I added.
"Impressive…" Yukinoshita looked rather seriously disturbed, but it was nothing like that.
"They're the kind of people who would name me Hachiman because I was born on August eighth," I explained.
"They really don't give a damn!" cried Yuigahama.
I know, right? I think so, too.
However, Yukinoshita apparently disagreed. "Isn't that a fairly typical rationale for naming a child? It was about the same with me. My name was chosen just because it was snowing when I was born."
Oh my, so I'm not the only one. But I thought the name Yukino combined nicely with the surname Yukinoshita, so I didn't say anything.
Komachi seemed to have a similar opinion. "Yukino is a pretty name, though."
"Thank you," replied Yukinoshita. "I don't hate it, you know. In fact, I like it. And I think Komachi is a beautiful name that suits you well."
"Y-Yukino…"
"Hey. Stop that, Yukinoshita. Don't seduce someone else's petite soeur. The Virgin Mary is watching you." They might as well have had white lilies blooming in the background.
The one who ruined the mood was, of course, good old Zaimokuza. "Guh-heh. So all of you were named by your parents, huh?" "What, and you weren't?" I asked.
Immediately, Zaimokuza pitched forward eagerly. "My name was handed down to me from the distant past… If I must name a godfather, then…yes, I suppose his name would be fate…" "Uh-huh." I really don't give a damn.
"Hrrm. By the way, the kanji says fate, but the ruby reads Grampa."
"Why didn't you just say 'Grampa' in the first place…?"
But right as I thought I might die from how little I cared, Totsuka supplied a tidbit that I did indeed give a damn about. A juicy tidbit, so to speak.
"Ah-ha-ha, my name might be the most normal, then. My parents just wanted me to live a life full of color."
"It's like that old saying," I said. "'The name oft reflects the nature.' You sure add color to my life, Totsuka." I did my best to look cool.
"Geez, don't tease me like that!" he protested. "I'm gonna get mad, you know?"
I wish he would… My expression immediately shifted to a blissful smile.
Totsuka turned to Yuigahama as if he'd just thought of something. "Hey, so why were you named Yui, Yuigahama?" "Huh? Me? Hmm…I've never asked," she said.
"It's your birthday, after all," said Yukinoshita, "so why don't you ask once you're home? It seems your parents love you very much, so I'm sure they have a wonderful story to tell you. And if you don't mind, you could share it with me sometime."
"Yukinon…"
"Watch out, Yukinoshita," I said. "This time, Buddha's watching you, too."
Now, I could see some mandala-like thing floating behind them.
That's not very romantic.
"But man," said Yuigahama, "Hikki and Yukinon and Sai-chan and Snowflake, all of you have meaningful names…ah!" "What is it?" I asked.
Gloom was clouding Yuighama's face. "W-well… I just noticed, but, like… I-I'm the only one who doesn't have a nickname."
"Uh, you forced those nicknames on us, though," I said. "I'm not happy at all about the one you gave me."
Yukinoshita chimed in. "I tried to make you stop, too, but you wouldn't drop it, so I capitulated…"
"Hrrm," added Zaimokuza. "I, too, am somewhat offended by the epithet 'Special Snowflake…'"
Complaint after complaint after complaint.
Yuigahama, however, was unmoved. "Huh? Why? I thought they were good nicknames…"
Totsuka attempted to mollify her. "Oh, I—I don't mind my nickname, though. I think the nickname 'Hikki' is cute and nice, too." "I know, right? Right?!" Yuigahama cheered up.
"Well, I guess it's not as bad as the monikers I've had in the past," I said.
"In the past? So you've had others before?" Yukinoshita asked.
"Yup," I replied. "Time for Top Three Things My Classmates Called
Me That I Hated!"
"This sounds random and depressing." Yuigahama seemed rather nonplussed by my announcement.
Komachi, on the other hand, was totally gung-ho. "And I'm his assistant, Komachi! Presenting number three!" She seized the role of announcer.
"Number three," I began the list.
"Da-dum!" Zaimokuza provided a drum roll, and I paused for effect.
"…Hikigaya-in-first-year's older brother."
For a moment, Yukinoshita looked depressed. "It's quite an experience to hear that from your own classmates… It's denying your entire existence, isn't it…?"
"It's not my brother's fault!" Komachi protested. "I attract a little more attention than he does, and so tragedy struck!"
I held back my tears and declared the next one. "Number two."
"Da-dum!" Zaimokuza's drum roll reverberated through the room, and silence followed.
"That one over there."
"Hrrm. I, too, have had such an experience. They tend to employ demonstratives like that or it. Well, it can be an awesome and terrifying thing to have a name such as mine pass your lips, so I don't blame them!" Before I knew it, Zaimokuza had launched into his commentary.
Of course, Komachi again assumed the role of announcer. "And finally, the shocking number one!" "N-number one…," I declared.
"Da-dum!"
Zaimokuza again thumped for dramatic effect.
"Gulp."
With a collective sound from their throats, everyone waited for me to continue.
"I—I don't want to say…" I really, really didn't want to say this one.
My eyes spontaneously welled with tears.
Totsuka tenderly rubbed my back. "So it was that bad… H-Hachiman, you don't have to force yourself, okay?"
"Thanks, Totsuka…" A sob threatened to escape my throat.
"If this is just digging up trauma for you, you never should have brought it up in the first place…," Yuigahama quipped mercilessly.
"You shuddup! You just have this bizarre obsession with nicknames, so I wanted to shatter your illusions!"
"I think you're a unique case, Hikigaya…," quipped Yukinoshita.
I think this kind of thing is fairly ubiquitous, though. Seriously, nicknames are bad news.
Whether or not Komachi knew my feelings on the matter, she made a suggestion. "Well then, why don't we do this?" she said. "Let's all come up with a nice nickname for Yui."
"You're a good girl, Komachi!" said Yuigahama. "Okay, so starting now, you're Macchi."
"Whoa, Yui," replied Komachi. "You have no taste."
"Huh? No way… I thought that one was great."
Heedless of Yuigahama's mild shock, Totsuka pored over the matter. "Hmm…a nickname, huh? Yuihoho?"
"Oh, 'cause she's a ho, right?" I said. "I like how you think, Totsuka. Why not call her a plain ho, though?"
"Stop calling me a ho! Rejected!"
"Hmm, maybe it'd be worth a lot of Komachi points if I called you Big Sis?" Komachi suggested.
"Hey!" replied Yuigahama. "Manipulation is not allowed! Way too embarrassing! Rejected!"
"Ma-hmm…," Zaimokuza considered. "The Black Byakko."
"Uh, a nickname is not the same thing as a pen name," I said. "…And you do know Byakko is white, right? Pick a color!" "Rejected! Obviously!" declared Yuigahama.
We were all vetoed one after another—Totsuka (or actually, me, I guess), Komachi, and then Zaimokuza. Then, Yukinoshita, who had been biding her time, took the stage. "Well…what about Yuinon?" "Huh? It sounds weird…" Yuigahama instantly shot her down.
Yukinoshita's eyebrow twitched. "That's rich, considering your own choice of nicknames… In that case, why don't you simply create one yourself?" she said.
Yuigahama contemplated for a moment. "It's awkward to come up with a nickname for yourself…"
"You may not have noticed, but you're already awkward…," I said.
"Shut up! And, like, I'm not awkward at all. I'm supernormal."
Yukinoshita nodded vigorously. "Yes, you're exceedingly normal. Perfectly unexceptional."
"That's kind of a hurtful way to put it!" Yuigahama protested.
"Coming from Yukinoshita, that's a rare compliment," I said.
"She thinks that's a compliment?!"
"In her eyes, not calling you 'garbage' or 'scum' is high praise. Just think up a nickname, already."
"Hmm… But I can't just create one out of the blue…oh!" Yuigahama had a flash of insight.
Totsuka turned an expectant gaze toward her. "Did you think of something?"
"Yeah… I'm Yui Yuigahama, so…Y-Yuiyui, I guess?"
"Pft!" I broke into snickers. Come on, for real? That's as embarrassing as you can get.
"H-hey! Why are you laughing?" Yuigahama snapped at me.
Yukinoshita eyed the other girl with concern. "Giving yourself such an embarrassing nickname… Are you a masochist? If you have any issues, you can talk to me…"
"She's sincerely worried about me!" exclaimed Yuigahama, in shock.
Totsuka and Komachi, on the other hand, seemed to think her choice was passable. "I think it works, though," said Totsuka. "Don't you think it's cute?"
"Yeah, it's really Yui-ish," Komachi agreed.
That seemed to restore Yuigahama's confidence. "Y-yeah! I'm not awkward at all!"
"Oh, I think it's kinda weird to be saying that about yourself, though," I remarked.
"Now he's looking away with this little smile!" Yuigahama held her head in her hands and moaned.
Then, an unexpected party brought reinforcements. "Hrrm," said Zaimokuza. "'Tis true that at times, you get used to it the more you say it. I was uncomfortable with the title of Master Swordsman when
first I inherited it, but after three days, the conviction that I was indeed such a man had grown within me."
"Well said, Snowflake!" replied Yuigahama. "But we're nothing alike."
"Hrrk, LOL." After tossing Yuigahama a rope, Zaimokuza was the one to drown.
Yuigahama turned back to Yukinoshita. "So, Yukinon, would you give it a go?"
"No way." Yukinoshita shut her down so firmly even Komachi flinched.
"Ack… No hesitation," Komachi commented.
Yuigahama leaned my way, looking chagrined. "Nghh… Th-then…wwill you try calling me that?"
"Wha…what? I don't wanna call you that fancy fairy-tale nickname." To be precise, it was too mortifying to say.
After I expressed my reluctance, Yuigahama met my eyes for a fleeting instant and immediately looked away. "Th-then…just Yui…would be okay." Perhaps Yuigahama found the nickname uncomfortable, too, as her fingers curled into the hem of her skirt, and she avoided eye contact, a faint blush on her cheeks.
"Hmm. Our definition of a nickname has loosened," commented Zaimokuza.
"Mr. Snowflake, they're having a moment," said Komachi, "so please be quiet."
"Y-yes'm!"
For a brief moment, tranquil stillness engulfed that silent room.
"Come on, Hikki…" Yuigahama's moist eyes slowly lifted, contemplating me earnestly.
"Y… Yu… Agh… If I have to give you a nickname, then…you know…can't I just get rid of the useless part and call you Gahama or something?"
"You'd go that far to avoid saying 'Yui'?!" Yuigahama was in shock.
"You're a loser, Bro…," scoffed Komachi.
Come on. I mean, it's embarrassing…
Regardless, we couldn't settle on a nickname, so Club Captain Yukinoshita brought the discussion to a close. "All right… Can we just call Yuigahama by her name?" she said.
"Whatever. Good enough…," muttered Yuigahama.
Totsuka clasped his glass between his hands and slurped noisily from his straw. "Ah. My drink is empty."
"Hmm? Oh, I'll go get more, then." I gently took his glass and my own, while I was at it, and stood.
Realizing my intention, Totsuka grinned and gave me his order. "Thanks. I'll have a coffee!"
"Roger. Anyone else want something?" I asked, scanning the others.
Yukinoshita quickly raised her cup. "Black tea, Hikigaya."
"Okay."
"I'll have cola, then!" added Komachi.
"All right. What about you, Gahama?" I asked Gahama next. But her back was turned, and she made no move to reply. "…Hmph." "Gahama?" I asked again.
"Urgh! …Hmph!" This time, Gahama only glowered my way for an instant.
At a loss, I scratched my head. Oh well. I suppose I have no choice but to call her that. "Agh… Do you want something to drink…Yuiyui?"
"Oh, sorry. Let's not do that nickname after all…" Yuiyui pressed her hands together in a pleading gesture.
"Tell me whatever you want. What'll you have, Yuiyui?"
"Stop that, I said! Just give me what Komachi is having!"
"Okies. So is cola okay, Yui?"
"You're so stubbo—huh?" Yuigahama blinked at me.
Well, um, like. That was a verbal typo.
And last was Zaimokuza. "What do you want to drink, Zaimokuza? Curry?"
"Are you treating me like the fat character? I shall go with Ultra Divine Water." "Cider. Got it."
"You understood that, huh…? You and Mr. Snowflake sure are close," remarked Komachi.
With all the orders in mind, I opened the door and left the room.
"Um…coffee, black tea, cola…and curry, right?" As I refilled the beverages at the drink bar, I heard music and voices belting at top volume. The source appeared to be the booth next to ours. "Whoa, the neighbors sure are partying it up. Well, I don't want them partying so hard they bang on the walls, though… Maybe I should go tell them to tone it down."
I've never regretted any reckless action more than the one I took at that moment. If I had never witnessed the harrowing scene that ensued, I've no doubts I would have been able to return home in peaceful bliss that day. But I never could have foreseen the tragedy I would discover…
I approached the neighboring room and rapped lightly on the door.
But the music seemed to be drowning out the quiet knocks. "Hmm?
Can they not hear me? Well, I'll try peeking in." I gingerly turned the doorknob and peered in through the open sliver. "Ohh…is that…Miss…Hiratsuka? Yeah, she's by herself, so it's definitely her."
Miss Hiratsuka is almost always alone, so it was her for sure. She was clutching a mike and staring at the screen in an enervated stupor. "Heh… Love songs are nothing but fraud, deceit, and lies. I don't feel like singing… And to make matters worse, the people in the next room sound like they're having a blast, like they got married or something… You normies can go die in a fire…"
The moment I heard her voice, I panicked and closed the door, but I couldn't hold back the sobs that escaped. "Ngh…ghk… M-Miss Hiratsuka… Seriously, someone marry this woman already… Oh crap, she's coming." As she stirred beyond the door, I rushed back toward the drinks and assumed my best nonchalant facade.
Fatigued, Miss Hiratsuka approached the drink bar. "Agh… I'm thirsty… Hmm? Hikigaya? I'm surprised to see you here."
"H-Hello, Miss Hiratsuka. Wh-why are you here?" I asked.
She momentarily panicked, but she immediately adopted her usual comportment. "Me? I… W-well, I'm, uh, letting off stress. You're…oh, I see. Yuigahama's birthday party. Are you having fun?"
"Yeah, I guess."
A soft smile abruptly touched Miss Hiratsuka's lips. "…I see. Ah, pardon me. I'm going to have a smoke." After that comment, she pulled a cigarette out of her breast pocket, held it in her mouth, and lit it. The puff of smoke meandered around near the ceiling. "Maybe you've changed a little, lately. Before, you never would have come to something like a birthday party. But whatever brought you here, as your teacher, I'm glad to see these signs of growth."
"Miss Hiratsuka…"
"But despite that, Hikigaya, this is you we're talking about. You probably feel this kind of life is deceitful and fake. For now, that's fine. Those profound doubts of yours are proof that you deeply consider life, and it's good to do that. Things don't have to come to you right away… I hope that one day, you'll arrive at your own answers."
So Miss Hiratsuka sees me for who I am, huh? She doesn't reject the way I am now or affirm it. She's just trying to see me through the process. When I realized that, my heart warmed very slightly. "Miss Hiratsuka…since you're here, will you come say hi to everyone?"
"Hmm? I'm flattered by the invitation, but…earlier I told Yuigahama I was going to a party… If by any chance you kids find out I was kicked out of the matchmaking party… No, I'll pass. I'd feel bad for crashing your party."
"You wouldn't be crashing it. At the very least, we can clap along while you sing songs that none of us know because of the generation gap!"
Even though I was trying to be considerate, for some reason Miss Hiratsuka's hand slowly began to form a fist. "Hikigaya, clench your teeth… Shocking First Bullet!"
"They have a drink bar here, though." I heard Yukinoshita's voice. "I thought for sure those were only at family restaurants."
"Uh, I think most karaoke places have some kind of drink bar." Yuigahama's voice followed.
Komachi chimed in. "Now that you mention it, why did you decide on karaoke, Yui? If you wanted all-you-can-drink, we could just have gone to a family restaurant…"
"Maybe it was because…karaoke has private rooms?" suggested Totsuka.
"Ohh, I gotcha! But since we're here, anyway, I'd like to sing a bit," Komachi said in a subtle invitation.
I guess Yuigahama noticed, as she jumped on the idea. "Yeah! You know, I was getting the impression here that no one wanted to sing, so I just avoided it without thinking about it."
"The way you live seems exhausting, as always, Yuigahama…," said Yukinoshita. "You don't have to abstain from what you want. Besides, isn't it your birthday today? You're allowed to be a little selfinterested."
"Yukinon… Oh, th-then…"
I heard snippets of their conversation through the door before I gave it a light rap, rap. "Heeey, open up!"
"Bro, you're back."
"I'll get the door, okay, Hachiman?" Totsuka trotted up and opened it for me.
"Thanks, Totsuka."
Maybe it was the slight sadness tinging my voice, but Totsuka peered up at me with worry. "H-Hachiman? What's wrong? Did something made you sad?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Nothing at all. No depressing sights whatsoever…" Indeed, nothing had happened. There had been no miserable single teacher… The punch had wiped out my memory of it. If it hadn't, I would have been a little upset.
When I set down the tray of glasses, I saw an offended Zaimokuza. "Hachiman! You took too long! Don't leave me all by my lonesome! I instinctively started playing games on my phone!"
"Cram it. In a situation like this, a loner avoids looks of pity by running all the errands."
"Whoa, what a horrible skill you've leveled up!" Komachi sure chose a weird thing to be impressed by.
My idea must have made sense to Zaimokuza, since he eventually slapped his knee after a bit of whining. "Nghhh. Next time, you are permitted to invite me when you go get drinks! I shall allow it!"
"No need to be so passive-aggressive. Here, Yukinoshita, your tea." I handed her the cup.
Yukinoshita accepted it without complaint and continued the conversation with Yuigahama. "Thank you. So, Yuigahama, what did you want to do?"
"Oh yeah. Yukinon, let's sing together. It's embarrassing by myself." "Absolutely not." Once again, Yukinoshita immediately refused.
"Huh?! But just now, you said you'd do anything I asked!"
"No, I didn't."
"Give it up," I said. "You'll have to throw in the towel, Yuigahama. Yukinoshita just doesn't have confidence in her singing. Read between the lines here."
"Really?" Yuigahama asked, puzzled.
Yukinoshita puffed out her chest, softly put her hand over her heart, and struck a rather haughty pose. "Heh. I can't have you looking down your nose at me. Be it violin, piano, or Electone, music is something of a hobby of mine."
"Is there a point to doing both piano and Electone…?" Anyway, I suppose she was trying to convey that she was musically accomplished.
"I have no particular objections to singing," said Yukinoshita. "I only lack confidence in my ability to sing an entire song all the way through."
"That's a pretty hard-core lack of stamina, there…," I said. Can you even stay alive like that?
Yuigahama gave Yukinoshita's sleeve a few light tugs. "Yukinon, Yukinon. If we sing together, you'll expend half the energy, you know?"
"Under what mathematical system? Well, if you insist, I'll do just one song with you," Yukinoshita agreed.
"Yay!" Yuigahama bounced.
Komachi handed them the touchpad. "Okay, then maybe I'll sing one after you guys. What about you, Totsuka?"
While Yuigahama and Yukinoshita examined the selection of songs, Totsuka gently pointed at one of them. "Hmm…I'd like to sing this one…"
"That singer is a lady, though," said Komachi.
"Oh, I see… I wonder if I'll be able to sing it…" Totsuka looked a little discouraged.
"Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem…," Komachi replied. "If you're unsure, I'll help you out, 'kay?"
He beamed at her. "Really? Thanks. I was kinda embarrassed to do it alone."
"Urk… I—I…I get why he makes you lose your mind now, Bro."
Yup, yup, now you understand, too. Also, I haven't lost my mind.
"Hrrm. It seems everyone is pairing up to sing." For some reason, Zaimokuza was inching toward me.
"Huh? Hey, hey, hold on a second. Don't you think something funny's happening here? I thought our boy-girl ratio was even. Who even decided I have to pair up with Zaimokuza?!" I demanded, but nobody heeded me.
"Heh, my anime songs folder has been waiting for this day. So should we begin our assault with the late nineties?"
"Hey, I won't deny I like that stuff, too, but I don't wanna sing with you!"
"Hey, hey, it's too late to say that now," said Zaimokuza. "I don't wish to be the solo bard, either. I think it would make everyone feel awkward."
"So you do have some self-awareness…," I replied. "Forget it. Let's just sit quietly in the corner and pat our knees to the beat…"
"No! I can resist no longer! We shall sing! And when I do, raise your ultra orange glow sticks, please."
"Who cares about the color of the glow sticks?!" Besides, our turn would clearly be the downer piece of the evening, so something that obnoxiously bright wasn't even an option.
Meanwhile, the other pairs were steadily making their plans. "Ah, okay, then Yukinon and I will sing this one," said Yuigahama. "Ah, I'm not familiar with that song, though. Hey, are you listening?"
Apparently, Yuigahama was not, as she immediately input the song. "Hmm…now, where's the Confirm button…?" she muttered.
"Right here, right here," chirped Komachi.
Beep-beep-beep, trilled the machine.
"Oh, ohhhh~! Dividing Driver!" Zaimokuza crooned. "Hrrm. It seems my throat is in good condition." He practiced his enunciation of Gaga-ga! in earnest.
"C-come on, hold on a minute, please! At least make it with Totsuka. Let me sing with Totsuka!" I protested.
An unfeeling synthetic voice interrupted Zaimokuza's vocal warmups. "The song is about to begin."
Yukinoshita let out a short sigh. "Aghh… Good grief."
"Yukinon, come on, come on! It's starting!"
"Yuigahama, the mike, please."
"Whoa, you're actually really into this!"
When I come to a birthday party, I don't really fit in. When I get a nickname, it just rubs salt in old wounds. And when I do karaoke, I end up in a duet with another guy… As I expected…my youth romantic comedy is wrong…
The automatic doors slid apart, and Yuigahama stepped outside, stretching. "Hnnng! What a great session! It's been so long since I last did karaoke. That was so fun. Let's come again sometime, Yukinon!"
"If I come with you, I imagine I'd be compelled to sing several songs in a row. I'd really rather not. I can't believe you forced me to sing five whole songs after that…," Yukinoshita said as she exited after Yuigahama, totally fed up.
"Huh?! But you were so good! Let's go again!" Yuigahama pleaded.
"Oh, me too, me too! I want to go, too!" Komachi leaped up to Yukinoshita's other side.
Trapped between the two girls, Yukinoshita flushed a little. "…Well, I
don't mind coming with you on occasion."
"Yeah, thanks," said Yuigahama. "And thanks for today, too. I was so happy to have tons of different people come to my birthday party…"
"I'm not the one you should be thanking," replied Yukinoshita. "He's the one who gathered everyone together."
"Y-yeah… H-Hikki…"
I exited the karaoke parlor after the girls, and Yuigahama spun around to face me.
"What?" I asked.
"Um, thanks for… Huh?"
She started to speak, but then she glanced suspiciously at something behind me. Following her line of sight, I discovered a figure standing just behind the automatic doors. After a mechanical whirr, a single woman emerged. "Agh… I spent all that time by myself. Well, if I go home, I'll still be alone, anyway… Heh-heh," she chuckled scornfully.
Yuigahama spoke up, puzzled. "Miss Hiratsuka? Weren't you at a party?"
"Y-Yuigahama?! Y-you guys are still here?!" Miss Hiratsuka panicked as her eyes lit on each member of our group.
At the word party, I suddenly remembered something and blurted without thinking, "A party? Wait, do you mean like a marriage matchmaking party…?"
"…Did it not go well?" Yukinoshita asked, a note of pity coloring her voice.
Yuigahama attempted to comfort the teacher. "M-Miss Hiratsuka? You know, um…marriage isn't everything! You have your career, and you're strong, so I'm sure you'll be fine single. So cheer up, please!"
But the moment Miss Hiratsuka heard, tears welled up in her eyes.
"W-waaaaaaaah! Someone told me the exact same thing once…," she mumbled. It was so heartbreaking, our spirits fell simply from hearing it. She promptly dashed off at top speed.
"Ah. She ran away," I said.
The Doppler effect distorted Miss Hiratsuka's cry as the distance widened between us, her lament reverberating through the night covering the city. "Agh… I want to get married…"