The forest outside Glitchhaven was a nightmare. Trees flickered between pine and palm, the ground randomly turned to ice, and a flock of birds kept respawning mid-flight, squawking the same phrase: "Error 404: Pathfinding not found." Kaz trudged ahead, his debug console buzzing ominously. Liora led the charge, monologuing about "the sacred hunt," while Pippa darted around, stealing pinecones, pebbles, and what she claimed was "the forest's vibe." Grumm lagged behind, muttering about his sore joints and the lack of a union.
"This is the worst party ever," Kaz said, dodging a glitching bush that tried to eat his boot.
Sys, floating beside him, shrugged. "You picked the console, not me. Try using it to trap the squirrel."
Kaz typed spawn_trap: cage into the console. The screen flashed, and a giant birthday cake appeared, exploding into confetti that stuck to everyone like glitter from hell. "Seriously?" Kaz yelled.
"Syntax error, user," Sys said, sipping a holographic smoothie. "Try not to crash the server."
Liora raised her sword. "FEAR NOT! I SHALL SLAY THIS CONFECTIONERY ABOMINATION!" She charged the cake, only for Pippa to steal her sword mid-swing. "Pippa! Return my blade!"
"Shiny!" Pippa chirped, stuffing the sword into her sack, which somehow fit despite being tiny.
Grumm groaned as he got stuck in a glitching mud puddle that teleported him back every time he climbed out. "This is why I hate field work," he muttered.
Finally, they found the Rabid Squirrel of Doom—a glowing, red-eyed beast the size of a dog, chewing on a tree that screamed in binary. Kaz typed disable_enemy: squirrel into the console, but it spawned a flock of disco-ball slimes that started a rave, complete with strobe lights and bass drops.
"Sys, help!" Kaz shouted as the squirrel lunged, gnawing on Grumm's leg.
"I'm on break," Sys said, now lounging on a holographic beach chair. "Figure it out."
Liora challenged the squirrel to a duel ("FACE ME, RODENT OF RUIN!"), but it ignored her. Grumm tanked hits, complaining about his "workplace safety violations." In desperation, Pippa dove at the squirrel, stealing its "invincibility aura" (a glowing orb she claimed was "super shiny"). The squirrel shrank to normal size, squeaked, and fled.
Liora claimed victory with a ten-minute speech about "triumph over chaos." Grumm grumbled about needing a chiropractor. Kaz stared at the confetti-covered forest, the disco slimes still raving in the distance.
"We're doomed," he said.
Sys smirked. "Quest complete, user. Fifty gold and a sock. Don't spend it all in one place."